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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you your biggest regrets in life

428 replies

ThefloorisLav · 03/03/2024 14:06

Just that really, do you have any major regrets from decisions you have made in the past?

Any words of Wisdom?

OP posts:
Nanalisa60 · 03/03/2024 15:50

Not buying bitcoin in 2008 , my dh wanted to the financial advisor told us us he might as well go out and burn his 5k he wanted to invest as it was a scam.

moral of the story don’t trust financial advisors if they were that good why are they still working they would all be rich!!

SleepQuest33 · 03/03/2024 15:53

Eating too much when pregnant with DS1. Won’t get into boring details but it had long term consequences that I regret so much. Also having him in the NHS.

had a much healthier pregnancy with DS2. If I could turn back time!

Thomasina79 · 03/03/2024 15:53

Lots of regrets, but one important one is to look after your teeth. I’ve had several extractions, excruciating toothache and expensive implants. I am in my mid 60s. I wish I had eaten less sweets as a child and paid more attention to dental hygiene. Had my last top molar out recently.

rooftopbird · 03/03/2024 15:55

Not going to university, marrying a total prat.

mids2019 · 03/03/2024 15:57

Vacillating on careers.

SmudgeButt · 03/03/2024 15:59

Not having sex with some of the great looking guys I met when I was younger.

And for having sex with some of the losers.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 03/03/2024 16:01

Buying a house at the onset of the financial crisis in 2007.
Gormless me hadn't a clue.
Have just sold it at a loss but glad to be rid of it.
Has made me very cautious about ever buying again.

JamMakingWannaBe · 03/03/2024 16:03

Not travelling more when I was young, childfree and independent. Although I have been to some amazing countries, I regret not exploring Australia and NZ and many African countries. I will go to Machu Picchu when I retire.

paisley256 · 03/03/2024 16:06

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 03/03/2024 15:35

Not telling more people to " fuck off".

This. So much time wasted on people pleasing, resentment, treating myself poorly and allowing others to do the same. Because I didn't think I was worth more.

CathbadsCloak · 03/03/2024 16:06

Getting married.
Staying in teaching until retirement age.

Sallyingon · 03/03/2024 16:11

Classic case of regretting what I didn't do rather than what I did do here. I feel like I wasted my 20s. I had a career but I didn't push myself further in it, I could have bought a house but I didn't, I had all the time in the world to learn to drive but I didnt. I didn't even do much fun stuff. I worked and I partied with my friends but I didn't travel, I didnt do anything sporty and I didn't have enough adventures. It was all down to a lack of confidence and it makes me sad. I have a happy family life now but I wish I had done more with my youth. I will try and push my kids to be more adventurous

FinallyFeb · 03/03/2024 16:13

Buying a house near a busy road, the day I moved from it was one of the best days of my life and literally every day now is a blessing.

whenindoubtgotothelibrary · 03/03/2024 16:19

I really regret some disastrous early boyfriends and situationships in my teens and twenties (pretty much all of them actually) - but I tell myself I had to go through it all to end up with wonderful DH.

NeedToChangeName · 03/03/2024 16:19

Staying in a career I didn't like, because I was too scared to change direction. Took the plunge eventually and love my current role

stcrispinsday · 03/03/2024 16:19

I regret a few of my sexual experiences when I was younger. I slept with more than one man who didn't love me or even particularly care about me.

I regret not doing theatre studies A Level or English at university. I should have followed my heart.

But the things I am grateful for - my husband and kids mainly - outweigh all the regrets.

Gibs0nGirl · 03/03/2024 16:22

Spending so many years overweight; I really let it dictate my life. My job, my friends, my hobbies, how I felt about myself.

I've lost the weight and it doesn't define me now or impact my thinking; I've taken job and hobby opportunities I never would have otherwise. Just wish I'd done it ten years ago.
Or even 20.

NiceUnusualDifferent · 03/03/2024 16:23

Getting a credit card, years of struggling with debt followed.
Choosing my ex as my children's father, he's worse than useless and has caused ongoing issues for them

winterplumage · 03/03/2024 16:28

Going to Cambridge University instead of a friendlier, non-misogynistic place where a passion for learning was encouraged; not getting a first, so my dream of an academic career wasn't attainable; not calling my sibling in time to prevent suicide; listening to all the people who told me I was pathetic and a scrounger for being on sickness benefits for life as a result of the ensuing trauma; drinking and smoking; attempting voluntary work where I faced bullying, instead of having the confidence to apply for PhDs; remaining 11 years with an ex I was passionately in love with but wouldn't commit to a future together; spending years nursing ex's father until his death; spending years as a carer; putting up with what I now realise is unacceptable behaviour from friends and family; not realising how beautiful I was when I was young!

caringcarer · 03/03/2024 16:28

Staying with my exh after I stopped loving him. I stayed for the sake of the kids. The kids actually did better after I left him. I wish I'd known that earlier. I wasted 4 whole years.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 03/03/2024 16:28

Oh. I've had a few; But then again; Too few to mention 😊

Lengokengo · 03/03/2024 16:39

Not going low contact with my parents in my twenties. I tried too hard to make them value me, but I would have done that far better by withdrawing and not putting up with their clear favouring of other family members, whilst I was scapegoated or ignored, which was terrible for my self esteem and had made no difference to their treatment of me.

Dweetfidilove · 03/03/2024 16:39

I don’t regret as such, but wish I’d listened to 2 things:

  • my mom when she said go to uni straight from after secondary school, then fuck around later. *My ex when he said - let’s buy that flat as an investment. Nope, I was young and living my best life - no one could tell me shit!

Well, I did get the degree, though it was so much harder with a full-time job🤦🏾‍♀️.
My ex now owns 4 properties and I own zero.
I had a bloody good time though, and I’m still enjoying a reasonably good life 🤷🏽‍♀️.

CabinetofMonstrosities · 03/03/2024 16:42

I wish I had started proper budgeting earlier. That’s the only one. I think we would be in a much better financial position now if I had started 20 years ago instead of constantly living hand to mouth.

You live and learn!

5128gap · 03/03/2024 16:44

No, because while there's been a 'serise of unfortunate events' many down to my choices, theres been a lot of highs too, and that's the life I've lived and the paths I chose. I have no real way of knowing things would have been better had I done things differently, because I didn't. They may just have led to a different sort of bad and good than what I've had.

BoobyDazzler · 03/03/2024 16:47

Not studying harder and school, feeling that I wasn’t worthwhile.

Not punching my bullies

Not studying archeology.

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