Fallout with MIL over a tricycle

[Cam007]

My MIL mentioned that she wanted to buy my 11 month old baby a tricycle during a stroll in the park. I expressed safety concerns due to my own past experiences as child (I had a bad accident on a tricycle when I was a toddler). I let her know that me and my husband would need to look at tricycle reviews and their level of safety to choose the most appropriate one and that we won’t be able use it until 18 months. The day before his 1 st birthday my MIL tells us that she has bought his birthday present and it’s a tricycle. I replied that we had talked about this and my MIL shucked. The next day our son is presented with a wrapped box containing said tricycle. My husband and I decided not to open the box because we were unhappy that she had gone against our wishes. The next day my husband called his mum to tell her that we weren’t happy about the situation and that we felt that she had undermined our parenting. She got upset and hang up on my husband. Are we being unreasonable or should we accepted the gift and not made an issue out of it?

Obvious questions for me:
What was this awful accident on a tricycle you had as a kid?! We need details!
Would you be this precious if your mum did the same (I’m going to guess at no)?
Do you know how to use Google as research seems like an overly complicated thing from your perspective?!
Do you create this much drama over everything?! You sort of have a point but it’s so overblown it’s laughable.

Again, why should OP research something six months in advance when MIL can very easily buy something else or asked OP and her son for ideas if that was her only one? Where does it say it was a push-along tricycle?

The child would more likely be able to ride it at his second birthday than now if it is a regular tricycle that they have to pedal on their own.

OMFG !!!!!!

Why would MIL risk getting slated for not get the LO a BIRTHDAY present on their birthday?

She was probably thinking they'll use it in summer ☀️ in a few months not 6mths.

I really don't think MIL is completely in the wrong.

It’s a tricycle not a set of kitchen knives.

Just because you had a bad experience with one doesn’t mean your child will.

its no different to a push bike, scooter, roller blades etc. Yes there is minor risk involved but you can’t wrap your child in cotton wool.

Why would MIL risk getting slated for not get the LO a BIRTHDAY present on their birthday?

Nothing stopped MIL from buying something else after she was told not once but TWICE, no and she still proceeded to gift it anyway. There is other gifts than a tricycle for a one year old.

I don’t think it was wrong for the OP AND her DH to have said no and her DH to explain to his mum how they felt about her actions.

You don’t need to be grateful, just polite and not so bloody pompous about undermining your parenting. Surely most of us get multiple presents that we don’t want. We just deal with it!

you need help! Your reactions are not normal. what else will DS not be allowed to do if you perceive a tricycle as a death trap???

And it reads like you need to learn reading comprehension.

Where does it say OP and her DH will never allow their son to have a tricycle? She literally says not until he is at least 18 months.

Funny how many posters are ignoring that MIL’s son called her, not OP or that he also agreed with his wife or do some believe that her DH couldn’t possibly agree with OP and is doing so under duress.

For him to actually call his mum reads to me that there may be a backstory and his mum has form for this.

@Cam007 are you coming back to your thread?

@Cam007
I think you are over-reacting? You discussed with MIL that you had safety concerns about a tricycle and would want one with a high safety rating and your DC would not start using it until 18 mos old. You did not say “do not buy a tricycle”

MIL has bought a tricycle for their 1st birthday. I would look up the one she had bought and see if it is one with a high safety rating. I would then put the box aside until my DC were 18 mos old, thanking MIL for the lovely present and telling my DC that is a present for when you are a bit bigger and to try in the summer time.

Your DC’s next birthday isn’t until 24mos old, so MIL likely thought you would not want him to miss out on 6 months of enjoyment by having to wait for his 2nd birthday.

This is not really an issue to fall out over or accuse a GP of undermining parenting imho.

Their concerns were simply it has to be a safe tricycle and DC has to be 18mo old. The MIL hasn’t done anything to undermine that as far as we know. If the OP had written she looked the tricycle up and it’s under a consumer recall due to kids losing fingers and toes and is a death trap, then she’d have a point.

The tricycle is irrelevant it's more the fact you said no and she did it anyway.

Maybe "Thank you mil" wouldn't have gone a miss you sound very ungrateful yabu

Jesus, when did parents become so precious

That was silly of her and rude of you

What a palava. You need your land that helicopter OP

It’s a present. Accept with good grace, then supervise its use.

You are not being unreasonable. You have been entirely reasonable explaining your concerns, the reasons, your expectations and she has ridden roughshod over that, if bored you and thought she would just get her own way. I hope she learns a lesson from this and I think you and your husband need to pick it up again with her, not just let her shut it down by putting the phone down. Just say to her I understand you were upset/annoyed but we, quite fairly, were very clear about our expectations and why regarding the tricycle. Our concerns have not changed. In future please do not ignore our wishes in this way" if she weeps and wails or kicks off then just say I'm sorry you are upset but my request still stands. And leave!

Jeepers, it’s a ruddy tricycle. Going to struggle to come a cropper on that eh?!! My boys were zipping around parks and down the prom on balance bikes around the 18-20 month mark. They are great for motor skills and strengthening their muscles, building resilience etc. Granny probably thought she’s successfully raised a child to adulthood and knew it would be a good present, which it is! Safety checks? She’s bought a tricycle not a bleeding motorcycle. Very petty indeed. Need to lighten up.

I think a bad accident on a trike is rare so I do think your worries here may be a bit OTT, but the fact is you told her you had made that decision and she still chose to ignore it so YANBU to be cross about that.
PP said it is rude not to open a gift, I'd say it is even ruder to buy one you know without a doubt that the parents don't want the child to have!

It’s not about the trike . It’s about her seemingly going out of her way to undermine you. Pretty impressed with your husband - him speaking will have had more of an effect I suspect. Wishing you all the best .

You sound a bit controlling.

I think you could have handled the whole situation better BUT your MIL would have been better just accepting your concerns and choosing another gift.

Instead she chose to ignore your boundaries and escalate things - and then put the phone down when called out on that. Over a tricycle. Emotionally immature behaviour.

You’re definitely being PFB about this but MIL should have listened because you’re the parent.