Is she being too precious? (Child’s teeth)

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I have a friend, we have children of a similar age (7), her child has autism and requires a bit more help from her whereas mine doesn’t and is pretty independent.

I have noticed that she is very OTT regarding her child’s dental routine - she still helps her child to brush their teeth, I asked her about this as mine as been doing it independently for years now, and she said it’s to ensure that the backs of the teeth are brushed properly etc. She also only really offers water or milk for her child to drink, only the occasional juice and once in a blue moon a soft pop drink. She also doesn’t allow a lot of sweets which I’m also the same so I agree with that part. She also flosses the ‘adult teeth’ which I find utterly bizarre.

She will also make a big deal if they’ve been to the dentist, almost bragging, especially when the dentist said that her child’s teeth was “the best they’ve seen in a while” and “in perfect condition”. I know that her mum was pretty neglectful in terms of teaching them to brush properly when she was younger and as a result she’s had a lot of dental issues and confidence issues, so she just says she doesn’t want her daughter going through the same thing…

Is this pretty normal behaviour? I mean obviously I care about my child’s teeth but I’m not obsessive like this…

Sounds tiring but if it works for her I don't see an issue

Our dentist says teeth should be brushed by a parent until 8 then supervised until 10.

Sadly no, it’s not normal, but it should be, if all parents were like this - dentists wouldn’t have much work!

Good for them!

I honestly don't think she's being obsessive. She is encouraging a healthy oral routine and healthy drinks.
The state of children's teeth in the UK is terrible with children having to undergo extractions for milk teeth.
I think your friend is being wholly sensible.

This doesn't seem obsessive.

Adults should be helping kids brush at that age, and flossing is an important habit.

Most adults don't do proper dental care on their own teeth.

I completely get that, as I have known people on the other side of the spectrum whose young children were having teeth taken out because they were rotting… but surely this could potentially cause a complex?

Like if the child asks for something sweet when we are out at softplay or a cafe etc her mum will remind her that eating loads of sweet stuff will cause cavities and ruin her teeth… is that creating a complex?

Sounds like a good parenting. From the age of 7 years old children should start brushing their own teeth but under close supervision. If her child isn’t ready to do properly yet then the Mum should still be doing it.

I brush my DD7s teeth. She's possibly autistic, waiting for assessment, but that's not why. I've had lots of issues with my own teeth and to me, it's so important that teeth are looked after, I'd rather do it myself knowing they're being cleaned well. I dont really care if its judged as over the top.

No she sounds great! Well done to your friend!! This is what we do- proper care of teeth is important and not enough parents do this nowadays- I’m a teacher and see it for myself in the classroom.

I don't think it'll create a complex since she does occasionally get treats. Plus kids don't need to be drinking pop.

If anything it'll hopefully create healthy habits in diet and oral hygiene.

You said your kids have been brushing their own teeth for years which is not recommended at that age.

I used to work for dentists writing research articles and I highly recommend you start brushing their teeth with them and flossing.

They sell kids flossing sticks for this reason.

Well if you're going to be extreme about something it's a very good thing to be extreme about. I speak as someone whose parents were very 'relaxed' about dental hygiene with loads of fillings and extractions :( I'm so ashamed of my teeth. I'm a bit neurotic about my kids' teeth as a consequence, and certainly I'll still be brushing them for them until they're a good bit older (currently 7 and 3).

Good for her (except the excessive bragging bit.. although she is prob just happy her commitment/work is reflected in the condition of DCs teeth)

Proper dental care is a gift.

We will be brushing teeth to 7/8, supervising to 11 and checking its done to 14/15.

Both dh and i have had extensive avoidable dental work. Its painful, inconvenient and cost thousands.

Given the state of dentistry in the UK I'd say your friend will definitely have the last laugh and her child will be significantly better off as a result.

I like sweets but there's no denying that sweet foods are linked to tooth decay.

I think perhaps you should be taking a bit more care of your children's teeth, rather than judging a mother who is following advice from dentists.

My DC is 9 and the majority of the time, either DH or I brush her teeth. She can do it herself but she has weakened enamel on her back teeth (dentist thinks it could have been caused by me being ill while pregnant) so we are particularly careful with them.

Create a complex about what? Eating healthily and taking good care of teeth? if only a few more parents created that complex...

Your 7 year old has been brushing their own teeth for years? That's definitely not good dental practice, no way would my five year old do a thorough enough job. Our dentist says to brush until 8, supervise until ten. There's also no reason for 7 year olds to be drinking fizzy drinks or having sweets when they go to soft play. Think about the habits you're forming for them

I mean, doesn't sound over the top to me?
Genetics also play a big part in teeth health, some people can get away with minor neglect and have perfect teeth, others can do everything perfectly and still have loads of problems. Has she made more comments than what you've already mentioned?

I didn’t know this about flossing. Thank you

No need to judge or be defensive OP. She's doing what all parents should be doing: supervising brushing, flossing regularly (which is not "utterly bizarre"), minimising juices and sugars, and taking pride in good dental health.

Poor dental hygiene can lead to all sorts of health issues and is a persistent problem in this country (and others).

I think you are being unreasonable.

Dental hygiene is so so important. Flossing makes a massive difference and now those adult teeth are in they MUST be flossed daily. There's definitely a technique and the sooner your child masters this the better.

Fizzy pop - just shit sugar syrup which our bodies don't need. If her child doesn't have a taste for it what's the problem? My DD now 15 has only in the last few years started having the occasional Dr Pepper and that's going to be knocked on the head very soon as braces are incoming. I think in many cases the awful habit of fizzy pop is one handed down from parents and can be avoided. I mean, who the fuck needs cola with their breakfast, for example?

Clearly her own parents neglect has possibly made her over cautious but to be honest from how your post reads I suspect it's not so much she's bragging as perhaps you feel you could be doing more?

But seriously OP. This is one area of parenting I don't think we can be too over zealous in. My mum and dad were quite casual about our dental care as kids and if I could go back and change things I wish hugely I'd taken better care of mine when I was much younger.

I brushed my children's teeth every evening, on advice of my dentist, until they were 10! They brushed themselves in the morning.

It doesn't sound over the top to me, children brushing with parental help is advised up to age 7 or 8 as they struggle with the dexterity to do their full mouths effectively. I don't think the drinks or her taking stock of sugar is a concern, I don't think a young child should be having fizzy drinks regularly at that age and occasional treat perhaps. I think she sounds diligent and wants to build great lifelong habits that keep her daughters body health, not really sure what your problem is tbh.

It sounds like good parenting to me. What complex? An awareness of the effect of excess sugar on teeth? That sounds like a good 'complex' to me, plus you said in your OP you have a similar approach to sweets so 🤷