Page 2 | Husband coming home late after drinks on daughter's birthday

P0mbears · 2024-02-28T21:17:54+00:00

It's our daughter's 5th birthday today. I picked her up from school earlier (left work early to do so) had cake at home with her and played with her new toys. DH was due to be home around 6.30/7 so should have seen her for bath and bed. He's just arrived home after having some drinks at a work lunch and falling asleep on the train... He won't accept that he should apologise for missing bedtime

mintich · 28/02/2024 22:47

My husband would never do this.
You are right to be angry.

ScierraDoll · 28/02/2024 22:52

What a twat

He does need to pay for this selfishness both to his daughter and you.

Is drinking a problem for him or did he genuinely forget9

LovelyTheresa · 28/02/2024 22:54

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:37

No, but the OP says she finished work early, they had cake, OH wasn't due home till bath/bed time.
So that sounds very much like she chose and planned to have cake without him....meaning he was always going to miss a key part.
And she already has new toys so they either did presents this morning or he missed that too....because he was at work.
So there was no discussion or request for him to come home early. Did he even know there would be a celebration without him?

OP says he had a drink at "lunchtime" so then went back to work?...perfectly reasonable?
Then fell asleep on the train so guessing had to double back
I have missed my junction before and taken twice as long to get home.
Obviously I would apologise but it's not a case of not prioritising my family.

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And this, ladies and gents, is why we still have so many men who are absolutely shit. Gems like this pickme who bend over backwards to excuse shitty, neglectful behaviour.

SlumberDearMaid · 28/02/2024 22:54

’Genuinely forgot’ isn’t an excuse.

That’s as bad.

What kind of man forgets their child’s birthday - at all, let alone on the day?

SpeedyDrama · 28/02/2024 22:58

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:04

You had cake without him?

Did you talk about it before and set the expectation that he should be home early/on time today?
Are drinks afterword his normal routine?

Yes op, did you remind your husband it was your daughter’s birthday and that means an expectation to be home at a reasonable time? Did you also set your expectations for him to get up, get dressed and go to work in the first place or is that part something he can do like a big boy by himself?

Noseybookworm · 28/02/2024 22:59

Not much point in arguing with him if he's drunk. Leave it til tomorrow and tell him he will have to explain to his daughter why he missed her birthday. And remember this day when his birthday comes around, Leave him with the kids and go out and get pissed!

mrsdineen2 · 28/02/2024 23:01

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:37

No, but the OP says she finished work early, they had cake, OH wasn't due home till bath/bed time.
So that sounds very much like she chose and planned to have cake without him....meaning he was always going to miss a key part.
And she already has new toys so they either did presents this morning or he missed that too....because he was at work.
So there was no discussion or request for him to come home early. Did he even know there would be a celebration without him?

OP says he had a drink at "lunchtime" so then went back to work?...perfectly reasonable?
Then fell asleep on the train so guessing had to double back
I have missed my junction before and taken twice as long to get home.
Obviously I would apologise but it's not a case of not prioritising my family.

Show quote history

By quick show of hands, who of us here needed a special request for us to actually bother to see our child on their 5th birthday?

Starspangledrodeopony · 28/02/2024 23:03

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 28/02/2024 21:26

Wow. Putting a random work drinks above his own little girl. That's grim.

Awful isn’t it? What a failure.

MummySam2017 · 28/02/2024 23:04

Oh darling, I’m so sorry. You’ve every right to be annoyed, did he say he wouldn’t apologise to you or your daughter? He has some serious making up to do for the special birthday princess. Hope she had a magical day. Hopefully he’ll see it differently after a sleep xx

Aquamarine1029 · 28/02/2024 23:05

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:37

No, but the OP says she finished work early, they had cake, OH wasn't due home till bath/bed time.
So that sounds very much like she chose and planned to have cake without him....meaning he was always going to miss a key part.
And she already has new toys so they either did presents this morning or he missed that too....because he was at work.
So there was no discussion or request for him to come home early. Did he even know there would be a celebration without him?

OP says he had a drink at "lunchtime" so then went back to work?...perfectly reasonable?
Then fell asleep on the train so guessing had to double back
I have missed my junction before and taken twice as long to get home.
Obviously I would apologise but it's not a case of not prioritising my family.

Show quote history

Your bar is so low it's basically subterranean.

It's absolutely no fucking wonder that so many woman choose to be with such shit men. It's literally what keeps MN in business.

SlumberDearMaid · 28/02/2024 23:05

mrsdineen2 · 28/02/2024 23:01

By quick show of hands, who of us here needed a special request for us to actually bother to see our child on their 5th birthday?

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What gets me, is the mental gymnastics that women male-apologists need to do, to excuse shitty male behaviour - while knowing full well they themselves would never in a million years behave this way to their kids / partner.

It’s boggling.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 28/02/2024 23:07

LovelyTheresa · 28/02/2024 22:54

And this, ladies and gents, is why we still have so many men who are absolutely shit. Gems like this pickme who bend over backwards to excuse shitty, neglectful behaviour.

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Yep.
Blaming the op! Ffs. As if she should have to remind him it is his dd's bday. I despair!

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 28/02/2024 23:07

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:04

You had cake without him?

Did you talk about it before and set the expectation that he should be home early/on time today?
Are drinks afterword his normal routine?

In what world does any parent need to be told in advance to make a fucking effort to be home for their young kids birthday?

Just how much are you going to let men off with fucking appalling behaviour?

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 28/02/2024 23:09

@Rocknrolla21 too fucking true!!! 👏👏👏

cherish123 · 28/02/2024 23:10

Poor daughter 😢

Jk987 · 28/02/2024 23:11

@Mumof2teens79 'Did he even know there would be a celebration without him?'

I think he knew there would be a celebration on his daughter's birthday. Do you think it's his wife's fault for not confirming that? 🤣

SlumberDearMaid · 28/02/2024 23:11

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:37

No, but the OP says she finished work early, they had cake, OH wasn't due home till bath/bed time.
So that sounds very much like she chose and planned to have cake without him....meaning he was always going to miss a key part.
And she already has new toys so they either did presents this morning or he missed that too....because he was at work.
So there was no discussion or request for him to come home early. Did he even know there would be a celebration without him?

OP says he had a drink at "lunchtime" so then went back to work?...perfectly reasonable?
Then fell asleep on the train so guessing had to double back
I have missed my junction before and taken twice as long to get home.
Obviously I would apologise but it's not a case of not prioritising my family.

Show quote history

You’d arrive home after your 5YO had gone to bed on their birthday, having gone for drinks at a work lunch and falling asleep on the train... ?

Wow….

Or let me guess. It wouldn’t even occur to you to do that.

So why are you making up excuse for this man? What could possibly be in it for you to do this……………………………………?

Iwantamarshmallowman · 28/02/2024 23:14

i wouldn't buy this story to be honest. are u sure he didn't fall asleep in somone elses bed?

newyearnewknees · 28/02/2024 23:15

It's terrifying that a woman has already jumped to this man's defence

NerrSnerr · 28/02/2024 23:16

Mumof2teens79 · 28/02/2024 22:04

You had cake without him?

Did you talk about it before and set the expectation that he should be home early/on time today?
Are drinks afterword his normal routine?

Do you really think a dad needs telling that he should come home straight from work so he sees his child on her 5th birthday?

The bar is set so low for some people.

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/02/2024 23:16

It's irrelevant if there was a celebration or not - it's his child's birthday! What sort of parent doesn't want to see their child on their birthday!?!?? I don't think I could get past this. Poor lass.

NamelessNancy · 28/02/2024 23:22

How absolutely fucking awful. Poor DD.

Amybelle88 · 28/02/2024 23:24

Horrible fucker.

My husband would never even consider this.

Poor little girl - I'm sure she loved her time with you 💗 but he's a twat.

2024Melanie · 28/02/2024 23:25

Yeah thats not on.

Is this a one off or is there a problem here with drinking?

Itslegitimatesalvage · 28/02/2024 23:27

Wow. My ex even comes over for the kid’s birthdays. He’ll always move work around to
make sure he can be here for when they get home from school on their birthdays. So all I can say is wow, what a shit dad. Went for drinks and couldn’t make it home for his daughter’s birthday? I don’t think he fell asleep on the train. He just stayed out drinking.