Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "well rounded" children? Is it the school or the parents?

[Kenthighst]

I know all state schools produce well rounded children eg those kids that are academic, musical, sporty, confident, excel at drama & can try their hand at anything.

But private schools churn out well rounded kids so aibu to wonder if it is the actual school who produce these kids or is it parental input?

Dd socialises with a wide mixed group of state and private you literally cannot tell. It’s about the parents not the school.

Lol, produce people like Boris you mean?

I agree.

We have friends in London who have known dd since she was tiny. They were absolutely astonished when they discovered that she had gone to a state comprehensive... they had just assumed that she was at a private school. You can't tell!

No. These are mostly not private school educated but public school and there's a huge difference. Private schools, as stated elsewhere have smaller classes, more individual attention, often more clubs/trips/opportunities (paid for, obviously) so students get a chance to experience more e.g. school plays, concerts etc. These can raise self esteem and confidence. Students might also might play more sport.
Mostly though I think it's that each child is well known to their teachers and that helps enormously. Problems spotted, intervention, support all help.

Any school can do pubic speaking and teach the kids how to present themselvees -that does not take resource, it should be part of a class lesson

@InTheRainOnATrain Totally disagree. I don’t think you have any idea of how much “leg work”’pvt school parents do. It’s a lot.

I'd say parents but private school for those with bad home lives can be a godsend. You can tell the kids at either type of school who's parents talk to them/take them out/explain things/are genuinely interested in them and their futures. It's not even about doing clubs (affordability) but if the kid wants to learn friends are usually more than happy to give books or instruments to a kid who is genuinely invested.

He was public school educated

The boys dd met recently from a top public super famous school were sadly unpleasant and rude about her being at a state school. The teens from the various normal local private schools have never been so rude and it’s not an issue.

I have 2 kids in a private prep school so I think I have some idea…
My observation is that compared to my friends with kids in state schools I do a hell of a lot less. My children have the option to do just about every extra curricular I could think of at school including things like ballet with an RAD teacher, horse riding lessons and karate. It’s expected that they pick up a musical instrument and the range on offer is extensive including more unusual instruments like the harp. They all play regular sports matches. All I have to do to facilitate any of this is tick a box on a form. Swimming lessons are weekly so no need to arrange those either. The school is also shit hot on 11+ prep starting in Y3, meanwhile my next door neighbour whose DD is at a state but will do private secondary is struggling to find a decent tutor because they’re all full. There’s a space at breakfast and after school club for anyone that wants one whereas I know the nearest state has a waitlist.

Of course state school parents could do all of the above and more, but it would be a lot more legwork wouldn’t it, because the school wouldn’t be doing it all for them?

This is an interesting thread. One thing I do notice is how early some of the state senior schools seem to finish compared with the independent schools. It’s easier to fit in more activities if your day finishes at 5pm (say) than if it finishes at 3pm.

There’s an awful lot of baloney on this thread and huge assumptions/generalisations being made.

Totally agree. You would never see my state school educated eldest as any different to his privately educated friends. But he went to a very middle class comprehensive. He did loads of extra curricular activities including DofE silver, youth leadership, representing GB in sports completions. He’s at a RG uni, is the president of a couple of the societies, does lots of youth work and got a prestigious internship with an offer for post graduation. It was a combination of good state school, engaged parents, lots of cultural capital and quite frankly the money to support his interests.

@Chanxex thank you, you have just proved what I felt already.. If a child has clued in parents who know how where to find activities, can afford & get them there, prioritises learning & can extend that learning it doesn't matter where they go to school X

I have 2 kids in private prep so I was not talking from a position of ignorance. You @InTheRainOnATrain are making HUGE assumptions that the private prep options are all the same. They are not. And the outcomes are not the same either.

I’m really just relaying my own experience- that my DCs do all the classic ‘well-rounder’ activities at school and my friends with kids at state mostly have to arrange them outside school. So I’d say that they work harder to facilitate all those things than I do.

Also, whilst obviously no 2 schools are the same, isn’t it pretty universally accepted that privates usually have more specialist teachers, do more sports, have more clubs on offer and will prepare leavers for 11+ and/or common entrance (in the case of preps and not all-through schools)? Yes it’s an assumption but I’ve toured all the local mainstream state and private schools and I don’t think it’s a massively inaccurate one. I’m obviously not referring to specialist SEN schools or Steiner schools or anything. Just your typical private prep!

But of course free to disagree with me 😀

OP said ‘well rounded’, which is very different from an ‘all rounder’!

I don’t know what prep school is but assuming it’s a primary aged school? My village school takes the kids swimming, sailing, horse riding and they have music and dance lessons and a variety of sport options. Mine did archery for a term. They have a choir and chess clubs and karate etc. I think to assume all state and all private schools are the same is unfair and inaccurate. I don’t for a minute think our school is the only state school in the whole of England that does these things.

Goodness, what a very narrow-minded view.

I love that you’ve put table manners at no 3!

So speaks someone who clearly hasn’t spent much time in private schools.

Well, it was, as mentioned, in no particular order!
Table manners are important though. If you are able to behave normally at a formal dinner, you won’t be judged by the upper classes😉

Depends what you mean by "well rounded"

But generally, the sort of thing you're talking about is much easier to achieve with money.

Lol, yes plenty of state school kids end up at "formal dinner parties!" as daddy celebrates his latest hedge fund bonus.... now which knife do i use for the 1st starter?

Private educated children just have soooo much more opportunities than most state school children.

Might be better to have a more rounded general population than just be happy that only 5% have these opportunities?

It’s the parents. Yes the private schools have all the facilities but the parents need to research it, invest in it, facilitate it, encourage it and fund it.

time and time again I wonder about the parents of some DC at my sons’ schools. The DC don’t do any of the incredible music, drama, sport (of which there are about 27 options) on offer and the teaching is similar to a state school: why are the parents paying £20k a year for a swimming pool, sports psychologist, 30 groundsmen, artist in residence in the school art gallery….none of which their Dc use.

and then all the top musicians and sportsmen/women all have extensive lessons and club commitments out of school: they often can’t get to top of the field just by relying on the school offer. All of this hugely reliant on parent facilitation.