To avoid this restaurant?

[BobbyBiscuits]

Took my mum for a family meal for the first time in a few months. She hadn't been well but felt strong enough to go in a taxi to this restaurant. We've been using this place for large and small group meals for about 7 years.
Everything was nice, we paid the bill and left an extra tip. There were 10 of us and mum was older than the others by 10 years plus.
While we were chatting, the manager interrupted and said to my mum
'how old are you?' she looked embarrassed so I jovially bit firmly said 'you know it's impolite to ask a lady's age.. haha'
I expected him to leave it but instead he responded with..
'oh, it's because my colleague thought you were at least 95' while chuckling.

She was mortified as was I. I said 'why did you say that, it's really rude?'

He mumbled sorry and then went back to his colleagues and burst out laughing.
Moments earlier he was simpering over my male cousin, but did he feel the need to comment on his age? Course not.

Mum is so upset a restaurant manager would come up to her and say this. She has not been out for months and feels her confidence knocked. She looked great and is in her early 80s.

Should we just boycott it? The rest of my family and wider group will still go I think.

Or contact the guy and ask for a proper apology, explaining taking about women's ages is rude again?

Or just forget it and hope he doesn't do it again.

Any opinions valued!

That's exactly how I feel and why I won't name or play some silly guessing games in which numerous female celebs are mentioned and then I guess "re-slated" off the back of this thread!

Wish I'd never mentioned my experience at all now.

I'd leave a detailed review on every site possible and never go back, the bloke who came over and asked your mum how old she was and laughed at you is a fucking prick.

This is awful and deserves a bad review on every platform you can find.

You should also complain to the highest person you can that cares and ensure you and your poor Mum receive an apology.

What a little prick!!

What a horrible horrible man. Your poor mum.

Everything was nice, we paid the bill and left an extra tip.

So did the age conversation come after you paid then?

If this was Me I would go on Companies House and find the owner of this Restaurant and Inform them of your Experience I doubt they know whats going on .
None of My staff or Managers would Ever say this to a Guest its Extremely Rude and totally Uncalled for also Hurtful ,
I would be posting on Trip advisor to warn others of this and also get friends to do the same only when there ratings are effected will they Understand a Manager should Know better ,I cannot believe this we all strive for the Perfect Guest experience,

I lived in Greece a long time ago and the grandmother of dd's friend told me I was the fattest English person she'd ever met! I wasn't even that overweight and another time a greek 'friend' asked if I was pregnant - I wasn't!

Please tell me that you've just made up this awful story!

Taking you at your word, it was outrageous behaviour on this manager's part.

Out of interest, you say it could be cultural - what culture would it be? Revering older age is one thing, but going away and sniggering is another.

I've had a few experiences of weird and rude waiters in the last year or so, after decades of nothing of the sort. One lad on serving dh his veggie burger said 'I think that looks like dog food' and went on further to say 'sorry I'm just really honest' - bizarre as it just looked like a normal veggie burger! Also had a snippy ' was that vegan enough for you?' at the end of a meal when dh had dared to ask if something had butter in beforehand. Very weird, I wonder if lockdown has messed with people's social skills! I'd certainly be complaining to the restaurant if I were you, awful behaviour towards your dm

Personally, I'd make a complaint to his face and a written complaint to his boss. What an arse hole! I'd also write it all over Facebook, Instagram (tag them in it) and trip advisor. I personally wouldn't go back either. Your poor mum! 😔

What a rude bastard

@TinkerTiger yeah, it was after we'd paid. We were highly complimentary of the food and service, paid the tip plus extra.

As for the cultural thing, I've never known anyone from this culture or any other to say things like that so it's probably just him being weird and rude. Unsure if intentional or not but he needs to not do it again!

I'd be contacting the local paper to shame them!

A lot of people are saying this sort of thing on here but honestly if my mum had been embarrassed by this issue, the last thing I’d want to be doing is go sad face to the papers about it - that could be mortifying for her.

I wonder if him and his sniggering mates had had some kind of bet to see if he could insult someone?

Either way it’s completely out of order. I would leave a very honest review on every review site and single him out especially. You could still mention that food is good - if the chefs are ok, the entire staff should not be slated for the dick working in front of house.

I had this at Magenta - the restaurant in Kings Cross. The Waiter followed me mocking my walk and doing a fake limp. I complained and was told the managers watched the CCTV and I was wrong and mistaken. It shut down recently, insulting someone who's just paid £50 for lunch and left a £10 tip is not good service, ever.

Were these restaurant workers foreign or British?

I wonder if they come from a different culture.

I can't believe they'd even ask your Mum that question, and then to follow it up with a nasty comment too!

Write a complaint. Write an online review.
Agism is disgusting and ILLEGAL... age is a protected characteristic just like race, sexuality etc...

Write them a bad review on Tripadvisor and any other relevant forum.

complain to the restaurant. Get your money back

Never go again and warn anyone else off going

appalling behaviour

the place needs shutting down

No way.
I'd say "wtf do you ask?"

I wouldn't use the restaurant again and I'd leave a review explaining why.

It doesn't matter if your mum looks over 100 or 21, there is no excuse for making an insulting comment based on her appearance or anything else.

I'd also email the manager and explain why I wasn't coming to their restaurant again.

There are plenty of other good restaurants.

Support the ones with good food and good service.

1. I would leave a negative 2 star review saying the manager was rude and the staff laughed loudly at an elderly customer which you and all your group found unprofessional/unkind, so you won't be returning.

That way it's not too specific and won't get dismissed as personal.

1. Find out who owns the place and write to them cc'ing him in saying would like to meet f2f for an apology.

They can absolutely fuck off. I wouldn't go back there again. Rude twats.

I spoke to her about it today. She was saying that maybe it was unusual for him to see elderly people looking healthy-ish and being out and about. Like maybe it's such a novelty to him? He could have only just moved to the country? I know some older people almost boast about their age, like a badge of honour. But that should come from them, not by being questioned.

She was pleased I told him he was rude. And thinks I should reiterate than in our culture it's impolite to ask people's age. If I see him again. (We know he would never do it to a man so he is deffo sexist.)

She says she would be fine with returning on balance as no-one has ever been like that before in there. She said how she felt lovely in her new top and was so pleased she went out, and has not suffered the next day either.

It can't happen again if I have a gentle word as soon as I clock him. But he may well be no longer working there by then anyway.

The bloke was a prick, there's no misunderstanding.

I'd leave them terrible reviews and complain but I would likely have gone totally raggo at the time as well