Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "well rounded" children? Is it the school or the parents?

[Kenthighst]

I know all state schools produce well rounded children eg those kids that are academic, musical, sporty, confident, excel at drama & can try their hand at anything.

But private schools churn out well rounded kids so aibu to wonder if it is the actual school who produce these kids or is it parental input?

Parental wallet

Both

6 of 1 half a dozen of the other.

Independent schools often have a higher starting base (at least on average), but then they throw time and resources at the kids in a way that can’t be replicated en masse at a state school.

I think the opposite. Private schools will have specialist sports, art, music, drama teachers even for the 3YOs in the school nursery. Not to mention the facilities and equipment that go along with. For kids to become good all rounders in the state sector the parents have to do a lot more of the leg work.

And as an aside I’ve also heard ‘good all rounder’ used as a polite way of saying not massively high achieving, especially academically! Average at everything, but not exceptional at anything. But I know that’s not what you’re getting at.

You mean like our ghastly current crop of politicians?

Many of the adults I know who went to private schools have a broad skill set, but tend to be more eccentric verging towards borderline loopy. I wouldn’t describe them as well rounded.

Cultured, talented, well educated? Yes. Balanced? Debatable.

I get what you're saying... More like a Jack of all trades master of nothing

Independent schools have sport and music and drama and public speaking on the curriculum in a way that state schools cannot afford to replicate.

A lot of that confidence is down to having spoken and performed in "public" - to the class, to the school and to parents.

Extra curriculars can replicate this.

People like value for money, even rich people. If you're going to charge fees for something that people could otherwise get free, you have to give them what they want - smaller class sizes, more intensive tuition, more access to cultural activities, more tangible signs that your money is buying something useful.

Are they, more ‘well rounded’?
I would strongly disagree. They look and sound the same, have similar backgrounds, have only mixed with certain types of kids and families, have been handheld through school. On paper they look ‘accomplished’ but are they?
Other than over confidence I’m not sure they have much else going for them!

They don’t. They are perceived to by the kind of socially-anxious, aspirational LMC type of Mner who fetishises private education, and has odd ideas about what constitutes ‘rounded’.

What private schools chiefly do is give an artificial leg up to academically average children.

It's obviously because private schools are populated with jolly nice children who are far brighter than the usual riff raff and who have parents 'who really care', whereas state schools are full of pond life with only one parent who is almost certainly an alcoholic or a drug addiction.

Or cash.

I agree with you wholeheartedly @StephanieSuperpowers especially along the lines of debating. My dc's school have no debating team & there is no debating club after school or in our vicinity. The local privates have multiple debating teams plus they enter national & international competitions.

The reason some parents pay for. A private education are:

• Smaller class sizes so more one on one attention from teachers
• Probably no disruptive children so a more peaceful and pleasant environment for all
• More specialist teaching from a much younger age, in music, languages, sport, computers
• More extra curricular clubs offered - dance, gymnastics etc
• Better facilities - many schools have their own pool
• many wouldn't say this but they also don't want their children to mix with what they perceive as "rough" children, so no "bad influences"

Is this really what people think? Some of my classmates at my private school are now some of the most dysfunctional people I know!

I think it’s the lack of exposure to ‘troubled’ children that gives private school kids a confident, sunny disposition. Once you’ve been to state school and you’ve had classmates parents die from drugs overdoses or you know people living in extreme poverty it gives kids a bit of gritty realism which somewhat dents their optimism.

Excellent response.

I don't think they do. Money however enables you to cover up dysfunctional behaviour more easily.

I think there’s a slightly different attitude to learning - we’ve done both state and private. The private schools didn’t seem constrained by curriculum in the same way and were weirdly much less hung up on results so time was made for other stuff. I was really disappointed at our state sixth form when DS was discouraged from doing an extra A-level as he “didn’t need it”. The private 6th form encouraged him to learn for the sake of learning - not what he ‘needed’.

It may be an unpopular opinion but I do feel the majority of the kids I know that attend private schools are generally more accomplished, confident & "polished"...
But my argument is whether it is from the parents or is it thd school itself that produces these type of kids?

It's the parents. Plus having money to facilitate.

In my experience, there is no real difference between privately educated kids and state educated kids once you have accounted for differences in family background.

Agreed with the poster above....I've never heard anyone describe anyone who is privately educated as 'well-rounded' in fact quite the opposite!

Everyone I know who has been to private school (I seem to know a lot) either their kids failed grammar school exams, or have SEN, or the parents are wealthy and that's what you do because the parents (no more well-rounded than anyone else) had been privately educated or parents wanted to not have to parent their children (boarding school).

Most the blokes I know who went to private school haven't grown up emotionally, got very well paid but dull jobs though which I guess was important to them?

@Kenthighst "polished" is just the money, inclination and time to look after your appearance though?

What private school allows me to do is:

1. Give my SEN DD14 an opportunity to learn in small classes in a small nurturing school because the local secondary is crap, massive class sizes and overwhelming for her.

1. Let my DD have a single sex education as the sexual assault stats in mixed schools are horrendous

1. As a lone working parent it means the extended hours enables me to work the hours expected.

Not quite what I meant, it's more of a confidence.. Good posture, very well spoken & I'll probably be for this but I have never seen an overweight child at the local privates!!
Probably because of all the sports they do.