To ask how you remain composed? I'm going to lose my job at 11am.

[AbsolutelyCrushed]

My manager has invited me to a "next steps" meeting with HR.

I'm one week away from completing probation today, and they have to give me one weeks' notice. The timing won't be a coincidence.

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

I've done that. Replacement is in place. Everyone is happy (client has asked if I can stay in some capacity, but all is fine). Manager last week asked me "off the record" if I'd like to go back to freelancing - I said I hadn't thought about it but enjoyed being employed. To be honest, as they made me stop all freelancing when I signed my contract with them, I don't have the clients anymore. He said he wasn't aware of any other opportunities coming up in the next 2 months but would ask around.

He's now put a meeting in for 11am with HR and I can't stop crying. I'm the breadwinner, DH can't work due to a disability, and we have a toddler who has just settled into nursery. I'm so upset. I also feel really stupid. How do I get through this without crying?

So very sorry to hear that op, what a load of bastards. I’m no HR expert but sending a handhold

You are not a failure. They are utter cunts. "Oh we want you, but on our terms, so sorry that those terms mean you gave up your income-stream for us to mislead you but when we want you again we'll whistle".

I hope that you are able to find many other clients and then fuck them off.

You are not useless. You are professional and good at what you do. I won't say they used you but they are dicks, making you train your replacement then firing you when they've done that?
Take a day or two to regroup, then next week start jobhunting and put out feelers about going back to freelance work.

If/when you work for this lot again, put your price up by 40%.
Good luck.

You’re not at all a failure op, people have different strengths and they knew what yours were before they got you to take the leap. That’s on them. They’re the failures for not thinking things through properly. So sorry it’s such a stressful time- you sound lovely and that you don’t deserve this.

You're not the failure here. You said yourself in the first post that you weren't a good fit for the position they gave you but still managed to do a good job and keep the client happy. Now you can prove how good you are in your own preferred skillset by getting a good reference from them, finding lots of new contracts and then not being available next time they require your "valued" assistance!

I’m sure plenty of people on this thread would be happy to go round and bite them , me included.

ADHD RSD is a heavy one. One of the ways I have started being able to cope with it a little bit is seeing it as redirection. Hopefully sharing my own experience below will illustrate this.

I lost a job over a decade ago in similar circumstances. I was in the final weeks of my probation period, every monthly review (with the CEO) had been great and I’d been told not to worry about anything I was doing great.

But with about a month to go, their attitude really changed. I could feel it and it got me down. I had already booked a week off and really dreaded having to go back.

I came back and was asked to go in to the CEO’s office and was basically told to clear my desk and do it quietly so I didn’t upset any colleagues. They said if I wrote a report detailing my recommendations for the role moving forward they would pay me to the end of the month.

I wracked my brain for what I had done wrong. But I ran into a colleague in a shop about a month later and they said they had a pattern of doing that with people with lots of experience- get them in for a bit to improve things, then let them go just at the end of probation and hire someone cheaper to take everything forward once it had been fixed.

She also said a lot of the people who worked there long term were too scared to say anything for fear of retaliation.

There had also been several people who had been constructively dismissed and had won at tribunal, one who even also won a lot of money from them because they blackened his reputation after he left.

So basically now their unofficial policy was to let everyone go just before the end of probation. Everyone who’d been there longer term was looking to leave and interviewing elsewhere, there were a few people close to retirement hanging on for dear life whilst being given crippling workloads and ridiculous targets to try to get them to retire early.

They also had the HR person show them (senior management) the HR monitoring forms so they don’t hire anyone who had protected characteristics who would have had rights from the beginning of employment (I wasn’t diagnosed at the time).

Looking back I’m glad I don’t work for such an exploitative organisation anymore. It was really a toxic place.

Even with that knowledge I spent a long time blaming myself and wondering what I could have done “better”. It really wasn’t me, it was them.

You are not a failure!

deep breath

you are not a failure
they want you

explore option

• part time with permission to take on other work
• contractor with a monthly retainer

bring your linked in up to date

I think they've behaved abysmally by having you stop freelance to then make you freelance again after you've had to give up other opportunities.

I think you've handled yourself really well @AbsolutelyCrushed. Take today to be extra gentle with yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. Make sure they pay out any other leave owed - annual leave etc.

I had a similar experience OP. Freelanced with a company for years, then persuaded me to take a permanent role. I was there 8yrs in total before they made my role redundant! I cried in the meeting- as had no idea it would be about that.
I got no gardening leave and didn't have the option to return to freelance with them. After the initial upset, it was the best thing ever!
Use your time to find other work. IF this company have work and you want to do it- go ahead, but I'm sure other/better opportunities will come up soon.

Edited to add: If you have a union, I'd contact them to check your paperwork and that you are getting everything you are entitled to. If no union, ACAS are helpful.

You are not a failure and to prove that they still want to work with you and have given you garden leave when they could just have said goodbye. It is awful when jobs end. It is up to you if you want to go back to freelancing or contact some agencies and get subbed for some jobs/interviews. You can choose to get a permanent contract or freelance. You have skills, remember that they got you this job in the first place.

@EcstaticMarmalade what a horrific experience for you and anyone at that workplace. I'm really glad you found out the truth. Shame on them & HR!

The fuckers. I was so willing you on.

I am sure in the long term that things will work out, but that's not the point.

Also, what idiots, how can a project change from strategic to operational just like that? Are they unable to plan a project?

You know, I'd go back. Say you took it in good will, that you are the breadwinner and you'd like three months gardening leave as compensation for loss of income - they may then give you at least two months instead. I don't think you have a foot to stand on legally, but no way would a bloke just take it like that.

This. I'm angry for you.

WOuld another employed position be more secure for you? Use the gardening leave to look around? This could be a springboard, I'm sure they'd give you a good reference.

Maybe I'm petty, but I'd use the months gardening leave to find a new permanent job instead and then let your current employer know that you feel the relationship has broken down, as you feel messed about, to the point you don't feel comfortable doing freelance work for them.

Seems to me like that is a really shitty thing they have done to you
Making you give up all your clients to work for them
Then deciding after a year to sack you ..
What an awful company

Also ... just check with ACAS that your previous freelancing doesn't constitute employment. I'm not sure of the rules, but it may be worth it.

I'm no expert, but I think they should have given you longer gardening leave than that to build back clients. Doesn't seem enough.

Oh OP I really feel for you, I had exactly the same thing happen last year. Successful long term freelancing relationship, offer of a permanent job and all smiles and congratulations and we love your work, positive, glowing reviews, was literally called in for praise the day before I was fired (super toxic as they obviously knew then…) and then the coldest, least fucks given conversation that lasted about five minutes and was basically just “do one” for absolutely no reason, a week before I was due to pass probation. Some companies/operations managers/HR people are just toxic nightmares who love the power and playing God. The whole situation really messed me up and I basically had a bit of a breakdown. It destroyed my confidence in my ability to do my work, and I’ve got absolutely zero faith or trust in any kind of management or HR person. The good news is that it will pass - I’m turning freelance work away, and will never ever go full time for a company again.

This sounds really horrible and upsetting but surely it is somewhat the nature of freelance work and it is always the risk of the probation period unfortunately.

The way they’ve gone about it has been awful, I would not be working with them again on any basis. Chin up OP, take a couple of days to regroup then get back out freelancing

Apart from the fact you enjoyed the stability of being employed this doesn't necessarily have to be a negative. You get a month paid to rebuild your freelance network (if you are still on probation you couldn't have been there long your old clients may be thrilled you are back) and get back to doing the work you actually enjoy. Now that you know you like the stability of employment can you get a part time role in an organisation for part of the week with some of that stability and freelance the rest of the week?

You are not a failure in the least. They have been very unfair and messed you around. You have a month, which is better than you expected in your OP, but obviously less than ideal. Good luck!

You are not a failure and I don’t read this to be any reflection on you whatsoever. On the contrary, they like working with you but simply don’t have enough work to keep you occupied. Perhaps they should have thought this through more, also maybe they thought you would be open to different types of work. I think the months gardening leave to build up your client base is a reasonable offer in the circumstances.

You are not a failure. They can’t source enough work, that is their failure not yours

Well said. Focus on how good you are and how well you did in your freelancing role.

Give yourself today to let it wash over you - and then begin to focus on the future from tomorrow.