NC/NA for this.
I’ve been dating a man for the past year (15 months to be exact). We both work full time jobs. We do not live together. I’ve never been married and don’t have children. He is divorced with 2 children.
He has always been wealthy. Earns over £2m+ per year. I have always been financially sound/worked. We take it in turns to pay for things and that works just fine for me. I have a good career, but obviously don’t make as much as he does. I pay for all my own bills myself and have never needed financial help from anyone, even my parents.
Since we started dating, he has acknowledged many times that he loves how independent I am as his previous partners were apparently ‘gold-diggers’. He repeats this sentiment often, but even if he didn’t, I love being independent and having my own income and career path. I have no debt and live alone - and within my means.
He’s since sold his company (which was after we met) and has become even more wealthy. Sunday Times Rich List wealthy. Not the top of such a list, but definitely on there.
He now wants to go on holiday to celebrate. As in a blowout celebration. I suggested somewhere more low key and not so crazy. He suggested St Bart’s etc…
He said he’d pay for my flight and we could ‘figure out the rest while we were there’.
I said no, as I am financially astute and would need to know what other expenses could amount to prior. Are we talking additional charges of £1k...? £5k…? £10k...? More?!
I also said I didn’t feel comfortable with this all. He told me to ‘relax’.
He acknowledged that I have a great career and job… but that doesn’t mean I should have to potentially put things on my credit card or dip into savings - for a destination that I didn’t choose. A destination that is astronomically expensive.
I’d happily pay my own way - even my own damn flight if the trip was less extravagant on the whole. I don’t even WANT my flight paid for, especially if it means I’m going to end up being ‘liable’ for many more charges as a result of this trip.
I also don’t want to be called a ‘gold digger’ by him. I can’t help but feel like this is almost a ‘test’ of sorts. It is a really bizarre situation and makes me feel… honestly… gross.