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Original poster

To ask how you remain composed? I'm going to lose my job at 11am.

189 replies

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 10:39

My manager has invited me to a "next steps" meeting with HR.

I'm one week away from completing probation today, and they have to give me one weeks' notice. The timing won't be a coincidence.

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

I've done that. Replacement is in place. Everyone is happy (client has asked if I can stay in some capacity, but all is fine). Manager last week asked me "off the record" if I'd like to go back to freelancing - I said I hadn't thought about it but enjoyed being employed. To be honest, as they made me stop all freelancing when I signed my contract with them, I don't have the clients anymore. He said he wasn't aware of any other opportunities coming up in the next 2 months but would ask around.

He's now put a meeting in for 11am with HR and I can't stop crying. I'm the breadwinner, DH can't work due to a disability, and we have a toddler who has just settled into nursery. I'm so upset. I also feel really stupid. How do I get through this without crying?

OP posts:
betterangels · 28/02/2024 13:19

YetAnotherSpartacus · 28/02/2024 11:28

You are not a failure. They are utter cunts. "Oh we want you, but on our terms, so sorry that those terms mean you gave up your income-stream for us to mislead you but when we want you again we'll whistle".

I hope that you are able to find many other clients and then fuck them off.

Definitely agree with this. Hope you find something else and won't need them.

Emelene · 28/02/2024 13:24

Im sorry this happened to you. You are not a failure. Sending big hugs x

Todayzname · 28/02/2024 13:24

Sorry to hear about this.

Make sure you have your own copy of contacts.

Send all of your works emails to your own personal account.

Treat them outwardly pleasantly - but inwardly put yourself first.

oatmilk4breakfast · 28/02/2024 13:30

@AbsolutelyCrushed you're not a failure. casting around now as don't know what industry you're in, but try reaching out to Leapers.co - lots of people have been in similar positions to you. remember, it's not you, it's them

coxesorangepippin · 28/02/2024 13:38

Get yourself on LinkedIn

Sell yourself, hard

All the buzz words

coxesorangepippin · 28/02/2024 13:39

Treat them outwardly pleasantly - but inwardly put yourself first.

^^

This. This in every job, that anyone ever has.

NonPlayerCharacter · 28/02/2024 13:45

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 11:24

Done. Took less than four minutes.

They want to return to a freelance relationship, as they don't have any permanent full-time work that uses the skillset that I have, but they think it'd be a loss to lose it.

Their offer was gardening leave for a month so I can find freelance work. They said they'd see it as a big net loss to not work with me again, but just don't have enough of the work that I enjoy and am good at to keep me full-time. Lots of nice words about really valuing me, but I'm not sure how much of that to believe, even if he did say that he knows it sounds weasel-y but really means it.

I cried but stayed mostly composed, and I'll have a think about things like testimonials that could maybe help... Or perhaps asking what the freelance landscape is like with them right now.

Thanks for all your hand-holding. I feel like such a failure.

Redundancies are never the failure of the redundant person. It's absolutely infuriating, but with the odd exception, they are the failure of some incompetent higher up who made shit decisions and now has to compensate for that by axing someone else.

Your case sounds absolutely typical. Morons higher up didn't know what work needed to be done or how much of it, got you in the wrong capacity and after you were on board, realised they had fucked up. It is so, so infuriating that the people who can't do their jobs are the ones who get to decide to sort the problem by axing yours.

It's awful but it's not your fault. If I hired someone only to realise there wasn't enough work before probation was even done, I'd be hugely embarrassed. They should be.

RhubarbGingerJam · 28/02/2024 13:57

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 28/02/2024 12:35

Take the gardening leave and use it to either rebuild your freelance work or seek permanent employment elsewhere or a mix of the two if you prefer. When this company ask you to freelance again, either triple your rates or refuse saying you no longer have a time to accommodate their requirements.
You’re successful and you will continue to be so, use this as a learning curve that has broaden your knowledge base and have learnt your true worthiness.

This.

Dh was head hunted for a job we moved fair distance for it - 2 year and 1 month he was made redundant - his department got basally hit badly as top manager was moving up with company just taken over bit before.

Worst time DH sole wage earner and me pg and our substantial savings had just gone into buying our first house - but it did get DH back to his long term goal faster career wise - short term was bloody awful and took another short term job though with higher pay before he got on to better job.

Dh kept on good terms with everyone and does seem them at industry events - whole event considered massive misstep now - they lost in demand technical staff that they knew they'd struggle to replace but USA parent company insisted and then seem shocked couldn't at that location easily replace.

It was awful experience but did eventually led to better for us all.

MikeRafone · 28/02/2024 14:09

I feel like such a failure.

you've been scammed

they couldn't keep you on as freelance due to regulations but now they can have you as freelance

go out and collect your clients, build them up and when this company ask you to do work - whatever the lay of the land, lie and see if you can squeeze them in - but hopefully you'll not need to

ifIwerenotanandroid · 28/02/2024 14:12

Only read the OP's posts but I want to say:

Oh my dear, you're not a failure. You're so far from a failure that it's hard to find the words to say it. You're an absolute heroine, being the breadwinner, taking care of your family & performing magnificently in your job even when they moved you onto a different line of work. You made a success of it; your client loved you & wanted to carry on working with you.

I hope it all works out & I hope you will realise how wonderful you are. Feel the feelings now & when you're ready, dust yourself down & rebuild. You can do it.

BirthdayRainbow · 28/02/2024 14:12

I'd be doing everything I could never to work for them again. Awful way to treat someone you pretend to value.

You Are NOT A Failure!

They have failed in decency.

Careercakeeater · 28/02/2024 14:13

WhisperGold · 28/02/2024 13:14

Negotiate. Ask for 3 months, settle for 2.

This. Explain that it takes more than a few weeks to build up a client base and see if you can get the gardening leave extended for an additional 1 or 2 months. This will reduce the pressure on you which in my experience can impact the way you come across in interviews / meetings / pitches. Best wishes

thesandwich · 28/02/2024 14:21

Agree with negotiating. Ask for 2 months or a retainer salary.

Flyeeeeer · 28/02/2024 14:21

You aren't stupid OP, nor a failure. You took the job in good faith and they have let you down, moved the goalposts and pushed you under a bus. Absolutely not your fault. You sound like a great employee and you will find clients again soon enough.
This happened to me too, moving from SE, to employed, then got made redundant, got back into SE 2 weeks later and am much happier now. Please PM me if you want to talk.

Beautiful3 · 28/02/2024 14:33

At least they've given you a month gardening leave. That gives you time to pick up some free lance work. To be honest with you, I would never work for these people ever again, not even as a free lance.

acatcalledjohn · 28/02/2024 14:36

Essentially, I've freelanced for them for years, but they said last year they'd have to stop giving me work due to IR35 unless I accepted a full-time job. I was nervous, but did - but the project they gave me changed, and turned out to not be my skill set. I've done a fine job, the client is really happy, but it's not what I want to do. I had a chat with a director a while back and he said they think I'm great and would find me something else, and just wanted me to be happy. We agreed I'd suggest and then train up a replacement for this project, and they'd find me work closer to what I usually do, and am good at.

Is any of this in writing? Because if it is I'd strongly suggest following @pjani advice and negotiating with them given you moved to a perm role in good faith.

Even if they haven't put it in writing, I would still try to negotiate, referencing what was said, when and by who.

Animatic · 28/02/2024 14:38

AbsolutelyCrushed · 28/02/2024 11:24

Done. Took less than four minutes.

They want to return to a freelance relationship, as they don't have any permanent full-time work that uses the skillset that I have, but they think it'd be a loss to lose it.

Their offer was gardening leave for a month so I can find freelance work. They said they'd see it as a big net loss to not work with me again, but just don't have enough of the work that I enjoy and am good at to keep me full-time. Lots of nice words about really valuing me, but I'm not sure how much of that to believe, even if he did say that he knows it sounds weasel-y but really means it.

I cried but stayed mostly composed, and I'll have a think about things like testimonials that could maybe help... Or perhaps asking what the freelance landscape is like with them right now.

Thanks for all your hand-holding. I feel like such a failure.

Ask them for 3-4 months pay. Don't let them get away with just 1 month because of "nice words".

Londonrach1 · 28/02/2024 14:41

You not a failure!

Wonderfulstuff · 28/02/2024 14:42

The exact same thing happened to me OP. Just wanted to say that so you don't feel so alone. Freelanced, IR35 came along, asked to go perm (for less money), oh we can't actually afford you as you're not needed fulltime - thus proving I should have stayed freelancing and that IR35 wasn't really applicable to this role which is clearly responding to a temporary business need.

It's a horrible shock but you are talented and will survive.

jay55 · 28/02/2024 14:47

You're not a failure, they're dicks.

Best of luck with finding some new, better, clients.

leafglow · 28/02/2024 14:51

you're better off out of that company considering they treat you like that! cut contact completely. With every door closing another opens. Think of it as a time to think what you really want to do with your life! There will be other opportunities. Also you can reach out to all your older clients and say you are available again, go on linkedin etc and make posts saying you're available for XXX. You will be ok.

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/02/2024 15:00

Have a wee wallow then get back on the freelance horse, get in touch with old contacts and clients.

When the old company come looking for freelance work ensure they pay more than anyone else and suggest that you can't really guarantee you can fit them in so they'll need to pay a monthly retainer.

Fuckers. Absolute fuckers. And idiots too!

Purpleandredandyellow · 28/02/2024 15:24

123ZYX · 28/02/2024 10:46

Is a quick call to ACAS worthwhile? I'm not sure how continuous service works if you've been a contractor then employed in effectively the same role

100% in my jurisdiction the agency workers act would have applied and you are therefore well over your 1 year continuous employment period.

fetchacloth · 28/02/2024 15:40

Herdinggoats · 28/02/2024 12:03

You are not a failure. They can’t source enough work, that is their failure not yours

I would view it the same way really. It's their failure.

JFDIYOLO · 28/02/2024 16:07

I'm on the last two days of my 18 month contract. I've also been through the 'called to the office and terminated' thing on a previous role. It's scary - and exciting.

It's easy to find yourself dragged down into the gloom when this happens.

Hard though it is, it's essential to drag yourself back up. Because no-ones going to do it for you.

So:

Grab the gardening leave. Look on it as money for nothing.

Meanwhile, tomorrow:

Compose an email and make contact with ALL your previous clients. You're available!

Ask them for recommendations and testimonials.

Then:

Remind yourself of all your achievements, skills, education, training, what you've done for them and others.

Polish up your website, your LinkedIn, your CV, etc.

Connect and keep up with everyone of note from your current employer and on LinkedIn.

Keep ALL the balls in the air, careful not to drop any.

Next time, whatever they say, continue your freelancing stream of income. You can do it discreetly, by word of mouth, reconnecting with clients, etc. Your current employer doesn't own your future.

All the best