When did 50/50 become so common?

[Luckylooloostar]

I have a SC and when contact was set up over 13 years ago it was really common to do EOW with maybe a night in the week. No mention of 50/50 ever. Really common among others too around that time.

but Iv noticed a trend over the last few years that seems to be when you split its now 50/50…

Do more men now want this so they don’t have to pay CMS?

maybe nowadays women value their children having an equal relationship with their father over receiving CMS money

OP’s argument makes no sense.
Most single mothers claim that maintenance payments are not near enough to cover the cost of raising a child/children. So a father choosing to have their child 50:50 would by default be worse off than if he just chose to pay the minimum maintenance? Therefore not saving anything but losing money.

If both parents have equal access they both need additional bedrooms, the same amount of food, uniforms , clothes etc.
However it appears that the OP thinks that it’s not the case for single fathers as they normally have childcare provided for free (?) spend no money on uniforms and ultimately save money by parenting their child for half of the time.
Using this argument is basically stating that cms payments are more than the cost of raising a child alone.

Or is it OP that you think it’s only single mothers who incur real costs ?
You appear to have a very low view of men as fathers in general.

@babyproblems Glad you're getting flack for that. If a dad can't organise medical appointments and cook food there's something wrong. Food doesn't have to all be homemade.
Many dads might seem a bit useless but are just used to mum sorting stuff and they step up to the plate when it's 50/50
Feel like a lot of the naysayers are a bit bitter their kids don't have good dads.

What I do find amusing is how step mums are allegedly awful if they don't love their DSC as their own, yet according to some on this thread even a DC's own male biological parent can't love the children as much as a mother can! Just shows how inconsistent/unrealistic expectations can be.

So that's obviously colouring your view.

Wow. I was being kind to you and you’ve stopped to insulting me- thanks! You know absolutely fuck all about me mate so you can do one.

Call me old fashioned, call me sexist but sorry say what you like you cannot take away the incredibly powerful bond formed from the child having grown inside a woman’s body, as though they were part of their body and soul, for 9 months. Maternal instincts and bonds with child are incredibly powerful.

1 in 10 women smoke while pregnant. That just proves that the mother/child bond isn't strong as society likes us to believe.

Or maybe they actually just want to see their kids? Why are women opposed to it? Is it because they want more CM in their pocket ? What an insulting post. Not all men are pigs and most just miss their kids.

🙌🏼
I see some heartbreaking posts from men who miss their kids. The relationship might not have been great but let him be a dad FFS.

its not to avoid paying CS it’s so thru can actually see their kids. What dad wouldn’t want that?

id be concerned if a man was happy just just be EOW

@TerrifiedOfNoise my dh is in the exact same position. It is awful.

50/50 doesn't automatically mean no maintenance. The court decides based on the financial needs of the children involved.

The number of people on here who will swear blind you won't get a penny. I do, and it is the same amount the CMS calculate. Why on earth would I make it up

Maybe you should speak to some children who have grown up in a 50/50 set up & have grown up to be happy, well balanced children with close relationships with both parents

At my friends sons graduation from Uni, which both she & her ex attended together, her son said in his speech at the family meal later that while he appreciated he couldn't grow up in a family with both parents, the upbringing he had, with both parents so involved, was without doubt the next best thing

He had 2 homes, 2 bases from the age of 4.

In our case when we split I was told it would be 50/50 as he was giving me no money! I’m sure lots is because they want to see their kids more but not in every case

She's had children with a man who puts in the bare minimum effort to parent his eldest. Pretty obvious that she's seeking validation about her choice of father.

You don't if you go via CMS court is a different beast. It's definitely rare though.

Bollocks. My view isn't 'coloured'. It's perfectly clear.

It's not though is it.

Because all men aren't arseholes.

We know this to be true.

Not all men who go 50/50 are doing it because of the money.

The Dad in the set up I know is doing it because it suited both the Dad, Mum and their child.

It really isn’t.

You had children with an awful one; most people don’t.

DH's agreement with his ex was 50/50 (back in 2008ish?) but then she moved a long way away so we couldn't facilitate DSS's schooling once he started school, so it had to switch to EOW (and the majority of holidays).

The people I know with DC who have split up mostly have 50/50. In fact, we have friends who have recently divorced and were surprised at his narrative that he 'got EOW but that's as good as you can expect really', because it's absolutely not the case in most situations we know of.

DH would be absolutely devastated if we split and he only saw our DDs EOW. He was seriously depressed for a while after DSS was moved so far away and his contact limited by distance.

I honestly couldn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thought of my choice of father. Couldn’t give a shit about ‘Validation’ from MN😂 It’s actually laughable that’s what you jump too.

Did he not try to stop the move?