Is she being too precious? (Child’s teeth)

[IcedCoffee6383]

I have a friend, we have children of a similar age (7), her child has autism and requires a bit more help from her whereas mine doesn’t and is pretty independent.

I have noticed that she is very OTT regarding her child’s dental routine - she still helps her child to brush their teeth, I asked her about this as mine as been doing it independently for years now, and she said it’s to ensure that the backs of the teeth are brushed properly etc. She also only really offers water or milk for her child to drink, only the occasional juice and once in a blue moon a soft pop drink. She also doesn’t allow a lot of sweets which I’m also the same so I agree with that part. She also flosses the ‘adult teeth’ which I find utterly bizarre.

She will also make a big deal if they’ve been to the dentist, almost bragging, especially when the dentist said that her child’s teeth was “the best they’ve seen in a while” and “in perfect condition”. I know that her mum was pretty neglectful in terms of teaching them to brush properly when she was younger and as a result she’s had a lot of dental issues and confidence issues, so she just says she doesn’t want her daughter going through the same thing…

Is this pretty normal behaviour? I mean obviously I care about my child’s teeth but I’m not obsessive like this…

As a teacher, I've had training to brush the children's teeth. The trainer (a former dental hygenist) said children shouldn't brush their own teeth until they can join their handwriting or tie their own shoelaces...

There should also be an hour/hour and a half between sweet things.

I brushed my sons teeth at night until he was 11, he did the half-arsed attempt himself in a morning. I also flossed his teeth for him from as soon as he had teeth that were next to each other in his mouth and now he does it himself. I examine his teeth every so often even now he's almost 13 because I can't stand poor dental hygiene and once your teeth are gone, they're gone. He's never had an extraction and he's never had a filling. I don't think she's over the top, I think she's a good mum.

7 year olds shouldn't ever be drinking fizzy drinks or other synthetic crap.

My kids start their own teeth and we "finish" to make sure they've got everything. Age 7 and 9.

Fizzy drinks are a no. And my eldest actively reminds everyone how unhealthy they are. That's come from school. Water only. I don't even let juice. They get juice at Nana's once every few months.

Honestly I supervised all three of mine until well after 7, maybe 10ish? They were all terrible toothbrush avoiders.

We only get the one set of adult teeth, I don't think it's a bad thing to be vigilant. Esp as children can be slapdash. It doesn't matter so much for washing and other stuff where you won't lose a tooth and have pain!

My boys 6yrs old and I go over his teeth once he's done them. To make sure they are done properly. He also only drinks water (I'm lucky he dsnt like juice but he wouldn't be having a lot if he did) and certainly no fizzy juice. He dnt allow lots a sweets etc. and I like to ensure his teeth are checked every 6months. So I thinks it's all normal.

That sounds perfect. The stuff the wrecks teeth is an occasional treat and not an everyday thing or totally forbidden. It’s normal to help a 7 year old brush their teeth. At that age I’d be getting them to start and talk them through good technique and then I’d ´check’ they’d done a good job.

In the nicest possible way, could you see your friend posting this….
my friend does not supervise her 7 year old brushing teeth, and hasn’t done for a few years. She also doesn’t encourage flossing.
she encourages drinking juice and allows soft drinks, and doesn’t teach the consequences of eating too many sweets.
im worried about her child’s oral hygiene- is she setting them up for a mouthful of cavities, and potential inflammation due to bad dental hygiene?

im with your friend on this…. Maybe instead of being jiffy there is something to learn from this?

I don't think it's too excessive what she is doing. Water/milk is fine with occasional juice/pop. Limiting sweets is also not a bad thing - I limit them for my 10 year old son.

My son can brush his own teeth but I supervise to make sure he does them properly as he would just rush otherwise.

Thankfully, his teeth are good.

My parents never took us to the dentist - I was 18 before I went! I had a lot of plaque build up in places and staining. Thankfully it was removed and my teeth aren't too bad - only one filling. I am very nervous of the dentist though but make myself go with DS every 6 months.

Also with autistic patients it’s not so easy just to go in a dental chair and get work done can be very difficult for them so extra vigilance is a good thing

Sounds like you're not being obsessive enough to be honest. Maybe that's your issue with it.

You are supposed to supervise brushing until at least 7.

Judging by the dental presentation I sat through today, she’s right and majority of parents are wrong.

We brush my 6 years old teeth twice a day and we floss every other day as both my DD hate it. We go to the dentist every 4 months.

Teeth are one of the biggest indicators of health. Bad teeth is adulthood can cause MANY problems.

You could say I'm obsessive about my autistic 17 yr olds teeth. Have you ever experienced an autistic kid with toothache. No fucking thankyou.

You don't sound that great with your own kids oral health. Maybe pay more attention to your own garden.

Your friend is right and you are wrong

I think the most worrying thing for your child is the fact that flossing adult teeth is bizarre? Why is cleaning your child's adult teeth, which they will need till they die bizarre? With all due respect you obviously don't care about your child's teeth

She is doing all the right things. Children do not have the dexterity to brush their back teeth till 9-10, and many will need help past this. Parents should be brushing their children's teeth at this age.

At 7 children should not be drinking anything else but water and milk between mealtimes. And they do need to know that lots of sugary treats will cause tooth decay

At 7, with the added complication of autism she will likely struggle to have fillings under LA. If she develops decay she is at high risk of developing severe pain and infection and unlike an adult will like need a general anaesthetic to sort, wait lists in the UK right now are years long. Tooth decay in a 7yo is not easy to deal with. I don't understand why you are mocking a parent trying their best to prevent pain in their child?

As I said above the consequence of dental decay in an autistic 7yo is not a filling, its a large abscess resulting in hospital admission and sepsis risk. Severe pain that they cannot manage

Teeth are the biggest cause of hospital admissions for children in the UK, and the biggest cause for a general anaesthetic. Day in day out I see children with large infections and parents who didn't know they had to brush their child's teeth, didn't think the amount of sugar their child was eating was a problem. Almost all of these admissions are entirely preventable

Who needs enemies when there are friends who will come on mumsnet to slag off your perfectly good parent practices You sound mean and also bit lax in the dental hygiene department OP, kids are shit at brushing their teeth.