To ask for help with helping my daughter - first heartbreak :(

[tiredmama23]

My 17 year old daughter has had her heart well and truly broken by a guy she's been dating for only a few months. She was totally head over heels (we've all been there at that age I guess), and genuinely feels that her world has ended. It's been made so much worse by the fact he's the guy she lost her virginity to, so really she trusted him. Added to that, he dumped her over text 😫

She only found out yesterday and spent all evening crying, she refused anything to eat. She has come home early from college today still in tears, after calling my partner (her stepdad) from college to collect her while I was work because she "can't face being here". Since they got home a few hours ago she hasn't moved from her bed. I've been in to talk to her and she won't engage, just one word answers.

Things I've tried:

• hugs and general empathy
• telling her she will find someone lots better and he's just paved the way for that
• telling her she's beautiful and was too good for him anyway (I'm obviously biased as she's my daughter but she's a stunning young lady)
• telling her it hurts like hell now but it won't always and I promise it gets better
• telling her we can go for some food and the cinema this weekend just the two of us as a distraction and some TLC for her

However she continues to sob (and sob).

I don't know what else to do, I hate seeing my beautiful and usually bright and happy girl like this. What else can I do? 🙁

That song is now stuck in my head and probably will be all afternoon at work 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣🤣

you booked the morning off to provide support for your daughter

Did I? Where did you read that? I said I wanted the morning off. I didn't say why. My daughter hasn't wanted to talk unfortunately, I've seen very little of her.

What?

Off to work now. Thanks to the normal, nice people who've taken time out of their morning to try and be helpful and supportive, I appreciate that x

Don't try and make her feel better and let her be sad she will get over it in good time. Have you seen the episode of the Gilmour girls where they "wallow" I'd suggest this. Bring your duvets down to the lounge, lie on the sofa and put on a disney film or an old favourite and eat snacks and let her wallow for a bit and the next day just try to get on with life as normal but just check in on her now and again.
For you I would suggest that "am I being unreasonable" isn't the best place to ask these questions though, its completely the wrong forum if you just want everyone to agree with you, "am i being unreasonable" by its very title is inviting people to have differering opinions and you clearly struggle with this. I'd back away from the internet a bit if I were you or maybe try a different board if you have to like "relationships" maybe

And bullies.

@Ramalangadingdong

You're awesome can I just say, you seem right up my street. Thank you for being in my corner, it's appreciated

I have a daughter out of bed and eating food! Woohoo. 🥰 So pleased she's bouncing back!

@Amberjane41

I do not struggle with differing opinions.

I struggle with deliberate unpleasantness, and outright bullying disguised as "differing opinions", which is a totally different thing. Differing opinions, when put across respectfully, can be hugely helpful.

Comments like:

• I’m just here to watch batshittery unfold.

• this thread has been a fascinating insight in to the mind and outlook of a bona fide drama llama

• Reported! lol

.. are very clearly and obviously just attempts to be unpleasant and mocking. Anyone who pretends they can't see that, I am not interested in engaging with.

And ask yourself, if this was 100% a "me" problem, why have other posters seen the same?

You've only been mocked after the sheer amateur dramatics you've posted here when someone else has a different view though. If you'd have disagreed but been rational about it nobody would have mocked. It's the drama llama approach that has caused it

So if other people have said the same does that mean the other people who have agreed with the other people who don't agree with you are also right? 🤔

😂

Fuck me.

Yes I'm back to my own thread which I made which relates to my own life. Shocker.

As an observation, you're also back, aren't you?
Are we going to analyse why that is? Or is this just a one way street where we focus only on an OP's actions? Because ..... bullying is fun, right?

But you did say this thread was harming your mental health earlier? You may as will stick a pitchfork in your eye if you like causing yourself so much upset

Surprise surprise!!!!
It was a previously banned poster bullying me. Only took several attempts to report before action was taken. Disgusting.

So, op is not allowed to ignore people because she doesn't like the way they have addressed her, but you are allowed to mock people if they don't express themselves the way that you want them to? I see.

@Ramalangadingdong
All seems to have gone quiet following the removal of previously banned posters and the deletion of bullying messages. Funny that isn't it.

@addimage
Nope, no one knows what you mean.
Care to elaborate?