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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should she have waited to see I got home safe?

133 replies

JourneyHomee · 02/03/2024 11:03

I went out on a date last night, it went extremely well, and I got the last train home. There were lots of stops and issues and delays, and I only got home 3 hours after I left my date.

She asked me to let her know I got home safely. I texted to say I got home but received no response.

Finally got a reply in the morning, she said she was waiting but kept falling asleep but didn’t allow herself to sleep until she saw my message.

She responded this morning with a “like heart” on my message from last night.

I had travelled a long distance to see her, and paid for our date because I wanted to and was happy to do so.

Now I’m feeling a little bit off about it all. Am I being unreasonable to not take her seriously in future?

We are both women, by the way.

OP posts:
TheGreatGherkin · 02/03/2024 13:15

She would have been buggered if she had to wait for 3 rings...

Seaside3 · 02/03/2024 13:16

I'd let her go. Because no one needs to be judged for the very reasonable way she behaved. And if this is after one date, what will you be like going forward? Poor woman will never be able to do right.

BrightHarvestMoon · 02/03/2024 13:21

How can you POSSIBLY think you're in the right here @JourneyHomee ??? Confused

You took 3 hours to get home, and your date will have gone to bed hours before.

Why did it take so long to get home? As has been said, I would not be dating anyone who took a 6 hour round trip to get to!

LakeTiticaca · 02/03/2024 13:23

You sound a bit precious and nitpicky tbh. If your date is reading this she would be wise to take note

Time4achange24 · 02/03/2024 13:23

JourneyHomee · 02/03/2024 13:05

Thankfully nothing like that!
Just a bit sleep deprived and a tad hung over and maybe just not thinking clearly.

I feel happy now after all the feedback.

And we’ve been texting and having a laugh together and she is being exceptionally kind. Feel a bit guilty now.

A bit of a tough crowd here!

Show quote history

Ah that's good. Glad it's all ok now and yoir feeling better. Enjoy your chat 😊

CeffylCoch · 02/03/2024 13:28

YABU! she's done nothing wrong. You sound like hard work tbh

Combattingthemoaners · 02/03/2024 13:35

helpfulperson · 02/03/2024 11:23

Actually men are more likely to get attacked, just less likely to be sexually assaulted or raped.Women and the Criminal Justice System 2021 - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Show quote history

Where does it say that? They’re more likely to be victims of violent crime (could be bar fights/gang rang etc) or homicide. It doesn’t say anything about being attacked or stranger attacks at that.

Redhairandhottubs · 02/03/2024 13:40

@JourneyHomee glad you're chatting and it's going well 😊 Its easy to overthink when you've just met someone.

Redhairandhottubs · 02/03/2024 13:41

easilydistracted1 · 02/03/2024 12:19

@Uricon2 I thought 'Ah but are you a lesbian'. So @Redhairandhottubs response made me laugh. A good woman is hard to find. A good woman who doesn't know and has possibly dated your ex even harder 🤣

I don't think such a woman exists! 🤣

willWillSmithsmith · 02/03/2024 13:49

She could have just not wanted to get into any further texting etc as she wanted to go to sleep. She saw you were back home so went to sleep.

easilydistracted1 · 02/03/2024 14:16

@Redhairandhottubs found one, married her, relocated to her home area. Now there are exes round every corner 🤣 I hire a tradeswoman turns out they've had a thing 🫣

easilydistracted1 · 02/03/2024 14:35

@JourneyHomee given your update I think this is your hangover talking. I'm quite impressed she stayed up that late pissed. She sounds very keen

TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 02/03/2024 14:39

If it was me and I was dozing I'd have seen your message on my watch then probably gone to sleep

angelikacpickles · 02/03/2024 14:42

Can't you see when she read the message? Was it last night or this morning?

pontipinemum · 02/03/2024 14:43

I've asked friends etc to let me know they get home safely. She very well might have seen it then said "ah good", and properly fallen asleep instead of dosing. If she hadn't heard from you and woke up at 4am with no text I am sure she would have been concerned.

If ye had a laugh and you like her I would never mention this again

Viviennemary · 02/03/2024 14:45

No I don't think she needed to ask if you got home ok. Why didn't you text her to say you were delayed. You sound a bit needy.

Zyq · 02/03/2024 14:57

JourneyHomee · 02/03/2024 11:17

I knew she got home safe because we were texting during the first part of my journey. She arrived home minutes after I left.

I wouldn’t have expected her to stay up, only she insisted I must let her know.

And I think the bit I’m unsure about is her saying this morning that she DID stay up. If so, surely the “like heart” would have happened then?

I live in a bit of a rough neighbourhood, and I don’t usually stay out late.

If the shoe we’re on the other foot, I would have been concerned not to have heard from her… I may have fallen asleep, but I wouldn’t claim I hadn’t the next day.

Maybe, maybe not. If she was really struggling to stay awake, she may have registered that you were back and fallen straight to sleep. Why assume she's lying?

Zone2NorthLondon · 02/03/2024 14:59

I’d not say tough crowd,more a realistic check in. Glad you’re both ok and chatting etc

Teentaxidriver · 02/03/2024 15:18

Did your mummy tuck you into bed?

theduchessofspork · 02/03/2024 16:27

You are an adult, presumably you’ve been getting yourself home for years.

YABU

CarrotOfPeace · 02/03/2024 16:30

You're being ridiculous. If you didn't text back the she'd worry this morning presumably. It's also partly so she can tell if you're keen for a follow up or not. I'm home safe it was nice to meet you fancy doing it again? That sort of thing

GreenWheat · 02/03/2024 16:34

For a first date, I wouldn't have chosen something that was such a hassle to get home from. Next time meet up earlier so neither of you is travelling late at night, or get a cheap hotel room (other party then pays for more of the date).

Babycote · 02/03/2024 16:40

I'm a 41yo woman who goes out loads and have never sent nor received a 'got home safe' text in my life.

YABVU

BungleandGeorge · 02/03/2024 16:42

As an adult it’s really up to you to ensure you’ve got a safe way home. If there’s freak weather or an accident en route it would be good to text so the other person doesn’t worry. However, you took much longer to get home than usual, she did nothing despite you not getting home on time so what really is the point of texting?!

MzHz · 02/03/2024 18:30

was this a first date? If so, it’s a LOT MUCH for that.

chill out and share costs/journeys

no need to rush this stuff, that always ends in a mess