To put DC's keep up to pay for a cleaner?

[Calculuses]

Two sons, early 20s, both have paid £50pw for the last 4 years. I haven't put it up because as they've got older they see to their own food more and sometimes shop and cook for me too.

Both are pretty good at "helping" when asked, they clean the bathroom, do the bins, help in the garden, put the hoover round etc, but they don't do anything regularly. They both work shifts, so that doesn't help.

I used to be a bit of a domestic goddess but for various reasons have lost interest in that and the house isn't looking well cared for. That bothers me, but not enough to do anything about it!

It strikes me that DC probably should pay a bit more, just because that's what happens IRL and if they did I could employ a cleaner. Maybe fortnightly, we can keep on top of bathrooms, hoovering etc it's the "proper" cleaning that doesn't get done.

FWIW I could afford to employ a cleaner without putting the keep up, but feel this is a way to link their contribution to the cost of running the household and they should "feel" the COL itswim. Also, I've never actually spent any of their keep, it's all in a savings account to give back to them when they move out, although they don't know that.

If it is a reasonable idea, how much? Ds1 now earns significantly more than DS2, they were equal when the arrangement started.

So between them you're getting 400 a month whilst they're paying for their own food etc and you want to charge them more because you can't be arsed cleaning. No that's unfair

Yes put it up.

Just to cover costs not loads or you can ask if they will do assigned jobs weekly or pay for the cleaner.

I Think the cost of living is a good reason to put it, rather than paying for a cleaner. House insurance, food, gas/electricity prices have all increased.

Do they buy their own food, or just help to cook it? If the former, than they are contributing more. If the latter, then that’s part and parcel of living at home.

If you put it up to pay for a cleaner, then they may do less around the house, as they’re paying for someone to do it.

Even though they work shifts, maybe you should start being more proactive in gibbing them household chores to do. In my experience, young adults don’t voluntarily do housework.

Why aren't they doing the cleaning in their home too?

Ask them to do the bathroom weekly and take turns hoovering.

I'm not "getting" anything, it's all going into savings for them. Their rooms would cost c. £800 pm to rent elsewhere. I mostly do it so they recognise there is a cost to living, which they're not covering at all.

Food isn't the only cost to living here. They both love a really long shower, turn the heating up, spend hours on their powerful gaming computers etc etc

They do. When asked they hoover and clean the bathroom, but our shift patterns mean I'm not always there to ask and it's still me remembering/reminding.

I’d up DS1 and then up DS2 when he reaches the same age.

£200 each a month, heat, light, hot water, Internet etc. and all they have to do is empty the bins and run the hoover round occasionally?

The usual response, if they can get all that for £200 a month elsewhere they are welcome to leave. Their mother is not their skivvy and is entitled to downtime if she wants it.

Can you ask for a percentage of their income instead?

TBF they don't treat me like a skivvy, they are very willing when asked, they just don't see that things need doing or plan what needs doing and that's the bit that gets me down.

£50 a week is cheap for them so £200

Rooms are often £125/50 a
Week so 500/600

Def suggest putting it up to say 75 a week and even £100 a week as time goes by depending what they earn

25 each a week will be another £50 a week so £200 a month

If they didn't live with you then you would get 25% ct reduction

And children aren't cash cows to fund a lifestyle you want to have, nor are they skivvies to take over when you can longer be arsed... Presumably OP also uses electricity and gas, eats food and uses the internet. Saying its to demonstrate cost of living and then chucking the extra money at a cleaner doesn't demonstrate that. It shows oh hey MUM wants a cleaner so now we're paying for it.

Not only would I put up the keep but I would also start spending some of the money you are already getting to offset the costs of utilities. You can still save... say, half of what they give you, if you must.
But it is reasonable to expect that they won't do any cleaning once you employ some help. So consider a weekly cleaner instead of fortnightly.

Christ, I paid £250 a month nback in 2001 to my mum.

Whether you put their rent up or not, this needs to stop, if they lived in their own place they would soon have to remember to start cleaning stuff without you reminding them.

I would be having a family meeting and getting that sorted out first.

i charge my daughter (25) £200 a month. we are actually going on a big holiday in april for 4 weeks so i said not to pay us anything in april as i won’t be buying any food or giving her a lift to/from work - so she could use it for shopping etc. she actually said - well that won’t be enough! - well no it probably wont but doesn’t that just show how little £50 pw actually is. even if they are paying for their own food (mine doesn’t) i bet it’s op’s bread milk butter, washing powder etc they are using.

There is a big difference between utilities for one person, vs 3. Also, if sons felt so strongly about it they could have cleaned without OP reminding them. So it's not like she is the only one who can't be bothered.

The house needs cleaning. It's a cost in time if not money. It will mean they don't need to do it either.

There are three of us living here and the bills are way more than £600 pm (even without food and they are eating some of what I buy). They're not being over charged

FWIW I have by far the most demanding job of the three of us, which is the reason they get to live in the style they do.

Ask them!

would they prefer

option a: do more cleaning
option b: split the cost of a cleaner 3 ways.

that removes the “paying more keep” idea.

willing to bet they’d rather outsource.

Come back to me when you have adult children living at home😆 We all say it, but I don't know any parents of adult children who've achieved it.

I do have adult kids living at home.

It's my job, as a parent, to teach them how to live in the real world, so we all chip in, even my younger kids.

Set up a cleaning rota. Then say that we need to keep on top of this, otherwise I'll have to get a cleaner and you will have to pay your share. (a third, a quarter whatever).
If they manage it then no need for cleaner, if they don't then it's their own fault if they have to pay towards it as they had their warning.
I'd also be tempted to take at least a % of their board and use it towards the house. If that means they get less when they leave then so be it.

even if they are in minimum wage, their rent is really low. Parents don’t actually do their children any favors making them get used to living on such a dramatically looser budget than they would ever experience independently.

I would put their rent up, but proportional to income.

as to being their skivvy, that needs to stop. Hire a cleaner for sure, but they also need to be responsible for something in the house. At least be sure they are doing their own laundry and washing their own dishes.

They do "chip in", they chip in a lot, not just with cleaning. DS1 has just painted the bathroom and DS2 fitted an outdoor light this week. I don't want to be managing it all/making sure it happens.

If they don't like it I guess they could clean