to think that people that have fancy weddings are just trying to show off?

[codhotbod]

been invited to a cousins wedding, its at an outrageous venue, why do people do this? is it just to show off?

Money in good words Kew. I can't tell you really, it would break you heart that your wedding was so shoddy and cheap in comparison

Cothodbod, if life is such a farking parade of misery gloom and suffering for you, why not just cut your throat and shut up?

Trust you to get married at Shagbrorugh Fio

LOL @ Madamez

i never said life was a farking parade of misery gloom and suffering .

just that i find these weddings v pretentious, and a bit vulgar like folk have forgotten the true meaning of what a wedding is about.

oh well, think ill just have to accept thats how i feel about it.

I have been to some very flash weddings and some very small cheap ones. I thought they were all lovely. I once went to a wedding in what is now Prince Edwards house - virtuaously avoided the prolific and delicious canapes being passed aropund in the hall in readiness for the main event until 2 hours, lots of champagne and no food later strawberries and choclates came round and the speeches started and it doawned on me that this was the main event. Treny bloody standup canapes kind of event.

Stopped for macdonalds on the way home.

I love glamorous and tasteful parties - weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, christenings, whatever...

Generally when people want to show off, it backfires IMO and guests don't enjoy themselves much. When people want their guests to have a lovely time, however, parties can be wonderful.

yes yabu and no they're not just trying to show off.

can't you think of something else to get all het up about?

awww i love weddings.people should do whatever they want.i believe the average cost is @15-20K i am mean so not for me tho

went to one in a scottish castle with classical band, harps, cello. champagne on arrival,silver service waitress etc. they split up after @1yr

another mate had a purvey and everyone chipped in with prepartaion and it was brill. they are still together

" By themildmanneredjanitor on Tue 25-Mar-08 13:38:38
am i being unreasonable to think that people who start threads complaining about the showiness and pretentiousness of social events that they have invited to , are really ungrateful, secretly jealous and deserve to have their invitations revoked and to never be invited anywhere again?"

YANBU

This thread is probably a wind up but I do find it amazing on MNet how people can be so opinionated about other people's weddings.

• If you are outraged that your darling dc were not invited
• If you are resentful that their celebration might put yours in the shade
• If it is too far away and you can't afford to go, don't carp about it
• If it is midweek and you don't want to take time off work
• If you annoyed at them spending money on their wedding, instead of a house/car/boat/holiday whatever

... just politely decline the invitation and wish them well. Why get in a huff over someone else's party?

My mum wanted me to have a white wedding in a church but i did not want to as we were not church goers anyway.
We had our wedding late in April in a wooden building in a forest!
The weather was lovely and lots of flowers out and with the birds singing it was magical.
All went to the local pub later for the evening celebrations.
All cost less than £1,500 and that included the dress!
White weddings are such a rip off..all that debt just for one day.
The fact that you both want to get married should be enough.
AB

Its all relative though isnt it - on how much you earn/have lying around in the bank/under the bed. If you can afford it then why not spend as much as you want on what is supposed to be one of the happiest and most important days of your life? If you cant afford it and still choose to spend £1000's on one day then personally I think its a bit crazy but hey - as long as I wasnt paying for it then I wouldnt care less.

How folk choose to spend their money is up to them. Lots of people go to the pub 5 or 6 times a week/gamble/drive huge cars/spend vast sums on handbags - each to their own and all that. The world would be a very dull place if we were all the same.

But if you aren't in debt at the end of it, have had the day you wished for, everyone enjoyed themselves, where is the harm. My wedding was exactly as I wanted it, the main reason was to declare our love and commitment infront of all our family and friends and have a fabulous party, and it was exactly that, no debt the other end and everyone still comments on what a great day it was even now.

I got married at Clearwell ... Was I showing off ? I don't think so. I just wanted the wedding I had always dreamed of as a girl and wanted my friends and family to have a great time.

For the record, my marriage didn't last 3 years but I'm pretty sure that would still have been the case regardless of the wedding (albeit I might not have felt such an arse about it)

If you want to spend 15k+ on weddings and can afford to then do it.
I find it difficult to spend even £50 on myself but that's the way i was brought up, to watch the pennies.
It's just that people seem to equate love with the amount that anyone will spend on them.
Good things in life are free and all that .

"It's just that SOME people seem to equate love with the amount that anyone will spend on them."

IME the parents of the couple, especially the bride, often get just as much say as the happy couple. My parents paid for us to have the wedding of their dreams and we knew it was very important to them so agreed to it. Since they were paying it seemed only right to give them a lot of say in everything about the wedding. In the end it was worth every penny they spent, the most amazing and happy day. For us, what made it so special was having our family and friends there, all wishing us well and obviously enjoying themselves.

The money spent just paid for nice surroundings, excellent food and a great band and dj. So many people have told us it was the most enjoyable wedding they were ever at. I reckon that with more time effort and organisation it could have been just as much fun with very little money spent. But my parents would never have been as happy as they were on our wedding day and that was important to us.

I have to admit I very much enjoyed my fancy wedding. It wasn't my idea from the start, more something to keep my mother happy as her only daughter was moving abroad (she paid). But I thoroughly enjoyed it for lots of reasons:

it did keep my mother happy, which would be a big consideration with me at any time

we had to get married anyway (rather than just live together) for immigration reasons

it seemed the worthy celebration of a 10 year long engagement, when we hadn't even been able to live in the same country

it was very much a change of life for me: having just finished my PdD, leaving all my friends, starting life in a new country- it felt appropriate to mark that with something big

it was a great opportunity to gather and review the extended family (gosh, he's grown up to look just like his great-aunt!)

it was a great opportunity to squeeze members of both families under one roof and introduce them to each other

the food was good- and I'm a greedy pig!

growing up in the 70's (the Abba decade) I haven't exactly been overrun with opportunities to dance the waltz- and I've always wanted to

it was a chance to say goodbye and thank you to my friends

also a chance for my parents to invite and introduce some of their old friends

it's one more incentive to stick together- can't let a wedding like that go to waste

And yes, 15 years later (that is, 25 years later in the relationship) we are still together and I expect we will stay together 'until death us do part'.

Message withdrawn

Cod Imposter, I had a huge wedding, my dad's idea and he paid for it. Beautiful venue, string quartet, toastmaster, live band, disco and Elvis impersonator for half time (!). We invited everyone we wanted to, they all had a fabulous time and remember it as it stood out (prob due to Elvis). That was 8 years ago and no intention of getting divorced. Sorry to blow your theory.

Each to his own. Either go and enjoy yourself or sit in on your own and continue whinging. You're not paying, after all.

If I could afford a massive wedding etc, I would.

God I would love to swan about somewhere like that venue with the focus on me me me for the day.

Weddings are fab- I love any type of wedding.

Stop moaning- you should be grateful that you have been invited.

What is "half time" at a wedding?

some people really really want a big wedding. Some people don't. Personally think it's a waste of money but tbh I don't care what other people do as long as they're not expecting me to pay for it.

Yes, it's 'showing off', kind of, in a way - insofar as it's a day to be the centre of attention. If it wasn't, then we'd all just fill in a form, get it stamped at the post office and send out 'change of marital status' postcards. But we don't, it is something we do in front of people..that's 'showing off', isn't it?

I showed off at a registry office, in a blue silk suit, and then at the pub in a red velvet dress and was the centre of attention for under about £300 total (reg office, food clothes!). Bargain!

and if you really don't want to go - I'll go in your place, no extra charge.