Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "well rounded" children? Is it the school or the parents?

[Kenthighst]

I know all state schools produce well rounded children eg those kids that are academic, musical, sporty, confident, excel at drama & can try their hand at anything.

But private schools churn out well rounded kids so aibu to wonder if it is the actual school who produce these kids or is it parental input?

I used to think private was best even if I didn't agree with it politically - having seen how successful my kids have been in state school I don't think that any more. I have a son heading for Cambridge in October, who is a happy well-adjusted young man who volunteers and wants to improve society. I have a talented artistic and kind daughter who plays 2 instruments at grade 8, speaks three languages and is also an Oxbridge aspirant. I very much doubt there would have been a better result if I had sent them to an expensive indie - in fact probably the opposite. I see my best friend from my (private) school who has sent her two to indie and I am afraid has quite unhappy teens who despite both being highly intelligent with loveing parents are struggling both academically and socially. So, family are important but so is the ethos of the school and many of the UK's state schools are brilliant.

Completely agree

What a bizarre statement

It's OK to criticise politicians without wanting to be one

I don't doubt that but that's not necessarily well rounded at all. I would say in a lot of cases they lack empathy and have a narrower view of the world.

Well rounded meaning practiced at many things. Many sports, drama, art, playing at least one musical instruments, fluent in another language. Not sure how that's not well rounded to you.

You seem to be confusing well rounded with exposed to different social classes.

No, it isn't really. If you won't do the job yourself then you shouldn't criticise other people who are prepared to do it.

Anyone can become a politician. It is not like being a brain surgeon where you need a certain level of intelligence and skill.

What is this artificial leg up? You do realise the kids have to sit the same exams as everyone else don't you. They do have advantages to be sure. Smaller class sizes etc. but they have to actually work to get the grades. The grades don't just get presented to them for having gone to a particular school.

They are generally expected to worked hard. Longer days. Sometimes Saturday school. MASSES of homework.

Yes they have advantages but they are doing the work to get the grades otherwise they wouldn't be getting the grades they get

Tbh most of the parents at those schools will be more polished. So if you are hanging out with polished people you are likely to learn the same behaviours.

Are brain surgeons allowed to criticise politicians, or should they change careers and become one?

No, they shouldn't criticise people who are prepared to do a job that they won't do themselves.

If a brain surgeon feels that policians are ghastly (like the pp said), then they should do something about it by becoming one.

I think this documentary sums it up.big I was paying £45,000 a year I’d expect a well rounded kid. They investigate state school versus state. It’s an interesting program.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wtlw

Lol at "polished people". Most of those people have only ever been surrounded by other "polished people"...so they genuinely have no idea how ghastly they are.😂

These are massive generalisations. I’ve been teaching for 30 years and started in state and moved to private. There’s an enormous difference between boarding schools such as Uppingham, Eton, Marlborough etc and small independent day schools. The independent school I taught in in London had a very diverse group of students and really wasn’t posh. Some schools like Manchester Grammar have massive bursary provision.

Some wealthy parents use boarding school as the alternative to putting their child in care.

@Charlingspont you are spot on, when my dad left my mum to die of cancer he dumped me in boarding school so he could gallavant around the world & party with the rich & shameless with his much younger trophy wife.

My kids went to local schools up to A level.
One knocked out with bully with tennis racquet. 3Weeks of tennis, 3 weeks of cricket. Not long enough to learn the rules and even how to play
No clue about music, blobs on a line: never mentioned.
All the time dragged down by as someone up-thread said 'the riffraff' and thickos who effectively set the pace for the school.
We could not afford anything else. Local Authority Education is poor.

Does that apply to all walks of life? Or just useless, dishonest politicians?

For me it includes both, and more. Well rounded means everything in my eyes. The well rounded OP id focussing on just seems to be the immediate benefits of the school, not how those people present once they leave it.

There was a fab documentary style programme on this a while ago in the UK, where 3 pupils from private schools and their headteacher did a week at state school and then 3 pupils from the state school and their head did a week at the private boarding school.
The state school head basically surmises that there's a lot of factors, and the main ones were; that the parents are all highly invested in the education, making sure homework is done etc; that largely private schools have a much higher level of time with their pupils to offer extra curricular stuff; that the children had very consistent structure (phones were confiscated at 10pm, and given back in the morning), including good healthy food, a solid time for sleep with no distractions and plenty of outdoor time and exercise, so the school experience went far beyond the classroom and was really consistent; and that there were lots of small opportunities that built up their confidence and built skills in networking etc (the pupils all attended a 'history society dinner', where they were sat with older Alevel pupils and teachers). The state pupils also note that the atmosphere is peaceful and the private pupils don't really mess about and its like, expected to try hard and do well, and that no one is teased for it like at their school.

In my private independent school we had a number of advantages including TWO teachers being convicted for paedophilia. More per child than the state system.

We were not more well-rounded because we received a single sex education, not mixed so by not integrating with the other 50% of society it was impossible to be well rounded.

Both posts are as bad as the other- snobbery and inverted snobbery

Yeah I was gonna say... My mum always used to tell the story of a girl who would lock other children in cupboards at her elite private school. The kids seem more deranged than anyone I encountered at my nice comprehensive school

All my privately educated friends are really fucked up, including my brother who can’t talk to the opposite sex at all and is basically a recluse. I wouldn’t call him an all -rounder, a misfit maybe and a weirdo . My other close friend was sexually abused by his teacher over a number of years, he’s also not an all-rounder, he can’t function in normal society anymore as he’s completely traumatised by his private schooling.

You sound pretty ghastly, too

I work in a private school (non UK) and my DS just moved to (UK) private school after working in a very underfunded state school for 15 years.

I would say it's a bit of both. You do have more resources, more space, smaller classes and you can usually expect two types of parents. Those who pay for you to do everything so that they don't have to, and those who pay because they want their child to have a great education and can afford to. The second are usually very involved in the schooling of their child.

I also have a third type of parent, expats whose child did not fit into the local system, and these are usually eternally grateful that their child is just happy to go to a school...

We both work in primary, so no comment on other sections.

My beef wouldn't be with the private schools. My energy would be going in the direction of the politicians who have stripped the UK school system bare. It's shameful. Uk state schools are brilliant and have been global leaders in their child centered approach, but now they have no money, are being given even less now, plus more and more demands put on the teachers (who of course put their hands in their pockets, because if they don't, it is the kids who suffer....)

Shall get off my soapbox now. Bloody government.