To ask how you remain composed? I'm going to lose my job at 11am.

[AbsolutelyCrushed]

My manager has invited me to a "next steps" meeting with HR.

I'm one week away from completing probation today, and they have to give me one weeks' notice. The timing won't be a coincidence.

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

I've done that. Replacement is in place. Everyone is happy (client has asked if I can stay in some capacity, but all is fine). Manager last week asked me "off the record" if I'd like to go back to freelancing - I said I hadn't thought about it but enjoyed being employed. To be honest, as they made me stop all freelancing when I signed my contract with them, I don't have the clients anymore. He said he wasn't aware of any other opportunities coming up in the next 2 months but would ask around.

He's now put a meeting in for 11am with HR and I can't stop crying. I'm the breadwinner, DH can't work due to a disability, and we have a toddler who has just settled into nursery. I'm so upset. I also feel really stupid. How do I get through this without crying?

What a shame.

It's sounds like they've lost an amazing employee.

Personally, although I wouldn't burn bridges to their face, I'd do my utmost to find excuses to "not be available" next time they come knocking.
I'm currently doing that exact thing with an employer I used to freelance for.

Now go back in and negotiate a longer tailing off period and money.

You gave up your business at their insistence.

They left you without that raft.

They should be pressurised and persuaded to give you more because of how they treated you.

You've told us your circumstances and why you can't lose your income.

Make sure they understand it.

Push them.

This! Sounds like they only had to give you a week’s notice and they’ve voluntarily offered you a month gardening leave. Sounds like someone didn’t think through the whole employed thing, which has messed you about as a consequence, but that they do value you given they’re offering more than they need to in the circumstances

I was hoping you had chucked your glass of water all over those grubby rats.
Their loss Op, their loss.

I think it would be reasonable to ask for at least 2 months gardening leave. You can email them

"Following our meeting today, i've had some time to digest your proposal. As you know, I agreed to take a full-time position with you in order to combat IR25 exclusivity issues - despite not really wanting to. In doing that, I had to withdraw my services from the marketplace and my existing client base was forced to find new suppliers.

You have now said that you don't have the workload to keep me on full time, yet you took me on knowing my skillset and whilst I trust that you made the offer with good intention, this is pretty frustrating for me and leaves me with no job and no freelance client base to go back to.

I think it will take me more than a month to return to my 'status quo' and would like to counter propose three months paid "gardening leave" in order to give me time to rebuild my client base.

Please let me know your thoughts

Regards
OP

Oh, OP, you’re not a failure. They’ve messed you around.
These things (I’ve been through it — and I sobbed all the way through my first meeting) feel brutal and personal but they never are.
It will take a little while for you to get your head around this, so be gentle on yourself in the meantime. I know you’ve not asked for advice, but I found it useful to talk to other people who’d been through similar, and I also found keeping a journal (just for the first couple of weeks while it felt particularly raw) helped — partly so I could read early entries back and see how I’d progressed. That reassured me, somehow.
I think your situation is different to mine as you’re on probation still but I have a friend who works in HR (not in my industry) and she gave me some really useful practical advice — what you can ask for etc. As I say, your situation is different, but please DM me if I can help at all.

You're not a failure, OP. They decided to let a good employee go instead of holding onto you for a few months while they picked up work for you or worked out a new role. They behaved really badly — but unfortunately that's business. Sadly you've learned the hard way that training up a replacement is almost always a mistake.

Freelancers are let go and have to face poor management and changed goalposts and deal with arseholes all the time, as you probably know. You need to be hard-nosed about it. Is your DH so disabled he can't work at all? It seems extraordinary that you are having to manage everything on your own.

This company has fucked you over for its own purposes, as companies tend to do. At this stage in your life, with a small child and a DH who can't pick up the reins, I'd suggest you find a job that will bring in money, even if you don't particularly like what you do, and do some freelancing on the side. Belt and braces. Call old freelance clients, call the client you've been working with for the past year and ask for a testimonial. Use every friend, relative and contact you can think of. Good luck.

@Reugny

I've been told never work permanently for any company that you have been freelancing for unless there are a few years between the contracts.

Why is that @Reugny ? & what difference does a gap make?

@AbsolutelyCrushed you aren't a failure none of this is your fault. as others have said, see your month as a great opportunity to take time to rebuild and get new better clients

I have adhd.

I work for myself as I can't be doing with work politics and shit policies/people.

I've have cried too.

But you are resiliant and if you can manage your rsd on a day-to-day job, you're a superstar already. I couldn't do it...

Adhd people do well under stress, once the rsd settles down, go out and find more work/different job or in my case, very often, an entirely new job in a different field.

I 100% agree with @Animatic in asking for 3-4 months pay (all they can say is no) because they have shafted you.
Due to some legislation somewhere you had to either be let go the last time (probably would have been better off if they had) or they took you on as an employee, and you, in good faith, joined the company as an employee.
Now that it no longer suits them to have you as an employee, they are setting you free again. This is a real cat and mouse game and they are toying with you.

I read one of the other posts on this thread "I hope you are able to find sufficient freelance work. Don't be tempted to try and find enough to turn them down in future. It is tempting but work is work, and as a freelancer, it doesn't matter where it comes from." and I somewhat disagree with it. I think if you do become a freelancer again, you need to show them what you're worth and don't allow yourself to be mucked about by them. I would keep myself busy and only as a last resort would I consider going back to work for them. If I did, I'd make damn sure that I was getting paid a hefty sum more than you are now, and that you have a rock solid contract between the two entities.

Best of luck for the future here!

I was tempted to say "screw them", but in the world of freelance, work is work, and one cannot burn bridges. I would expect that a rate rise might be in order though 😉

As far as asking for more money, and the statement that "they shafted you", this is only partially true. The OP actually shafted herself albeit unwittingly and understandably. The way to have prevented this would have been to have agreed a much higher rate to go "perm", and to agree a longer severance before accepting the move to perm.

Both of these would have been possible to ask for, as the OP was giving up other profitable work. Of course, I don't know that she didn't/ didn't try.

Whenever there is an option of conspiracy vs cock-up, it is usually cock-up. I don't suppose the company set out to shaft the OP, it is just how it worked out. They haven't won out of it (apart from maybe in the short term) as they are risking that the OP does no further work for them.

It is just business though.

You’ve managed to unite mumsnet. You can do anything 💐💐💐💐

This 100% ^

You are absolutely not a failure op. They wouldn’t have given you a month instead of a week if you were!!
Good luck

I’m not an expert but if you had various other active clients when you were freelancing for them, IR35 shouldn’t have been an issue? Isn’t IR35 about people who are really employees just dressed up as contractors (so usually have no other work)? Not your situation as a genuine multi client freelancer.

If I’m right then their pretext for wanting you as an employee was false. I am guessing the truth is more that it was less expensive for them to have you as an employee than pay freelance rates. This is supposed to be offset with greater job security, but obviously that hasn’t happened. How shitty of them.

You're not a failure OP, just trusting & they have treated you appallingly.
I would check your contract very carefully - how watertight is the compete clause? Would happy client be able to be your first new freelance client? Or at least endorse your work.

You aren’t a failure. They lured you in under false pretences.

Too true!!

I hope you are stuck into a glass of wine.

From all you’ve said you are very much a success, you just had a bit of bad luck.

I agree with PPs - ask for more gardening leave - ask for 3 months, you might not get it, but you might well get it up to 6 or 8 weeks as a compromise.

You want to word something terribly balanced that makes the point they’ve caused you to loose your freelance pipeline at a time when work isn’t abundant by not thinking their original offer through.

I’d write it in the morning, put a draft on here and you’ll get some good feedback.

Then take a long weekend off and do any crying you have left to do, then on Monday get onto contacting all your contacts.

Good luck. Training your replacement is a RED FLAG.

Those meetings are horrible, they would have done it before and seen tears before. We had 200+ redundancies at our work, in my mid 40s and worked there for 24 years, terrified of going elsewhere. We all had to apply for any jobs left (they had stripped many levels in a cost saving effort), I applied for one that I knew I could do with my eyes closed but I was too expensive for. Participated in interviews and wiped the floor with the rest of them.

The Managing director and woman from HR called me at my desk with no warning just over a week later and asked me to come to HR now. I knew it was to tell me I hadn't got it. Went in, they told me, I managed to squeeze out a "is that it? can I go now?" - must have lasted 2 mins - I went back to my office, picked up my stuff without talking to anyone, and left for the day, drove home sobbing.

Next morning, a Friday, I drove to work and couldn't bring myself to leave the carpark without crying! Texted boss and said I wasn't coming in and I'd see them on Monday.

I sent them an email the next day telling them I did not want any consultations or future meetings face to face, just email me as it was too difficult. I was fine working the 6 months before the redundancy kicked, just couldn't talk about it officially.

Embarrassing and cowardly, but it was the best way to leave feeling I had some dignity intact.

Hope things work out for you. They did for me, got another job and 10 years later I am earning over twice what I did at old place doing something much better. Should have left years before.

"To ask how you remain composed?"

This is not expert advice, by any means, but it is what I do.

I don't try and look on the bright side. I do the exact opposite. I get everything out of my system by imagining the very worst scenarios, like no income at all, being thrown out onto the streets, bank accounts frozen. Then, no matter what happens, it is never as bad as you think. I think we suffer from mood swings a lot, so get into that "trough" now and you will come out the other side.

Fingers crossed for you, my dear. You might be wrong, you know (oh, I hope that it is so!).

... oh, and if the worse comes to the worst, come back on here for a bit of a sob among your virtual online friends. xxx

To me it sounds as though you have not failed at anything, and they have had a management failure in that they did not organise themselves to cope with regulatory changes while keeping you on board in the way they wanted to. They overpromised by hiring you full time when they wanted to keep access to your services, and then you did the right thing for them by training your replacement when the work that they had was not suitable for you, and now they are probably just embarrassed.

The only failure is theirs.

If “gardening leave” means you are still paid, use the time to reconnect with a broader range of clients again, and go back to freelance where you are also not so dependent on whether one particular manager at one place handles things in an effective way.

Everything is going to be ok xx

Hi OP.

If you are still reading, I hope you have had a big cry and an even bigger doughnut/shots of tequilia etc!!

Panic over your circumstances is normal but it sounds like you are extremely skilled and employable/

This is the way companies work, no-one is a family it's all about productivity. They have been strategic to do this before your probation is up. It's how it works. HR- is human resources... emphasis on the resources part and less on the human part

The option are what is best for you. You said you liked being employed, would you consider approaching competitors as the income security in your situation would be good?

Oh an any further work you do with this company will be at 3x your normal rate

Sorry you're feeling down, OP. My advice would be to give yourself the rest of the week to cry/sleep/let off steam. Then come Monday, take stock. Do you want to go back to freelancing or would you prefer to look for another employee position? What are the job opportunities in your area? What do your savings look like? Once you have those answers, you can start deciding on your next steps.
Wishing you all the best.