to think that telling 5 yo's if they do not behave they will go to the naughty school or home is child abuse?

[LeilaAndLeo]

My parents used to say this to me when I was a young child and DD aged 5 has just told me that Granny (my mum) has told her and my niece also 5 this. I also remember my Mother saying to me "if you don't eat your dinner, I will phone the homes" .

I really cannot get to grips with my parents generation at all. Who would say this to children?

Hmmm...I do make dark threats about 'The Manager' coming to tell us all off if the DCs are being v disruptive in a restaurant.

I do think that calling 'The Police' or 'The Home' is going a bit far though.

I just remembered my MIL telling me that as a child she was told not to go into the woods as the "black man" would come and get her.

This was not meant in a racist way, btw, she had an image of a menancing man, dressed in dark clothes with a dark cloak/hat.

She is still nervous about being home alone because of that and she will be 75yo next month.

She said that her parents told her this because the woods were thought to be dangerous and the threat would prevent the children going in there.

My sisters used to tell me that my mam wasn't really my mam!

There was a woman who went to our chapel who crunched polos & brushed her hair in mass & they told me she was my mam!!

Every time I did something wrong they threaten to 'phone the "polo woman"!!!

It's cruel as it will make the child think their parents' love and support is conditional on them behaving themselves. It's not going to foster a feeling of security in the child is it? Children should always know that no matter how they may behave their parents will always be there for them.

I hate it when people use fear to discipline children.

Some children may see it as a bit of fun, others will believe it.

I think my dd would laugh, but ds1 would be really worried for a long time.

I think it's nasty, putting dark thoughts into their heads.

Oh how I wish there really was a place where I could send my children when I didn't want them.

Older children may see it as a bit of fun, if they haven't come across it when young.

Younger children - say 5 and under- will be worried and concerned about it. After all, to them their parents are always right, so unless it is blatantly said in an obviously teasing way it's not likely to do them any good.

You could try ebay foofi?

My eldest (6) told her sister (4) I was going to give her to the jumble sale! We had recently had a bit of a clear out and I think it gave her ideas! LOL

My (very odd) BIL says he remembers sitting in his parents' car, thinking he was going to be taken to Dr Barnardo's because of some misdemeanour.

There was a lot of thoughtlessness towards children back then. But we AGONISE about everything now!

Maybe our children will find a happy medium

my (evil0 stepfather continully threatened me with 'scattered homes'(some sort of childrens home i think? if his tea wasnt cooked his trousers ironed and the house clean (i was 11 and lost my mum that yer0 imo scattered homes might have been a darn sight more happy .....imo its very wrong and id never say it to my children

my mum used to say this to me. I used to go upstairs and pack! It wasn't child abuse imo, but I would never say this to my dds.

My mum used to play the children's home when me and my brother were exceptionally naughty. We live on Jersey, so this Haute De Le Gaurenne stuff has made her VERY sorry for even joking about it.
Horrible threats

*play the children's home card

When I was about 5, a much loved uncle was taken ill and hospitalised. When I asked Mum why, she replied jestingly "Lifting great heavy girls like you!"
Uncle Eric died three weeks later and I thought it was my fault for years.
Beware of what you say to kids....they are so trusting that they will take you at your word!

We were threatened with being put to the Mars training ship which used to be docked in the Tay and really DID take children. here
Parents and grandparents all over Tayside LOVED using this threat.

Yes I remember my mum threatening me with this too and I was blooody terrified...Am glad to see that maybe I wasn't the only child being threatened and it was maybe a very misinformed generation. Makes me feel slightly better about it.Would NEVER use this on my DCs.

I think it's ok if everyone knows it's a joke, and lol at 'you can't afford boarding school'

My mother used to say this to me and I wished she would send me away to a children's home instead of being stuck there with her. I never voiced this as I knew it would be met by a thump, though I remember asking her when she was calmer where this place was and what it was like there. She painted a picture involving cold showers and hard beds. Still better than home, I thought.

Vile thing to say to a child imo.

Well - it works. One mention of me phoning the jail to get them to come pick up my 4 year old and she suddenly decides that brushing her teeth isn't such a bad idea after all.

It's a horrible threat to use unless, as W says, everyone concerned knows it's a joke.

I'm sure she'll thank you for that in years to come nervousal

It might well 'work' in the short term, by terrifying the poor child and teaching them that their parents can't be trusted.

You are all a bunch of softies. I think children are more resilient than you give them credit for.

Sometimes I threaten DD (5) with sending her away, and she calls my bluff by replying "your joking, mummy" and I say "yes, but I am not happy with the way you are acting" and she understands that her behaviour is unacceptable. IT gets the point across.

To be honest she looks far more horrified when I say "If you do that again I'll take all your treats away for a week". (maybe it is because she knows this one will really happen)

I'm not a softy Athene.

I was a vulnerable child.

Now I'm an adult.

I disagree with you entirely.