to think that telling 5 yo's if they do not behave they will go to the naughty school or home is child abuse?

[LeilaAndLeo]

My parents used to say this to me when I was a young child and DD aged 5 has just told me that Granny (my mum) has told her and my niece also 5 this. I also remember my Mother saying to me "if you don't eat your dinner, I will phone the homes" .

I really cannot get to grips with my parents generation at all. Who would say this to children?

I was at a friend's house recently and when her 2yr old DS wouldn't eat his lunch, she pointed to the patio doors and said that the bad man was watching and if he didn't eat, he'd come and take him away
She saw my expression, went a bit sheepish and said 'sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing'.

IMO, its all the same, white lies to try and get them to behave!
It didn't terrify me, it made me aware that my mum was pissed off.
I wouldn't say it if it reduced my ds to tears.
To me, its just like saying you need to behave for Santa to come.

I constantly remind my dd that she's never too old to go into care
She has my sense of humour though so tends to tell me she can't wait to put me in an old peoples home.
It depends how it's done, my dd KNOWS it#s a joke, however, you've made me realise people over hearing us might not!

I will read it in a while wiimii and report back.

lilacclaire, I can only think that if you were brought up this way so you think that it is acceptable. Santa, tooth fairy etc are nothing about keeping a DC in line, they are creating magic. I would never have told my DCs that Santa wouldn't visit if they weren't good! I always made sure that mine knew that a policeman or woman was the person to approach if they were lost. It worked well, when my DS got lost in Hamleys Toy Shop aged 5, he went straight to a security guard and told him he had lost me-it was announced on a loud speaker and we were reunited before we all got too upset, not something he would have done if he thought people in uniform were there to discipline him.
Putting the discipline on to someone else is merely lazy. The shop assistant is not there to tell your DC off, my DCs didn't touch things in shops when they were small because I didn't let them do it! I know an infant teacher who was phoned up one night by a parent who wanted her to tell her DD to go to bed!! Naturally she refused!!

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