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Original poster

To ask how you remain composed? I'm going to lose my job at 11am.

189 replies

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 10:39

My manager has invited me to a "next steps" meeting with HR.

I'm one week away from completing probation today, and they have to give me one weeks' notice. The timing won't be a coincidence.

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

I've done that. Replacement is in place. Everyone is happy (client has asked if I can stay in some capacity, but all is fine). Manager last week asked me "off the record" if I'd like to go back to freelancing - I said I hadn't thought about it but enjoyed being employed. To be honest, as they made me stop all freelancing when I signed my contract with them, I don't have the clients anymore. He said he wasn't aware of any other opportunities coming up in the next 2 months but would ask around.

He's now put a meeting in for 11am with HR and I can't stop crying. I'm the breadwinner, DH can't work due to a disability, and we have a toddler who has just settled into nursery. I'm so upset. I also feel really stupid. How do I get through this without crying?

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 28/02/2024 12:16

Listen to Gayle abcdef loudly. Makes me feel better when wronged

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2024 12:16

I'm no expert but I don't reckon they'd offer a month's pay to someone they thought was shit when they could just get rid of you

SlightlyJaded · 28/02/2024 12:22

Sorry OP. They are wankers playing with people's livelihoods and self worth.

Can you go back to the clients you lost when you took the contract and tell them that you have decided to re-enter the freelance world? It might be cringe making the initial contact, but perhaps a couple of them would be glad to have to back as an option?

Keep pushing for new clients. Imagine the joy of not being available for their project because you are too busy elsewhere.

Cry today. But it will work out. Promise.

PingvsPong · 28/02/2024 12:23

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2024 12:16

I'm no expert but I don't reckon they'd offer a month's pay to someone they thought was shit when they could just get rid of you

This OP.
Also, I don't understand how you could've 'freelanced' for years doing exactly what you wanted, but those projects disappeared the moment you made permie. And are now going to re-appear once you become a freelancer again.

Your only mistake here was being naive and telling the director you wanted to do something else. Before the end of your probation. I'd have sniffed around, seen what was there before implying I was unhappy but they've behaved terribly.

It's not your fault, chin up, personally I'd ditch them and find better employers.

Newchapterbeckons · 28/02/2024 12:29

I think they value you greatly and you now having gardening leave to figure it out and move forward. You may come to see it as a blessing in disguise.

CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy · 28/02/2024 12:31

You’re not a failure OP. Can you reframe it like this: see it not as permanent employment you’ve lost. Instead see it as a big contract you just finished. Flowers

Gatorpickle · 28/02/2024 12:31

123ZYX · 28/02/2024 10:46

Is a quick call to ACAS worthwhile? I'm not sure how continuous service works if you've been a contractor then employed in effectively the same role

No. If you are a contractor you are employed by an agency and not directly by the employer.

Plus, the OP was not a contractor; s/he was freelance. There is a difference.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 28/02/2024 12:35

Take the gardening leave and use it to either rebuild your freelance work or seek permanent employment elsewhere or a mix of the two if you prefer. When this company ask you to freelance again, either triple your rates or refuse saying you no longer have a time to accommodate their requirements.
You’re successful and you will continue to be so, use this as a learning curve that has broaden your knowledge base and have learnt your true worthiness.

Crikeyalmighty · 28/02/2024 12:40

@AbsolutelyCrushed I'm so sorry- but they are probably being truthful - my son lost a similar job at one point because he was there to service a particular need with a particular client and they lost that client and didn't really have other work at that time needing his skill set- very large companies have what they call a'bench' in many instances and pay for you to do nothing- but not every company can do that

Carefree1 · 28/02/2024 12:41

@AbsolutelyCrushed sorry that you are going through this right now.
Would it be rude of me to ask what it is you do and what industry? I work for a consultancy who are recruiting lots of roles due to expanding the business.
Of course, not necessarily for the right now, as it’s very fresh, but do comment if you’d like to share.

BeenThere0 · 28/02/2024 12:44

You're not a failure, OP. These things happen to the best of us. Do as much as possible of physical exercise (even walking) - we all need to stay physically active (as much as we can) to stay sane.

Cerealkiller4U · 28/02/2024 12:45

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 10:39

My manager has invited me to a "next steps" meeting with HR.

I'm one week away from completing probation today, and they have to give me one weeks' notice. The timing won't be a coincidence.

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

I've done that. Replacement is in place. Everyone is happy (client has asked if I can stay in some capacity, but all is fine). Manager last week asked me "off the record" if I'd like to go back to freelancing - I said I hadn't thought about it but enjoyed being employed. To be honest, as they made me stop all freelancing when I signed my contract with them, I don't have the clients anymore. He said he wasn't aware of any other opportunities coming up in the next 2 months but would ask around.

He's now put a meeting in for 11am with HR and I can't stop crying. I'm the breadwinner, DH can't work due to a disability, and we have a toddler who has just settled into nursery. I'm so upset. I also feel really stupid. How do I get through this without crying?

How long was your probation? Essentially if it’s under 2 years they can rid of yoh for any reason. Regardless of probation

WimpoleHat · 28/02/2024 12:47

I hope that you are able to find many other clients and then fuck them off.

Absolutely. Or - when they really need you - triple your rate!

pontipinemum · 28/02/2024 12:47

You're not a failure. I think they have really let you down taking you on as an employee only to revert to the freelancing just before probation is up.

I wouldn't say no now, not if you need the work. But I would be working towards not having them as your clients

HappiestSleeping · 28/02/2024 12:51

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 11:24

Done. Took less than four minutes.

They want to return to a freelance relationship, as they don't have any permanent full-time work that uses the skillset that I have, but they think it'd be a loss to lose it.

Their offer was gardening leave for a month so I can find freelance work. They said they'd see it as a big net loss to not work with me again, but just don't have enough of the work that I enjoy and am good at to keep me full-time. Lots of nice words about really valuing me, but I'm not sure how much of that to believe, even if he did say that he knows it sounds weasel-y but really means it.

I cried but stayed mostly composed, and I'll have a think about things like testimonials that could maybe help... Or perhaps asking what the freelance landscape is like with them right now.

Thanks for all your hand-holding. I feel like such a failure.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel like a failure. This is unfortunately a reality of business.

The learning here is for you to ensure that you look after yourself in future as this company wanted their cake and eat it. It is perfectly possible to write terms into a permanent contract that protect you from this a bit more.

The whole IR35 debate is interesting as a good many companies don't actually invest time to understand the rules and learn that they don't need to be inside IR35. If you had other clients, and were not treated as an employee (no company email, not appearing on their internal directory etc.) you could probably have been outside.

I hope you are able to find sufficient freelance work. Don't be tempted to try and find enough to turn them down in future. It is tempting but work is work, and as a freelancer, it doesn't matter where it comes from.

Have confidence that you are good at what you do, and that the work will come.

inamarina · 28/02/2024 12:56

Istheworldmadorisitme · 28/02/2024 11:32

You're not the failure here. You said yourself in the first post that you weren't a good fit for the position they gave you but still managed to do a good job and keep the client happy. Now you can prove how good you are in your own preferred skillset by getting a good reference from them, finding lots of new contracts and then not being available next time they require your "valued" assistance!

This. You’re not a failure, OP 💐
They insisted you on hiring you, then they put you in a position that wasn’t right for you (even though they knew what your skillset was), and you still managed to do a good job and be praised by the client.
You sound capable, whereas they sound chaotic.

Goatymum · 28/02/2024 13:02

You’re not a failure - losing a job or redundancy is awful. Hopefully you’ll build your client base up again and you’ve got a month’s buffer.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 28/02/2024 13:02

They sound like as others say wanting it all ways, having their cake and eating it but also realised due to IR35 this was no good for them financially.

The way they changed the project you were working on was dreadful and then to use it as a way to switch you back to freelance when they knew you wanted/needed a permanent role yet haven't given you a chance with your project is appalling. I suppose you probably don't even trust them to return to work freelance for them?

I'd do as others have said, accept the gardening leave, don't burn your bridges with them but go on linkedin and update your profile, get testimonials and look for other perm roles like the one you've done.

Companies right now, for marketing/finance reasons are changing the goalposts all the time re roles and employees are sitting tight in roles and not leaving as there's not a lot out there.

AdoraBell · 28/02/2024 13:04

I haven’t RTFT but just wanted to say You are not a failure OP

WhisperGold · 28/02/2024 13:14

Negotiate. Ask for 3 months, settle for 2.

ginasevern · 28/02/2024 13:14

Been in a similar position OP, also got ADHD. Sending good vibes your way. You'll get them and you'll be fine.

babyproblems · 28/02/2024 13:17

pjani · 28/02/2024 10:45

Maybe accept that you might cry but that's completely understandable.

Firstly, be open to the idea that they might have ideas about keeping you on. Hold onto some hope. Alternatively, they could and should pay you out.

I would write some notes down, about what you'd like to say, and say them through your tears. For example:

'I have done years of good work for you. I had faith in you as an employer. I lost my other clients by agreeing to work full-time with you. I think it is your responsibility not to destroy my life - given my DH who can't work due to disability and my toddler - to pay me out/ contract with me for 35 hours a week tapering off over time so I can find other clients.'

Try and go in with some fixed asks in mind. They don't want to be 'those people' and it's probably not that impossible for them as an organisation to throw £10K your way, or whatever.

Edited

I think this is right. They’ve really fucked you about!!!!! You sound like you are good at your job- it will be ok. Xx

TheWayTheLightFalls · 28/02/2024 13:17

Nothing to add but sending you good wishes OP.

babyproblems · 28/02/2024 13:18

Also op don’t work for them again if you can afford it!!! Xx

Littlegoth · 28/02/2024 13:19

Speaking as an HR professional, what a bunch of dickbags.

Something similar happened to me years ago. It was awful and scary. Six months later when they asked me to go back I politely declined - I was far too busy with clients who treated me well.

Tough day today but you are going to be ok. You are good at what you do. Claim UC from today (just in case) and get the feelers put out. I hope you are so busy that you have to politely decline when they come calling again.

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