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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people that have fancy weddings are just trying to show off?

134 replies

codhotbod · 25/03/2008 12:49

been invited to a cousins wedding, its at an outrageous venue, why do people do this? is it just to show off?

OP posts:
hamsterlover · 25/03/2008 13:13

My Sister had her wedding reception there about 15 years ago. She has always loved castles and this was her dream. If its what they want then you shouldn't judge. I think you are being unreasonable

staryeyed · 25/03/2008 13:14

I dont care how much people spend on their wedding as long as:

A- they don't think the wedding is everything, because there is a marriage after which is much more important.

B- they don't get themselves into loads of debt over it (because I think it sets marriage at a disadvantage if you have money troubles to start with)

it does also slightly irritate me when people get too precious over there wedding and want everything to be 100% perfect. IMHO it should be enough that that you are making a commitment in front of friends and family not trying to out do the last wedding or putting on a big show for everyone.

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:15

over the past 10 years or so weddings are going out of control.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:16

"i just find it a bit ostentatious" well don't go then.

Wouldn't be my choice to have a very fancy weeding but I would find it offensive to be accused of the wedding not meaning as much if I did.

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:17

starteyed you are right.

OP posts:
hifi · 25/03/2008 13:17

if they are really trying to show off they will have a free bar.

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:18

well i wouldn't mind that hifi lol

OP posts:
kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:19

Oh so its ok to moan about their choice of venue but if you get free drinks its ok???

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:22

only messing about the free drinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:23

just don't think its what a wedding is all about, thats all.

OP posts:
FioFio · 25/03/2008 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Youcannotbeserious · 25/03/2008 13:23

I went out with a chap once and he was obsessed with the type of wedding he was going to have....

For him, it was definitly about showing off and making himself feel grandios (sp?)

He had all of these ways to incorporate his family crest / colours etc, into the proceedings (And, no, he didn't have a country seat or a title, he was just up his own ar*se!!)

And his list of people he wanted to invite included people he'd met once / hadn't seen for 10 years etc, It was totally surreal!

We only had one conversation about it and I said 'that'll cost over £50K, whose going to pay for that????????' he calmly replied that his fiance would be paying

Strangely, I didn't stick that relationship for long and, even more strangely, no other woman has jumped at his fantastic offer of marriage.

Numpty!

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:24

here here fiofio

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 25/03/2008 13:24

Their money, their choice. Don't like it don't go. Simple.

oxocube · 25/03/2008 13:24

Actually, I have just checked the price on that link and the whole day costs 4k for a wedding with 60 guests which is not too bad as it says it includes everything - from flowers to all sit down lunch, evening buffet, entertainment and music. I have no idea what weddings cost now but you hear of people spending a lot more that this. And it is absolutely beautiful isn't it?

kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:25

Is it any of your business though how much they spend?

They aren't asking you to pay for it!

They can spend what they want, it's their day not yours.

ComeOVeneer · 25/03/2008 13:25

We had a very similar wedding, certainly wasn't showing off, just was what we wanted. Couldn't give 2 hoots what anyone else thought.

Dropdeadfred · 25/03/2008 13:25

why are you pretending to be Cod?

oxocube · 25/03/2008 13:26

oh and lots of wine is actually included

AeroglisseurPleinDesAuguilles · 25/03/2008 13:27

DH and I have been to a six or seven weddings over the years, all lavish, all expensive, all attended by hundreds of guests, all except two ended in divorce! One of those two was our own, ten years ago, which cost about 250 quid and was the best wedding I've ever been to! I can think of better things to spend thousands on when you're just starting married life! Plus, you're not still paying for the 'do' when the decree absolute lands on the doormat!

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:27

come why did you want such a fancy do [geniune question]

OP posts:
kayzisbroody · 25/03/2008 13:28

We wanted to get married at Castle Howard and that was 8k!

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 13:28

I don't really get weddings - I'm not married and I don't currently plan to me. I don't understand big fancy poncy weddings, I don't understand why weddings have to be all about "family" and everyone gets up in arms if you dare not invite children, I don't understand why anyone gives a shit about how much people spend on their weddings.

Why am I on this thread?

Original poster
codhotbod · 25/03/2008 13:29

aero, ive noticed the ones that have the fancy weddings tend to be the ones that get divorced quickest

OP posts:
cornsilk · 25/03/2008 13:29

I like fancy weddings - good excuse to dress up. The only thing that winds me up is if the mother of the bride struts around like a Queen bee, but I usually have a quiet giggle about that anyway.