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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people that have fancy weddings are just trying to show off?

134 replies

codhotbod · 25/03/2008 12:49

been invited to a cousins wedding, its at an outrageous venue, why do people do this? is it just to show off?

OP posts:
AeroglisseurPleinDesAuguilles · 25/03/2008 13:29

Not that I'm cynical or anything!

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:30

kay, when you say 8k! do you mean that as wow what a bargin or oh i spent 8k?

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:30

"ive noticed the ones that have the fancy weddings tend to be the ones that get divorced quickest "

bollocks - you've just made that up to justify your own prejudices!

kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:31

I mean OMG!!

We probably spent about that on the whole wedding.

AeroglisseurPleinDesAuguilles · 25/03/2008 13:33

Kew...I've noticed it too!!! Hence my original comment!

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:33

oh right kay. now i understand what you mean.

i honestly do not understand the need for such fuss.
if anyone can enlighten me id be happy to hear it

OP posts:
suwoo · 25/03/2008 13:35

I'm bridesmaid in June for my best friend who's getting married here and I can't wait! It is costing more than the figures already mentioned but nobody else knows that. They are currently in a fortunate position and can afford it and would like to treat all their family and friends to a really special day. Roll on June, I say.

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:35

I still think its bollocks You might notice it more because you have a problme with people spending that kind of money. I'll beleive it when I see some proper research.

My sister had a fancy wedding still married after 20 years. My friend got married with 12 poeple present and I still the catering - divorced after 5yrs. I could claim that as a trend but I won't.

kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:36

Its their wedding day!!!!

What more excuse do you need?

If they were getting married in a registry office in jeans and trainers you'd moan they weren't taking it seriously.

As I have already said you dont have to pay for it.

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:36

suwoo i just find that sort of thing really,pretentious and showy

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:37

some people like the fuss.

You don't, therefore you didn't have a fuss. I don't see the need for a wedding at all doesn;t mean that I think anyone who gets marreid is odd or showing off.

What level of spending is acceptable - perhasp you could publish some guidelines?

ComeOVeneer · 25/03/2008 13:38

We had a fancy wedding because it was what we wanted. We paid for it ourselves (apart from £2000 from each set of parents), we didn't get into any debt, and have been married for 8 years (together for almost 17). We choose exactly who we invited, had children there (because we wanted them) and everyone had a blast, collected family together from all over the world and the memories will last forever. Worth every penny IMO.

themildmanneredjanitor · 25/03/2008 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:39

No TMMJ not at all.

ComeOVeneer · 25/03/2008 13:39

If you want to judge, we had ours here

ChocolateRockingHorse · 25/03/2008 13:41

Well really, if you can't show off on your wedding day, when can you? Many can't and so don't show off even on their wedding day, but I would have thought, being reasonable, that the bride and groom should be able to nicely show off a little at their own wedding without people getting too arsy about it..?

kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:41

Looks gorgeous COV,

We had our reception here

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:42

I really think that this gripey-ness about other people spening too much or "showing off" is such an English trait. We really delight at times in disapproving of people "showing off", like its such a terrible crime.

I think people shouldn't get into debt for this kind of things but apart from that I really don't see why it matters so much. Perhaps they are doing it because they can afford it and they think their friends and family would enjoy it. Bet the bride and groom would be pretty sad at your distaste.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 25/03/2008 13:43

And if you want to judge further, we had ours here - no expense spared, because we are very glamourous, important and rich and why shouldn't we show it to the world?

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:44

well whoever said having a car thats bigger than you need is showing off too, well, i agree. there is so many things i think are a waste of money.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:44

don't get me wrong - sneering at people who don't or can't afford to spend a lot of money on their wedding is crass but I personally think it's equally crass to sneer at those who can and do.

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:45

that was me (about the car) - judge away - I live in a three bedroom house in an expensive part of London with only me and DS No excuse for not living in a two bed cottage in a cheaper part of town.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 25/03/2008 13:45

You're just speechless with envy at my wedding venue aren't you? Because none of you can compete.

But it was my wedding day and I deserve the best!

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:47

I will attend any wedding regardless of race, religion or showy-offy-ness. Please send all invites to

Ms Kewcumber
Kewcumber Hall
Kew

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:47

no brochures attached though choc so we can;t judge you for how much you paid...