To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

It’s your money. How dare he ask for your cash. Tell him no and refuse to engage on this topic anymore.

The money will come to you if thats what the will states. If you choose to gift some to your brother that will come from you. If this is a large amount of money it will also remain part of your estate for the next 7 years. I would think carefully about this as it could affect your estate.

And what about the brother's inheritance? Is that more important than his sister?
He gave her ZILCH!

I can see several scenarios here where your brother guilts you in to giving him a proportion of YOUR inheritance between 0% to 100% where you won't see him for dust afterwards. He's not going to accept 25%, be grateful for it and carry on a positive relationship and he's not going to take responsibility for any of your father's care needs, nothing you've said about him makes that at all likely.

Don't be a fool OP.

OP, if you say 25% would be "life changing" for him then the 75% that you would keep must be pretty substantial?

I understand that you owe him nothing but you say you love him dearly. If it were me I would offer maybe 15 or 20% but say that is all there will ever be. Going forward the remainder of the money will be for the benefit of you and your children and their future.

Please keep this money for your children. All of it. Giving any of it to him to try to compensate for something you didn't do is a HUGE mistake.

He's not being fair in asking for it. I would never ask for this money, in his shoes. No one reasonable or loving would, no one looking out for your best interests would.

It is for your children.

Don’t give him any cheeky bastard.

Do you really think that if your mum had inherited the money first, she would have given her stepson half and then half to be divided up between her actual daughter and 4 grandchildren ?
The absolute most I would give him is a sixth.

If your mum had wanted him to have half, she’d have said so in her will. That’s what wills are for - to have your wishes down in black and white.,

IMO given that he didn’t share his own inheritance, he’s got a monumental cheek to expect you to share yours.

The moral thing to do is to honour your grandmother’s wishes , as expressed in her will, @Anonymouslyasking. Your step brother is being a greedy chancer - I wouldn’t give him a penny.

I imagine he was badgering her so she said that to shut him up and live the rest of her life with him being nice to her rather than having to deal with him being unpleasant as he wasn't in the will.

Do not give him a penny.

Hang on, if your mum died before your gran then it was never your mum’s money yo be distributed. It is an inheritance from your granny and he has no claim on it.

I never agree that GP's need to treat stepchildren/grandchildren equally. Normally MN does think that they should becequal (see recent wedding thread). So on that basis I'd offer to buy him accommodation to live in, but retain ownership for my children.

From your updates It sounds very much that your brother is using you He is letting you take the blame for poor treatment by your mother when he was younger. None of this is your responsibility, not one bit. I wouldn't be giving him anything, genuinely, his relationship with you is based on what you can do for/give to him. Invest that money in yourself and your children. It's time for your half brother to stand on his own two feet and get therapy for his own issues.

He's trying to take money from your children. Don't lose sight of that.

No there isn't, inheritances are exempt from consideration as matrimonial assets, it would always have been considered OPs mum's money and a spouse wouldn't have a claim.

Op in the nicest way. You didn’t inherit from your mum. You inherited from your grandparents. None of it is his and it wasn’t ever your mums so his point is irrelevant.

I’d give him 10% if you think it would help him and then wait and see. I think considering he hasn’t be in contact for a long time. You should tread with caution. I don’t imagine if it had gone to him you’d be able to get a red cent.

you are grieving, don’t do anything hasty. Wait a year and see how you feel.

What does he not understand, it was never your mums money, it was directly inherited by you. He's no entitlement to a penny, what if it was an aunt would he want that.
I'd give him something if you want to be kind, maybe £5k

Spot on.

Firstly, you did not inherit anything from your mother, you inherited from your gran, so your mother's wishes do not come into it-even if she had said that to your brother (which I doubt), she can't make promises with other people's money. Would your gran have wanted half of your inheritance to go to a man who is nothing to do with her?

Secondly, your brother is emotionally blackmailing you. Are you willing to accept being blackmailed?

Thirdly, you have FOUR children! What about setting them up? What about their needs? Why are you prioritising your relationship with your brother over your children's financial security? Is he more important than they are? You say it's a life-changing sum of money.

With four children that money could be invested in each of their futures, imagine them having no money worries, being able to travel, go to university if they want to, learn to drive, buy a house etc. You could make all of that happen for your children.

Or you could give in to your blackmailer.

But it was never your mums money, so it isn't an inheritance from your mum and what she said to your half brother is irrelevant.

It's money from your nan that came to you. Yes if your mum had still been alive it may have gone to her and then she could have split it as she wished in her own will, but she wasn't and there is no guarantor your bank would have given it to her anyway!

Your half brother is being a cheeky bastard, and should be grateful if you give him anything at all

Your brother is awful, tell him to piss off.

I wouldn't give anything tbh, it's not his mum or grandparent, he has 2 parents to inherit from (or not), he didn't have a relationship with your mum and if she'd wanted him to have provision she'd have done it 🤷‍♀️ keep it for your own kids 💐

Why would your mother promise him money, sounds like she didn’t even like him?

Which is absolutely NOTHING to do with you, you were a child and she was the parent. You don’t have to repay any debts on her behalf, she didn’t even like him.

Is there any way you can get away with lying about the amount? For example by saying that a large unpaid tax bill owed by your gran has been discovered.

Probably not but thought I'd put it out there..