to think that people that have fancy weddings are just trying to show off?

[codhotbod]

been invited to a cousins wedding, its at an outrageous venue, why do people do this? is it just to show off?

We don't have lots of family who'd pitch in, so we had our reception here www.noseleyhall.co.uk/ and ppl said it was the most relaxed wedding they'd been to. No endless standing round having photos taken, fab food & service, & a band that had even the most staid relatives dancing to the wee hours.

Some relatives speculated as to the cost, but it was at least half what they were thinking and more reasonable than a lot of soulless looking hotels & the obligatory disco we were shown.

Yes obviously some people are trying to show off, but I think most just want to have a great day with great memories and they get hijacked by the wedding industry who convince them that if they don't have something they'd never heard of and would never have thought necessary, their wedding will be a hole in the corner affair of which they will be deeply ashamed in years to come and regret forever that they didn't buy those flowers/ favours/ table ornaments. The shot-gun wedding has been replaced by the DIY one.

I think considering the role the wedding industry plays in trying to turn rational people into lunatics for about a year of their lives in the search for profits, is different from getting aerated about specific couples' arrangements. Specific couples can do as they like, no one really cares that much unless they're actually being roped in to be a prop. Recognising that couples can do as they like, doesn't preclude wanting to debate weddings in general and why in our culture, they have become such strange rituals. I suspect it's something to do with the fact that most of the rest of our lives have no ritual at all, so we seize on the one or two occasions our lifestyle offers and run with it. It's a fascinating topic, which is why it comes up with such regularity on MN and always causes fisticuffs.

Oooh I love posts like this!!!

I had a huge, posh, very expensive wedding, WHICH WE PAID FOR!! AND DIDN'T GET INTO DEBT FOR ...... AND FIVE YEARS LATER WERE STILL HAPPILY MARRIED! People still talk about it to this day because the had such a good time.

So Cod, your talking rubbish, don't go I wouldn't want someone so resentful at my wedding anyway!

Its their choice and if they want to spend the money, let them!

we are sneeking off next year, just us, kids and a couple of witnesses, BBQ in the back garden, couple of bottles of moet from asda, sorted.

If I wanted the big one I would go for it, its no ones business but your what your wedding is like.

What i can't get my head round is people who spend ages organising it and then forget to enjoy it, my friend actually worked herself up so much she came out in the worst rash I have ever seen!!! such a shame.

I think that its their wedding and therefore their choice!

I had a relatively lavish do - lovely hotel, string quartet etc etc. It wasn't that I wanted to show off more that we just wanted to have a lovely background for all of our friends and family to enjoy and we could all pretend to be posh for the day!

The drinks weren't even that expensive at our do (I checked bar prices beforehand!).

Everybody enjoyed themselves, we had a great time and our photo's are fab - feedback afterwards was that everybody felt spoiled by having a lovely dinner in fab surroundings - whats the harm?!

OOh, Cod, I'm so sorry, I meant the Cod-wannabe not you!!

Please forgive me?

Maybe they just want to invite their friends and family to a nice place for a celebration. Anyway if you don't want to go I will. Just let me know what you look like and I will sort out an appropriate disguise.

YABU - and you know it!

Snorting - full of mirth at ChocolateRockingHorse's link