To avoid this restaurant?

[BobbyBiscuits]

Took my mum for a family meal for the first time in a few months. She hadn't been well but felt strong enough to go in a taxi to this restaurant. We've been using this place for large and small group meals for about 7 years.
Everything was nice, we paid the bill and left an extra tip. There were 10 of us and mum was older than the others by 10 years plus.
While we were chatting, the manager interrupted and said to my mum
'how old are you?' she looked embarrassed so I jovially bit firmly said 'you know it's impolite to ask a lady's age.. haha'
I expected him to leave it but instead he responded with..
'oh, it's because my colleague thought you were at least 95' while chuckling.

She was mortified as was I. I said 'why did you say that, it's really rude?'

He mumbled sorry and then went back to his colleagues and burst out laughing.
Moments earlier he was simpering over my male cousin, but did he feel the need to comment on his age? Course not.

Mum is so upset a restaurant manager would come up to her and say this. She has not been out for months and feels her confidence knocked. She looked great and is in her early 80s.

Should we just boycott it? The rest of my family and wider group will still go I think.

Or contact the guy and ask for a proper apology, explaining taking about women's ages is rude again?

Or just forget it and hope he doesn't do it again.

Any opinions valued!

I wouldn’t just be avoiding, I’d be writing a complaint and leaving a terrible review everywhere I could find.

What an unbelievably cunty thing for him to have done.

I think that is worth a Tripadvisor review. And a boycott yes.

That's really horrible for your poor mum. I own a few restaurants and if any if my staff had done this, I would want to know. They certainly would get a warning if it was the first time. 1 it's bloody rude and 2 guests are supposed to feel welcome and special.

I would email them and complain.

I’d be furious at that, I’d write a shit review and formally complain to the restaurant, that’s not ok.

I would have asked for the whole meal free

I wouldn't come at it from a 'woman's age' thing. It would also be an inappropriate way to treat a man. It's just an inappropriate way to talk to customers, as it's something most people would find unpleasant and at best awkward.

Just the food then. They ruined the atmosphere

I think I’d phone and let him know how upsetting, nasty and inappropriate that was. Then I’d explain that you’ll never return and you will never recommend the restaurant because of his appalling behaviour. Then forget it: he’s a cunt, end of.

What a horrible thing to say, wtf is wrong with some people

What a horroble person.

Write to the manager and ask that the tip you left be divided between other staff and excluding the insulting bastard. Detail what he said and let them know you won't be returning until you have a written apology from the person who was so offensive.

That was so unkind. Your poor mum.

Do write and complain.

Leave a review on Google and send an email/letter. It's horrible. I hope they apologise to you

Don’t make it a women thing, it’s just rude regardless of the person’s sex.

Don’t make it an attempt to get money off either (appreciate this is a previous poster not the OP who suggested this)

However, this is so rude, I would email the restaurant to complain and depending on their response leave review on Trip Advisor. I am angry on your mum’s behalf.

Bad review everywhere you can.. protect the self esteem of other would be customers. Terrible customer service and a very unpleasant comment as a human being.

Ugh. He sounds horrible.

I was once devastated in my 20s when I made a real effort for a Christmas party at a "naice" Italian restaurant and the waiter spent the whole night insisting I looked like a very unattractive celebrity who was being mocked constantly in the press at the time for her appearance. I was really really hurt, he wouldn't let it drop and I was the only girl he kept commenting on. He also kept doing this thing of handing menus and taking orders from me last (and picking my gorgeous mate who I was sat right next to first then skipping over me).

I never ever went back there. Definitely boycott it. Your poor mum. That's a disgusting way to treat someone. Trip Advisor, Facebook AND Google review for that nasty piece of work writing exactly what you did here!

I would email and complain . If you mum had been unwell and feeling a bit fragile but had made an effort for going out for the meal it would be really upsetting to be told she looked more than ten years older then her actual age . It's so rude and inappropriate but in this case could really knock her confidence.

Then review saying that the staff were rude and not go there again .

Absolutely awful behaviour. No way would I let it go. I would try and find the owner and have it out with him. Your poor mother does not deserve that treatment.

It’s the walking back to his staff and all bursting out laughing that does it for me. That’s proper high school bullying nonsense; to come over, be really rude and then go back to his staff and all laugh over if? It just smacks of an idiot manager trying to get all pally with younger staff and play the lad and all that stupid boyish nonsense. They just sound like idiots in a playground. No customer in any circumstance should ever have to watch staff gather round and laugh about them, especially after being spoken to in such an obnoxious manner. I think I’d be trying to contact the owners or other managers to let them know what the customer service is like when that manager is left in charge.

Yes, I think contacting them or going in there to complain would be more important. Then boycott depending on how they react. And not from the “it’s rude to ask a woman’s age” angle - that makes women seem like delicate sensitive flowers. But declaring that someone quite old looks “at least 95” - what were they thinking? Maybe, perhaps they were thinking “wow she’s very old, how cool” in some screwed up way - like people get celebrated when they’re 100. But they can’t have thought it through at all - clearly there was a very good chance they’d be over guessing the age by a long way.

Id be saying exactly what you said here. Your mum is in her 80’s and was just feeling better enough for the first time to go out. She has been ill. They have hugely shaken her confidence.

It is a woman thing though. These sexist pig men don’t behave this way to other men.

So please don’t dismiss the sexist element.

I would write a letter / e mail to the owner saying what happened, that your Num was extremely upset and that it ruined the night for all of you.

I would do this, asking for an apology and a response, before going to social media.

Awful behaviour . Who the hell did those sniggering fuckwits think they were?

That's so horrible! Definitely complain and leave a detailed Tripadvisor review.
Hope your mum is OK.

Absolutely complain and also let everyone know maybe on your local fb page or similar. That is disgusting behaviour by the employee. I just can’t understand why some asshole would behave like that.

I would definitely complain, and include his name or description.

I probably wouldn't go back, but if I did, I'd give the jerk the coldest shoulder possible. Possibly stare at him quizzically and then whisper to the others at my table. Petty, but satisfying to give him a small taste of his own medicine.