Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "well rounded" children? Is it the school or the parents?

[Kenthighst]

I know all state schools produce well rounded children eg those kids that are academic, musical, sporty, confident, excel at drama & can try their hand at anything.

But private schools churn out well rounded kids so aibu to wonder if it is the actual school who produce these kids or is it parental input?

Ah, I clearly didn’t read it properly. I prefer it as a ranking order, though - much more amusing!

@LlynTegid "My experience of those who were privately educated when at university was that there was a great variance, some who were confident and went on to success, and others who were emotionally limited."

Insightful comment.

@Kenthighst
"But private schools churn out well rounded kids so aibu to wonder if it is the actual school who produce these kids or is it parental input?"
This is such an over generalisation!
So, no private schools do not churn out well-rounded kids.
There are good and bad private schools, and good and bad state schools.
But also, each child is different, so what school benefits one child, may not be the right school for another child.
Then some children have a lot of parental involvement (private and state), and some children have zero parental interest (private and state)
The one person I know who attented a private school (from age 9), is certainly arrogant, but is out of work, and definitely not well-rounded.

To state the bleedin' obvious, all independent schools are different - just as state schools are. Some are fashionable with the super-rich, some are more low-key, some highly academic and some not. Also - not all are boarding schools.

The one I worked at had nice, regular non-arrogant boys - in fact, in the guide book (can't remember what it's called now) to independent schools, the reviewer remarked 'Not a Hooray Henry in sight!'. It wasn't one of the premier league and the boys were more under the influence of their homes than the rigours of boarding school and most were delightful, courteous and even humble! They were very into the schools charitable activities and I remember a sixth-form boyo boy getting very tearful when his (over ambitious) plan to raise money for the charity was turned down by the head on H & S grounds.

Must repeat a joke which (once - maybe not true now) was supposed to characterise the products of 3 top public schools:

At a formal dance, the Etonian asked for a chair for his girlfriend. The Wykehamist (Winchester College) humbly went off to get one and then the Harrovian sat on it!

Oh dear - sorry for typos! The sixth-former wasn't a 'boyo'!! And there's an apostrophe missing on school's charitable activities. Too early in the morning...

Parents care, as in all the parents care enough to be paying so they will care about other aspects of their life too or buy in services to help them. There's exceptions of cause, but overall. Plenty of state educated parents care too and they turn out ok but there's an underlying problem with parents not bothered about education

The last thing private school children are is ‘well-rounded’ but no paying parent is EVER going to admit that…

I have had two very well rounded privately educated young men digging out the bamboo,that had invaded my garden, today. My son and his best friend. They are both at uni and DS has recruited his best friend to help him with the physical work and I’m paying them both.
They are brilliant company, love to chat and have worked pretty hard today.
They were joined by their third member of their trio via FaceTime. We had a lovely chat and they decided, finally on their holiday destination. After failing to sort out a holiday with a larger group of friends they have decided on Scotland for a few days.
They are lovely gentle souls, who are all rugby players ( the big ones in the scrum) are polite, fun loving and have helped DS through a difficult couple of years ( DH and I both faced life threatening health conditions - both ok at present). I will be forever grateful to them for being there for him.

They are all country gents but without the arrogance that you see protrayed. There were a lot of farming families at DS’s school, they are definitely well rounded hard working individuals with a great sense of fun and adventure, they are exposed to so much more than the average child. DS’s friend spent his Easter break lambing, but is studying law at uni and enjoys a normal social life. He has to help with his parents’ businesses and then rolls up a couple of times a week to help DS.

Money buys opportunity, privately educated kids are likely to have had more opportunities - is that what you mean by well rounded?

But every parent thinks their own kid and their pals are the bees knees! I could wax lyrical about my state educated teen dds who are kind / funny etc.

I'm currently at university studying education and writing a dissertation on this topic.

Private school = high social class usually
These kids have an advantage in terms of social and cultural capital (connections and general knowledge), concerted cultivation parenting (high involvement), access to resources. More money = more time to focus on your kids, get them tutors, work on homework etc. Better school = better teachers, facilities, accommodations etc.

The difference in achievement is only made more noticeable when you study the disadvantages faced by working class children. Natural growth approach to parenting (laissez faire), low social and cultural capital, economic status, taught defiance towards the education system. Nearly half of children eligible for free school meals don't pass 5 GCSEs.

Private school kids are the most privileged of all so of course they will be viewed as the most 'well-rounded' of children in comparison.

Did you know that private school kids are 5 times before more likely to attend Oxford university and every prime minister since WW2 has attended Oxford? Last year, private school children made up 33% of Oxford offers, despite private schools taking up only 6% of all schools. Private school kids earn significantly more than their state school peers by age 25, despite being outperformed in exam results. Education alone does not define success, powerful parents play a huge role.

@ShyPearlMoose
"every prime minister since WW2 has attended Oxford?"
This is irrelevant. We are talking schools, not universities.

"Last year, private school children made up 33% of Oxford offers, despite private schools taking up only 6% of all schools."

This statistic is skewed. The comparison should be those from private schools that got top grades, and those from state schools who got top grades.
Those at state schools include those who have special needs, those who are not so bright, as well as the academically bright.
The only person I know who attended private school, failed his 'A' levels, and after a few years in a mediocre job, has not worked since. (not worked for over 15 years).

"concerted cultivation parenting (high involvement),"
In this case, I think the parents just sent him to an expensive private school to abrogate any involvment themselves... to leave everything to the school, which obviously did not have much affect.

That's why I sent my 4dc (entitled to fsm) to private secondary schools. Dd3 is currently doing her gcses and is expecting 9s in them all. The school want her to try for Oxbridge- her 2 elder dd are both Cambridge graduates. We have always been very working class but we value education.

How did you manage to pay for private school with an income low enough to get FSM?

every prime minister since WW2 has attended Oxford?

Neither John Major nor Gordon Brown attended Oxford.

Presumably a bursary?

Dunno. Some of the kids I see from state schools are well round. Often seen eating crisps and chocolate lol.

Full scholarship which also includes free school dinners and uniform.

Wow. Round here scholarships are more like marketing tool you get say 5% off the full fee.

That was cool but shows your kids were also highly intelligent and motivated to start with.

I had a scholarship as a kid but it only covered fees. Not travel uniform extras etc. if my parents had been really skint then they wouldn't have been able to afford all these extras.

In fact my dad did pull me out after my parents split but that was for a different reason ( very left wing and to spite my mother)

Proper well rounded then😂😂

I am not sure were yu are getting this from OP.All my dc went to the local state grammar school.They would trounce the local Indepedent schools at sport fixtures and competitive music festivals.Of course way better academic results too , but I guess you would expect that from a selective school.

I haven't RTFT but I would disagree that private schools necessarily produce children that are any better-rounded. A lot of private schools emphasise academic achievement (for the Oxbridge applications) and I've certainly known private school kids who saw extracurricular activities as a waste of time. Those same kids have grown into the sorts of adults who will tell you employers don't care about a single one of your non-academic / non-career achievements. I've experienced this first hand. There are plenty of ex-private school adults who are savagely competitive and will undermine someone else's achievements if it makes them look lacking.

Yes there will be private schools that encourage well-rounded individuals and offer a lot of opportunities that their state counterparts don't have the funding for, but this is by no means all private schools. And plenty of state school children do Scout badges, D of E, a sport and / or a musical instrument.

Why don't you start one OP? What's the point in going on and on. My DD as at an independent school but we do lots of clubs outside school. She also used to do a virtual debate club which we paid for outside school.
In addition to this we pay for additional swimming, tennis, horse riding, hockey, netball, acting, singing, piano all outside school. There are other things she does at school as well.
We also have a few clubs at our school facilitated by parents during their free time. We have lots of parents who also volunteer at the school. I don't understand why state school parents like OP don't do more for their child's school.

Both, simply put. With perhaps a little more emphasis on the parents, who can usually afford to fund all the activities that make a person "well-rounded." To give one example, many of the people on my public school tennis team (myself included) had only taken up the sport in the last couple years. When I transferred to a private school, most of my teammates had had private lessons for many years and were obviously better equipped to thrive on the team.