To ask you your biggest regrets in life

[ThefloorisLav]

Just that really, do you have any major regrets from decisions you have made in the past?

Any words of Wisdom?

I regret not checking on DH sooner when he went upstairs with a migraine – he had a cardiac arrest and by the time I went up he had been dead for long enough that I don’t think CPR could ever have worked. I regret that most of all for DD’s sake. In general I try to be quite sangfroid about life – what happened is what happened and our job is just to make the best of it – but I’ll never forgive myself for that.

I’d have chosen a different degree and different career. I enjoyed my degree, but I was fairly bright and I could be earning a lot more money than I currently do.

Not starting a pension in my 20’s.

I have no regrets.

I haven't always made the right choices, but to see that takes hind sight.
I have always the best decision I could at the time, given fears, baggage, insecurities, influences and anxieties.
If I could go back and re-live that exact moment with the same circumstances I would make exactly that choice.
As long as we are open to change, learning and personal growth then even bad choices can teach us and give us wisdom.

I never beat up my past self.

I wish I’d travelled to Aus and NZ before I had kids.

Cosmetic Botox - I ended up with botulism.

Don’t think I’ve ever been in love since my first at age 19, over 30 years ago. Should have spent more time on this!
Left a great staff job and department because I was v burnt out. Lost hard won and glamorous career completely due to a city move where I am stuck due to my child’s needs.
Not getting issues from upbringing sorted out, I think doing that would have made a huge difference to all the above.
Making too much effort with some friends who didn’t reciprocate when I really needed them.

I try hard not to have too many regrets, I tend to take the view that the way I acted and the decisions I took at different stages in my life were the result of who I was at the time and what I knew at the time. Having said that , of course I regret things and there are lot of things that in retrospect I would have done differently or not done at all, but that was then and this is now.

This is so sad @topcat2014 , my heart goes out to you and the young boy.

'Men just drain women's batteries'

This is the most concisely insightful thing I've read on here in a while.

Not having a second child. DH didnt want one, but briefly agreed to try but I didnt because it felt really the wrong time. I wish I had just gone for it. He never offered again and I will always regret it.

Travel the world, I have never been abroad, and wish I had gone to places like Egpyt and Machu Picchu. I will never get to Machu Picchu now, Im too disabled. Egypt may be possible but will be limited to what I can access.

I kind of wish I hadnt dated my uni boyfriend. He was very abusive and it coloured my uni life, but then I may not have met my DH and had DS.

Not talking to my DH about his health before he died.
Not staying with him for long after he died now knowing you're conscious for longer than when your heart stops beating 😬😭

For being too pious and not investing in bitcoin cos I thought unregulated money would be used by criminals. Derr.. all money is used by criminals... £500mdIm never going to see 🤦‍♀️

For marrying my first husband - he was an AH and I had an incling he was - his family were worse.

But in reality, without all of the good and bad experiences I've had, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am, so I'm actually grateful for all my errors.

Having a(n) (avoidable) head injury, and post concussion syndrome before being injured by an antipsychotic drug that was prescribed off label for severe anxiety and insomnia after.

It gave me a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia that has ruined my life for the past 9 years (it's a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined).

My health has always been ok in spite of me being pretty fragile when I was born 3 months prematurely...but I survived ok for 34 years before I banged my head.

Ever since then, I've felt incredibly vulnerable to being worse by taking other medication etc that could exacerbate symptoms, and I'm terrified of how the menopause might affect me, or potentially being more at risk for dementia.

Oh well. We live and learn, count our blessings and carry on.

To have NOT told more dickheads I’ve encountered throughout life, esp at work, what I really think of them and to have even reserved for one or two of them a special “fuck right off.”

Not being more confident in myself. Not dealing with my anxiety earlier. Family members telling me to "pull myself together" and so feeling inadequate. Now I realise I did pull myself together. And they didn't bother with pulling themselves together!!

Not realising that I'm probably ADHD and that I'm not just "naughty" or "lazy". Not understanding about neurodivergence earlier and therefore understanding about family members more.

Pinching men's bottoms when I was much younger; and thinking I was making a strike for female equality 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not knowing that I had aright to ask for help. The people I needed itfrom would have helped, if I’d told them things that were happening.

Also not realising that I like working with people meant in more definitive terms. I'm 56 in a few days and I've only just understood what work I'd enjoy doing and be good at.

Being obsessed with a boyfriend at too young an age and wasting my education.

Drinking alcohol.

Not getting treatment for depression and hormonal problems in my 20’s.

@Thepeopleversuswork

'Men just drain women's batteries'

Excellent summary of the current state of play.

I wish I'd put my career first in my 20s instead of wasting so much time and energy on the wrong relationships.

placing too much focus on men for my self esteem and happiness, allowing this to wreck my mental health, not realizing sooner that this was caused by lack of love, affection and nurturing as a child.

I wish I hadn't been so affected by my parent's divorce when I was 20. I felt that my world had fallen apart and started drinking heavily. I had to leave the BBC as I just couldn't get up for work in the mornings, I became both late and unreliable.

I wish I learned to drive 20 years ago because I learned later in life and it is hard, I’m so nervous! Have a lovely car and don’t go anywhere.

Smoking if only for social reasons. What a bloody vile habit. I haven’t had a cigarette in 25 years though.
Not retaking my biology A level so I could study medicine