Wedding menu

[imnewhere2024]

DP and I recently got engaged (yay) so we are starting to plan the wedding. We are at very early stages but have run into a very interesting question. DP and I are both vegetarian for ethical reasons with our families and most of our friends being meat eaters. Venues are asking our preferences for menus so they can provide us costs so we need to make a choice on whether to provide meat or do a vegetarian only dinner.

For clarity, when we go out to dinner with meat eaters we have no issue with people ordering a meat option, but given we are the ones footing the bill, it feels like we have a say over what they eat. Honestly, we don’t feel good about paying for meat to be consumed on our wedding day, and would be offering a decent range of veggie options (not your bog standard risotto or tofu loaf etc) Friends have never complained about our dietary choices when we go to their homes or events, its pretty easy these days to cater for and we are not picky eaters at all but I feel weird imposing our vegetarian ideas on them. Has anyone faced the same issue issue or have any insight ?

You see @SleepingStandingUp wedding she offered beef or chicken so I would have enjoyed either of those options as I enjoy meat options at weddings I go to so I am not a difficult guest to please like some are suggesting. At my wedding we offered roast beef and Yorkshire puddings, roast turkey, pigs in blankets, roast potatoes or mashed and 4 different vegetables plus an aubergine lasagne, a green salad and garlic bread. We also had a tomato soup starter option as well as salmon pate.

Echo others, would fully expect a vegetarian menu if either one or both getting married are vegetarian.

I would have no problem with a vegetarian menu so long as I wasn’t expected to eat vegan cheese 🤢

1998 - 4 course meal ( vegetarian ) was £25 / head at Cooling Castle, kent

£5 / head for evening food of cheese and lovely breads and pickles.

blown away by todays prices

Honestly it's your day and I'd be far more concerned that the bride and groom were happy than I would be about what I was going to eat and I am a meat eater myself but lots of vegetarian meals are gorgeous and I'd be happy to go without meat for the day.

Congratulations on your engagement 💐

I’m a meat eater, but would be more than happy to eat vegetarian at a veggie friends wedding. As you say, it won’t be the boring run of the mill offering, so I would go ahead. I quite often have meat free meals, and really enjoy the delicious wide range of vegetarian food.

Honestly, most mass-catering is crap, the food isnt a highlight of any wedding I've been to.

Of course you should have a vegetarian menu! Just have the discussion with awkward guests before the wedding, and avoid them over the meal.

Now that's a massive twist on what I said!

I wouldn't miss the wedding of someone I loved dearly if it was alcohol free.

However, if I had travelled to a wedding and was making a day or weekend out of it and I would enjoy a drink as part of it. I don't drink much but absolutely enjoy a drink as part of a celebratory occasion.

I don't enjoy having my choices being policed by others either.

There is an alcoholic problem one side of my family, thankfully my generation appear to have avoided it so far. As a result, I'm very aware of my alcohol intake and how easy it is for alcohol to cause problems for people but thank you for your inaccurate judgement nonetheless.

Go veggie, OP, your friends and family know you're both vegetarian, so go meat-free at your wedding. I have vegetarian friends and I'm always looking for interesting options when catering for them. I'd love to go to an all-vegetarian event like a wedding, and see what options the caterers offer. I'm a big meat eater but would definitely enjoy an all-veggie menu.

I went to a vegetarian wedding recently, which was mainly a potluck. Food was okay. Upon returning home we chucked a chicken in the oven as there wasn’t enough protein (if any) served at the wedding.

Presumably you are veggie because you don’t agree with animals being used as food. So you especially wouldn’t want that to happen caused by you on the most memorable day of your lives. Serve a veggie menu OP. Be true to who you are on your big day. Anyone objecting isn’t really a person who is worth you being concerned about.

Of course you can, so you hedged your bets with veggie, beef and chicken. It is likely most people will choose something they enjoy. If you served a menu with restricted choices of beef, beef or beef. Then much much less likely.

Fabulous! Chuck in an Indian vegan wedding and it's literally the most delicious food you could think of. And I'm a meat eater. The quality and taste of the food should mean than meat eaters aren't missing meat. My Indian family would never entertain serving meat and why should they. So why should you? Congrats and have a wonderful wedding!

Well neither of those starters would suit my preferences, I hate tomatoes soup with a passion and just can't eat pate unless it's mushroom which would obviously be a solid no for your wedding. So how awful that you didn't cater for every dietary request going. Aubergines are also quite contentious veg to stick all your vegetarian and vegan friends with. But as those are good preferences I'd have eaten the bread, picked around the aubergine and not had expected to be the central priority, especially among someone to go against their personal beliefs.

If you went to a Jewish wedding would you expect them to serve Pork?

I didn't mean have Indian food but...given how delicious non-meat Indian food is....

Most OMNIvores have some meals without meat. No vegetarians have any breaks with meat. Can you see the difference in the scenarios? Today I have bacon and sausage for breakfast but a cheese and onion sandwich for lunch and cheesy pasta bake for tea. I survived.

As a vegetarian myself, I wouldn't push my choices on to people. I'd just offer a normal menu letting people choose if they wanted vegetarian.

Why is it automatically an abnormal menu if there's no meat on it?

I mean, vegetarians do enjoy protein. And an actual meal.

Because its quite clearly a normal menu offering meat and vegetarian/vegan. Have a Google of any wedding venue in your area, that's how their menu would look.

Can I just say @SleepingStandingUp( speaking as a vegetarian ) I admire your resilience here!!!
Especially as you aren’t a veggie!!

But op isn't suggesting carrots, carrots or carrots. In an Italian restaurant the vegetarian option may well include a vegetable lasagne, a ton of different vegetable pasta, cheese and tomato pizza, bruscetta, different vegetable starters. It's going to be a bit pasta / pizza laden whether there's meat in it or not.

You said you wouldn't go if it was dry, how have I misinterpreted that?

Not for a vegetarian couple though.
Those standard menues are to cater for a meat eating couple that has vegetarian and vegan guests.

Because there's more to life than dead animal although I've subsequently seen that you have a very restricted diet. Most people don't eat meat three times a day.