To put DC's keep up to pay for a cleaner?

[Calculuses]

Two sons, early 20s, both have paid £50pw for the last 4 years. I haven't put it up because as they've got older they see to their own food more and sometimes shop and cook for me too.

Both are pretty good at "helping" when asked, they clean the bathroom, do the bins, help in the garden, put the hoover round etc, but they don't do anything regularly. They both work shifts, so that doesn't help.

I used to be a bit of a domestic goddess but for various reasons have lost interest in that and the house isn't looking well cared for. That bothers me, but not enough to do anything about it!

It strikes me that DC probably should pay a bit more, just because that's what happens IRL and if they did I could employ a cleaner. Maybe fortnightly, we can keep on top of bathrooms, hoovering etc it's the "proper" cleaning that doesn't get done.

FWIW I could afford to employ a cleaner without putting the keep up, but feel this is a way to link their contribution to the cost of running the household and they should "feel" the COL itswim. Also, I've never actually spent any of their keep, it's all in a savings account to give back to them when they move out, although they don't know that.

If it is a reasonable idea, how much? Ds1 now earns significantly more than DS2, they were equal when the arrangement started.

Or move out

When my children were younger I got so fed up with arguing about laying the table (all I got was "I did it 3 weeks ago last Friday") type of answer, we sat down and made a housework rota. Granted, they weren't in different shifts like your two are, but they had daily tasks, weekly tasks and they had to do it. Perhaps make a rota weekly, and they have to do it on what day suits their shifts. Pin it on the fridge so they can't say they didn't see it? That's what I did and it worked for years. Makes me laugh, as they are are now tidier than me!

I'm one of those parents who haven't brought my kids up properly either OP! I could make a rota but I'd have to remind everyone to complete it too.
Up their keep, get a weekly cleaner, enjoy your cleaner house.

Also, I've never actually spent any of their keep, it's all in a savings account to give back to them when they move out, although they don't know that.

Could you just use some of that money?

If they’re responsible and saving themselves I wouldn’t increase the amount that they pay when you don’t need it to live on.

I don’t really get the ‘it sound viscous them more to move out’ line. Of course if would, but that’s the benefit of living with parents got a while as an adult.

Surely you want them to save up as quick as possible so they can buy their own places and move out? I think you need to be stricter about division of tasks in the house.

You'll be managing the cleaner, setting out the jobs for them, making sure they turn up, sorting out pay and holidays etc anyway though.

That should say,

I don’t really get the ‘it would cost them more to move out’ line. Of course it would, but that’s the benefit of living with parents for a while as an adult.

This is why I've been taking money off them to save for them. They're not great at saving, the more they have the more they'll spend

You're joking surely?

Where do you live that only costs £200 a month.

I'll probably save the extra for them too. It just feels right that they feel like they're contributing, rather than just having the cleaning done iyswim

Nowhere but I wouldn't use money my kids earned to pay for a cleaner because I'd just lost the interest in keeping MY OWN HOME clean

Its not really that though is it? It's a contribution to the overall cost of running the place, which includes cleaning it.

You've got it backwards.

A mother isn't a skivvy for adult men and neither is she their cash cow to be taken advantage of because they don't pull their weight financially.

I would, I mean really where could you rent with bills all in for 50pw? 😂 It’s generally much easier to find and keep a cleaner for weekly cleans as most cleaners prefer it. A decent clean will be £30-£40 for a decent two hour clean. £70 a week still seems like a bargain. I was giving my mum £50 in the nineties!

Overall running costs don't typically include outsourcing the shit you can't be arsed with

She shouldn't be the only one cleaning it.

Why do people always set the bar so low for men.

OP has said herself that they do, one just decorated the bathroom. I'm not saying that they shouldn't help out, everyone in a house should take their part in cleaning and maintaining it, doesn't mean one person gets to unilaterally decide to outsource that and charge the others for it

Exactly. I paid more than that at 18.

It encourages independence and a sense of responsibility.

Absolutely this!!!

You mean, she’s putting £400 a month aside for them whilst she pays for their electric, gas, water, cleaning materials, increased council tax as no more single resident discount. Whilst they pay £200 a month each, instead of £1,000 a month.

And you think she is the problem here?!

Yes, that's exactly my point. I'm fed up of having to ask/remember/remind.

And I don't believe anyone has young adults who routinely remember "it's Tuesday, I must clean the bathroom and prioritise that over my shift work and my social life" or "stairs haven't been done for a while, I'll go and get the hoover" no matter how smug they want to be on MN 😆

Of course it’s fair. How much do you think a similar arrangement will cost them in the real world?

Not £200 a month I can tell you that.

They are free to move out if they don't like it.

But I suspect they won't because let's face it they have it made.

Is it not her sons’ home too? Then why don’t you think they should be keeping it clean too?

Yes, she can because it’s her house.