Wedding menu

[imnewhere2024]

DP and I recently got engaged (yay) so we are starting to plan the wedding. We are at very early stages but have run into a very interesting question. DP and I are both vegetarian for ethical reasons with our families and most of our friends being meat eaters. Venues are asking our preferences for menus so they can provide us costs so we need to make a choice on whether to provide meat or do a vegetarian only dinner.

For clarity, when we go out to dinner with meat eaters we have no issue with people ordering a meat option, but given we are the ones footing the bill, it feels like we have a say over what they eat. Honestly, we don’t feel good about paying for meat to be consumed on our wedding day, and would be offering a decent range of veggie options (not your bog standard risotto or tofu loaf etc) Friends have never complained about our dietary choices when we go to their homes or events, its pretty easy these days to cater for and we are not picky eaters at all but I feel weird imposing our vegetarian ideas on them. Has anyone faced the same issue issue or have any insight ?

But I like several varieties of fish, most meat including steak, gammon, pork steaks and chicken, that's really not hard to cater for.

I do eat lots of fruit. I've been to loads of weddings and usually eat chicken of some kind, beef, pork, lamb or salmon.

Because vegetarians don't eat meat, but meat eaters can eat a whole range of foods that aren't meat.

It is at a vegetarian wedding I’m afraid.

Luckily no one starves in a day OP
I’m sure there will be some people sit down to a wedding breakfast faced with something they don’t like,

Essentially people go to weddings to celebrate with their friends and family so I’m sure people will respect that.

Blimey
Ive just looked at the prices pp.
Is £100/£120 per person really what people are paying these days.

off subject, I know, sorry

I know quite a lot of vegetarians, my DH is one. I know a couple of devout vegetarians who have 3 DC and believe none of them have ever eaten meat. They often boast about it. In fact the middle child regularly eats meat when out with his friends but pretends to his parents he ate a veggie option. I've seen him eating chicken nuggets and pepperoni pizza too. He's too afraid to tell his parents he likes meat. He's 13.

I agree with @innerdesign ....its not the right attitude to say let them go to Macdonalds.

In fact I think that's really quite unpleasant

I think one meat option should be offered (and I'm vegetarian)

I'm a meat eater but I'd still enjoy a vegetarian meal at a wedding, and it would make total sense to me if the bride and groom are veggies. I do love my veggies and I think I'd love it. If you must eat meat have a burger or something when you get home 😆

Does everyone invited know you are vegetarian? We had meat options at our wedding because our guests' comfort was more important to us that day and we knew some people are funny about not having meat with dinner. Especially the children. It wasn't worth the risk/stress.

They were probably being polite.

Yes it is hard to cater for when you combine it with you don’t eat vegetables (except two), salads or carbs, plus you don’t eat onions, eggs, mayo, spreads… what kind of menu do you envisage that caters for your restrictions that also covers the more typical meals most people might want to eat? Do you expect a special meal with any kind of sides or you literally just eat the piece of meat or fish, ignore the rice or veggies or whatever it came with and consider yourself happy and well fed?

Make the food vegetarian, it’s your wedding, your paying for it, and if paying for/serving meat (grim) is going to put a dampener on you day, don’t do it!

I know you don't want to have Indian food but just as an aside, I think Indian food is one of the best cuisines in terms of vegetarian options.

I think it's because it's just so full of favour, whereas with a standing wedding roast dinner, then meat really provides most of the flavour.

Yes, that's exactly what I do. I eat a chicken breast possibly 4 or 5 little bits of penne and peas/carrots. Sometimes just a bit of fish. Protein is very filling. I eat lots of fruit. 5 or 6 lots a day.

But it's not just about your specific tastes is it?

If veggie parents are anything like us what kids do as they get older is up to them.
just like changing religion or in my case going veggie at age 14

Of my 3 veggie sons ages 23, 20 and 20. Two are now vegan and ones still veggie.

Everyone is different, they can do whatever they like when they get older as long as it’s legal.

No matter what you do or serve or say, somebody is gonna be offended.

Make yourselves happy on your happy day.

In lots of places it simply isn't possible to cater to everyone's preferences. We had the choice of three mains so we have a veggie option, chicken and beef. If someone's preference is seafood and someone else loves lamb, well I couldn't pick five separate meals. Even if I could, say the lamb choice is mash and someone else prefers it with vine roasted tomatoes and veg. Most caters catering for three courses for 70odd people won't offer endless choices and variety if it's being cooked properly

Wow.

I think when you're too immature to know your behaviour is rude and hurtful, it's perfectly acceptable for someone to have a word before hand and tell you that it will be. I'm not saying don't invite him or kick him out, but clearly someone needs to pull him up on his manners!

This^
And I’m a meat eater.
I would consider myself lucky to attend a wedding with vegetarian menu, it could be very exciting.

Looks a great menu but give a meat option. Last wedding I went to you pre selected.

Or like most people with a healthy diet they just liked the food.
I did a meat lasagna and a veggie one, everyone liked both but half the meaties were clamouring for a taste of the veggie one and thought it was even nicer than the meat one. Next time I just did veggie lasagna and it was all eaten (and we're not in a situation where 100 people would feel obliged to force it / there's always tons of other food).

Obviously an allergy, the planners need to know and it needs to be avoided. If guests have a restricted diet by choice (so outside of the actual allergy) then unfortunately that's a you problem. You can't expect them to give everyone pork, carrots and peas because that's what you want.

It’s actually on the cheaper side. Maybe that’s london prices but most places start at £145

So you'd honestly miss the wedding of someone you love dearly unless you can have alcohol? Sorry but that does sound like you have a problem, even if it only arises in social issues