To ask you your biggest regrets in life

[ThefloorisLav]

Just that really, do you have any major regrets from decisions you have made in the past?

Any words of Wisdom?

I regret not marrying my late husband sooner.

I regret not putting my foot down harder over his interfering ex.

I was on my best behaviour all my married life, so as not to alienate DH's adult children. After he died and I had the funeral to organise, I again bit my tongue over some matters and agreed that the ex could come to the funeral to "represent" them during lockdown. (It turned out that it was her idea. Man Number 4 dropped her off and picked her up.)

At one point, DH's DIL informed me that his ex was 'devastated' about his death. NB DH left his ex when he found out she'd spent the night with her 2nd man, but she managed to convince some people that she was the victim. DH and I were married 24 yrs.

3 days after the funeral I was woken from a Diazepam/Zoplicone induced sleep to find her on my doorstep. I thought she was just there to give me her condolences, but she wanted to know what I was doing with his ashes. I later realised she had wanted to convince me to place them in a location of her choosing.

I regret not telling her to get lost then. Instead, I finally lost it a couple of months later and the kids have gone NC with me. (No, I don't blame them. I was out of order.)

Thank you for this you know maybe I will look into it

Becoming the OW and losing my job because of him. He was a vile creature who treated every woman and girl in his life poorly, so I was glad to be rid of him though. Taught me a lot about myself, and about what I'm willing and not willing to put up with. I got another job, moved on with my life, and met my current boyfriend through work, which I wouldn't have done if I'd stayed in my old job.

I’m hoping to get early retirement, am
almost 56.
All my family are very supportive, which surprised me. They were the ones who encouraged me to look into it.
I hope you’re enjoying a very well-earned retirement now.

I regret taking my dd to a national adolescent eating disorder service. Their harmful treatment and further negligence destroyed our lives and we haven't been able to turn it around since.

If only I'd thrown the assessment letter away and taken our chances with CAMHS my dd might have stood a chance of recovering from her mental illness, which was mild then but is serious now. I regret following their advice which caused my dd and so many others that used their service, serious health issues (some have even died). Too late now.

I haven't read the full thread, so it may be a common theme, but...

EVERY REGRET I HAVE IS BECAUSE I BASED A CHOICE ON SOMEONE ELSE.

I left a job, because my then partner wanted to move for work..
I sold a house and moved because my the partner wanted us to live together.
I moved 100 miles from home because my then partner convinced me it'd be a good idea.

So on and so on.

If I could teach my kid 1 thing it's that she needs to base every decision on what is best for her and bollocks to other fucking cunty cheating abusive lying love bombing arsehole wankers...

But I'm not bitter... 🤣

NC for this. By biggest regret was finishing with my boyfriend when I was 21 and getting with my daughter’s dad. DD’s dad was awful and even got into a fight at our wedding, I should have had it annulled but carried on with it because I was stupid.

Anyway, first boyfriend and I got back in touch and have now been married for 13 years ❤️❤️ However, it was too late for children as he’d had a vasectomy and I was going through the menopause. I feel so sad that we missed out on having kids but at the same time happy that we have each other.

Having an elective section due to previous trauma which turned out more traumatic than anything that had ever happened to me previously. Still suffering PTSD. A cautionary tale to anyone considering.

Oh I’m so sorry. What happened? If you don’t mind saying and reliving the experience of course! As I am considering.

Giving my 11 year old a smart phone.

@BirthdayRainbow he is married or I would! We actually saw each other yesterday and had a chat...heart still skipped a beat!

PPH and an extremely invasive technique was used I was not prepared or knew it was even a thing. Did as much damage as giving birth so there was no point in CS.

I dearly wish I had stayed home the night i met my ex partner, I was only 19 when we met and we were together for 16 years. I’d give anything to get those years back and make better decisions!

Biggest regret? I dont really regret much but....i wish i had have gone NC sooner with my mum. Like 2 decades before i did.

Same. Regrets.... I wish i hadnt met my ex and wish i had moved to be with a guy who asked me to move hundreds miles away and marry him. I will never know now.. couldn't have been worse than ex though 🤣

I wish I had prioritised a career and my education more.

Also wish I had properly tried dating women before settling down with my DH.

Not learning to drive sooner, I'm 30 have 3 children and no idependence, we can only do things on Sundays and it drives me crazy. I am doing it now though, so better late than never

Same here! I adore him, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, I’d be lost without him.

I keep ending up with men who seem amazing at first...great careers...strong and protective and then bam once ive fallen in love with them the problems with alcohol appear...of course by then im in too deep and embarrassment at another failure stops me walking away....coming to the conclusion that i need to be and stay single.

@Kola6 i had a great experience with my elective c-section. I wouldn’t have done it any other way and it was absolutely the right choice for me. It’s important to go with what feels right to you in the context of the medical advice you have been given.

Why regret staying in teaching?

Not keeping a diary.

Meeting my DH (apart from the fact I wouldn’t have my DC). He has caused me so much pain and heartache over the years. He’s a binge drinker and can be lovely sober but when he’s had a drink it’s a 180 degree personality swap. He’s been caught drink driving 3 times the last time he narrowly escaped jail. He’s been in the hospital after falling or being picked up by the police.

He doesn’t know when to stop so he will drink and drink and still be drunk the next day. It doesn’t happen that often maybe 4 times a year but I’m fed up with it.

Marrying my exh. Useless man turned out to be shit dad. Still haunts us.

Leave. I did. You can't reason with an addict.