Fallout with MIL over a tricycle

[Cam007]

My MIL mentioned that she wanted to buy my 11 month old baby a tricycle during a stroll in the park. I expressed safety concerns due to my own past experiences as child (I had a bad accident on a tricycle when I was a toddler). I let her know that me and my husband would need to look at tricycle reviews and their level of safety to choose the most appropriate one and that we won’t be able use it until 18 months. The day before his 1 st birthday my MIL tells us that she has bought his birthday present and it’s a tricycle. I replied that we had talked about this and my MIL shucked. The next day our son is presented with a wrapped box containing said tricycle. My husband and I decided not to open the box because we were unhappy that she had gone against our wishes. The next day my husband called his mum to tell her that we weren’t happy about the situation and that we felt that she had undermined our parenting. She got upset and hang up on my husband. Are we being unreasonable or should we accepted the gift and not made an issue out of it?

@YireosDodeAver She was 4yrs old and with her mother and aunt when it happened. She was supervised.

Bin it? How incredibly wasteful. If you don't want it, give it to charity.

What ‘stupid prize’ did she win?

If I ask a parent about getting a gift for their child and am told no, I RESPECT that.

I don’t decide that their reasoning is stupid and do as I please anyway.

MIL was wrong. It’s simply not her place to override the parents. Not her kid, not her place. It’s disrespectful, imo.

You're ridiculously OTT and MIL decided to break the rule. Neither are helpful attitudes really.

I once cut my finger badly on a knife - so should I never cook again? Or encourage my children to cook? OP you are being precious. All children love bikes and tricycles. Get him a helmet and pipe down.

Same here @AttaThat

Ha. Yes. My mum's thing was violin. She said she had vivid memories of her brother endlessly practicing (badly) and how the sound went through her. We were not allowed to learn it growing up.

You are overdramatic over a tricycle. Not opening a present is rude.
Should have bloody listened then, shouldn't she.
It's not the fact "oh it's over a tricycle" - it's the deliberately not listening, the undermining of parenting decisions and doing it anyway.
That's not rude?!
That kind of stuff can only get constant if you ignore it.
Op, YANBU.

You sound like a lovely granny, they're lucky to have you 🙂
I'm the same as if mine ever have kids, I know how it feels to be constantly undermined so I'm very conscious of not trying to be interfering, I hope I'll be lovely too 😁

@OldTinHat that's not the point. Effective supervision of a young child on a trike would include making sure they weren't at the top of a hill or otherwise using the trike in a way that could lead to serious accident/injury. This clearly didn't happen. A 4 year old supervised effectively in an appropriate location can use a trike safely. The fact that a bad accident can happen when these conditions aren't met does not disprove the truth of this statement.

😂
this.

It's not silly to research the safety of a tricycle! We (very briefly!) had one that would tip over every time you turned the front wheel, the balance was off in some way.
Anyway, that is not the point here, what else can the MIL override if she feels like it? Lollipops? Giagantic toys for the small sitting-room? Film choices?
It doesn't matter what "most" people chose to do for a given subject, that's up to the parents. And in what world do you just say thank you when someone does something they've been clearly asked not to do? I would have accepted it with a smile if the grand-parent didn't know the parents didn't want the thing and just turned up at christmas thinking it was a good idea, but no way if they've been told and just do it anyway!

First response nails it yet again 😂

How is it “poor MiL” or even “poor kid”?

OP explained to MiL before MiL went out and bought it anyway. OP said they weren’t going to allow him to have one until he was older, not that he can’t have one at all.

Why couldn’t MIL simply respect OP and her son and either get another gift and/or offer to buy one that they think is all right for their son in six months time. That would have been great for both sides. MIL would have gotten the tricycle, parents would have been happy knowing it was one fit and safe for their child, and child gets a tricycle.

should we accepted the gift and not made an issue out of it?

Yes, this is EXACTLY what you should have done.

If you do that though you're just opening the door for years of going against everything you say and undermining parental decisions
It's really not on to go ahead and do something anyway even if you know the parents aren't on board.
It's not your place to be like "oh I'll get a trike anyway even if you have concerns." 🙄
Overbearing and pushy and just causes problems.

@paintedorpapered
Anyway, that is not the point here, what else can the MIL override if she feels like it? Lollipops? Giagantic toys for the small sitting-room? Film choices?
It doesn't matter what "most" people chose to do for a given subject, that's up to the parents. And in what world do you just say thank you when someone does something they've been clearly asked not to do?

Exactly!

YANBU OP

Grandparent says shall i buy x, y, z

Parents say no thanks.

Grandparent does it anyway.

Parents are supposed to say thanks.

??

Not in my world.
I'm a Grandparent AND my youngest child is still only 9. If my inlaws wanted to buy youngest something and i said no ta - i'd expect them to respect that.

@thefallen "Bin it? How incredibly wasteful. If you don't want it, give it to charity."

Yes I suppose it is wasteful. It's not the OPs responsibility to find a good home for it though so the environmentally responsible thing to do in this case then is to hand it back to the person who gave it to them.

This CANNOT be a serious post?

Get a grip - your child will fall over, fall off bikes etc - it's part of their childhood and how they learn 🤦‍♀️🤣

Hope my sons don’t marry women like this!

2minutemedicine
www.
plenty it seems enough for its own study

What a joyless, wound up too tight, mardy arsed fun sponge you are OP.

I'm surprised at these responses. It doesn't matter if the OP is reasonable or not about the tricyle: she and her husband said no and MIL just ignored it. Why is that ok? Their 'no' should have been enough.