Should she have waited to see I got home safe?

[JourneyHomee]

I went out on a date last night, it went extremely well, and I got the last train home. There were lots of stops and issues and delays, and I only got home 3 hours after I left my date.

She asked me to let her know I got home safely. I texted to say I got home but received no response.

Finally got a reply in the morning, she said she was waiting but kept falling asleep but didn’t allow herself to sleep until she saw my message.

She responded this morning with a “like heart” on my message from last night.

I had travelled a long distance to see her, and paid for our date because I wanted to and was happy to do so.

Now I’m feeling a little bit off about it all. Am I being unreasonable to not take her seriously in future?

We are both women, by the way.

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. I've been in her position and haven't replied because I haven't wanted to disturb dp. I know he got there OK, he doesn't need an acknowledgement.

Did she lie?

She kept drifting off. You messaged. The message will have popped up on her screen and she promptly fell asleep and replied in the morning.

my dd is at uni, the other week she was at a concert, she was going to let me know she was back at her flat. I kept drifting off, saw her message and went to sleep, I wasn’t going to open it up and reply. I knew she was home and she didn’t need an immediate reply

im confused about what your mad about

@JourneyHomee I think perhaps you gave a little too much on the first date, (very long round trip/travel expenses, plus paid for the date on top). I know you said you wanted to, but it might have been fairer if she had treated you, given the effort and expense you went to. I’m just wondering if you feel the way you do because you made so much effort that it left you feeling unappreciated that she couldn’t wait up? If there is a second date, perhaps consider allowing her to come forward and offer to make the journey/treat you. (Unless there are circumstances that would prevent this that you’ve not mentioned).

🤣 I was just about to type this out.

And since you only have to do the journey twice before you move in together, it’s not too inconvenient 😃

Yes, I think you’re spot on! She did say she wanted to treat me and she would have done it happily.

Next time, I’ll let her travel to me.

I’m sure it will be fine, she seems like a decent person.

She has thanked me today and was extremely appreciative. She is very happy about the date and I’m taking pleasure in that.

I think it was okay to be romantic and generous.

Oh, and she’d brought with her a lovely gift for me that I’m still enjoying. A hard to find thing that I had mentioned the other week.

I have already started packing and the removal company has been booked. 😊

Also, you might all need to buy a hat.

YABU - I always ask friends (male or female) after a night out to let me know when they’re home. I’ll see a message they’re home think “cool” and sleep because the energy to reply even a thumbs up or heart feels unnecessary.

or theyll ask me to do the same, and a lot of the time i forget to anyway but share locations (obvs would not be doing this with a first date/non friend/non relationship though)

😃

Think about the actual reasons this convention exists, beyond the courtesy. It's so that if you haven't responded in the length of time it's anticipated you'll need to get home, concerned parties can sound the alarm.

In order to do this, you'll need:

• Full name
• Address, telephone number, social media accounts, email address... Any potential mode of contact.
• Details of friends or relatives, places the person might have gone.
• Knowledge of other relationships, old relationships, potential sources of conflict (since most women are attacked by people they know).

It doesn't make sense for her to fill this role because she doesn't know you nearly well enough. This is the job you give to a friend or relative. 'I'm going on a date tonight. Here's my live location. If I'm not back by x time, send in the cavalry.'

@JourneyHomee is there an IKEA store midway between you?

I would actually really love to do this. Seriously.

I have no idea why people say couples fall out and argue in IKEA.
That must be the straight folk.
I’ve always had a marvellous time! 🤘

Me and my GF had our second date in IKEA! 🤣

Aw glad it went well OP. Don't forget to invite us to the housewarming lol.

@Redhairandhottubs Perfect! I guess you didn’t get the meatballs! 😂

I think you already know the mass opinion here is that YABU and i'm sorry to say I agree. She tried her best and for all the dating disasters you could have had after such a long journey, this is minor

My kind of people! 😂

I’m thinking a barbecue…

I get what you're saying. It's someone committing to something ( however far reaching that is) then not exactly follow through.

I'd feel a bit unsure but it wouldn't be enough to cut it dead if there's potential there. I really dislike the whole let me know you got home stuff when you just met someone. It feels so false to me. You've survived all these years without texting this person that you're ok.

Just ignore it and see if another date is on the cards.

When reading this I assumed it was a guy and thought it odd behaviour and oversensitive, when she stated their gender I automatically thought ‘ah now that makes sense’.

You are a big girl now. Anyone would expect you to get home ,even on public transport. It's no ones fault it took so long.

YABU. You’re an adult, you’re being very needy.

Best solution is to get the moving van I reckon 🤣 about the only benefit of covid was you had an excuse for uhauling

I think she should probably be feeling off about you. You seem a bit intense and hard work.