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AIBU?

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Original poster

Colleague going to same hotel

144 replies

BG2015 · 28/02/2024 07:12

Last year my colleague (male teacher) went to Cape Verde during the Easter holidays. We're both in our 50's. He's a great colleague and we have always got on being similar ages.

I talked to him about his holiday at the time and he said the hotel was great and he'd recommend it. So my DP and I decided to book it for the 2 week Easter school holidays, as we wanted to go to Cape Verde and the reviews, plus the personal recommendation swung it.

We booked it last year, a good 10 months ago.

Yesterday my colleague asked me when we were going and I told him and said how much we were looking forward to it.

He then told me that he and his wife have also booked a last minute weeks break to the same hotel.

Initially I found this quite amusing (as did many of the other staff) but now I'm a bit annoyed.

I know he's within his rights to book what ever holiday and hotel he wants to but this has really put a dampener on my holiday and will make things really awkward.

Friends have said I should change hotel, but why should I?

OP posts:
Sunnydays0101 · 28/02/2024 10:18

If you feel awkward about this, you change the hotel. Your colleague went there last Easter, enjoyed it - did you not think he might rebook for this year?

CaputDraconis · 28/02/2024 10:24

If it's one of the Riu's (and they dominate the islands) then you will be unlikely to see him unless you specifically agree to meet up. They are huge.

I have been to 3 different Riu's in Cape Verde across both Sal and Boa Vista, they have so many pools and restaurants and long beaches. So unless you want to spend time with him you will be able to easily avoid him.

Angelsrose · 28/02/2024 10:25

YABU. Maybe you shouldn't have booked the hotel that your colleague told you about. I think he has more right to be annoyed than you, although he probably isn't as he will just go about his own business.

ConsistentlyElectrifiedElves · 28/02/2024 10:45

We ended up on the same holiday as DH's colleague last year. It was fine. Bumped in to them a few times and had a brief chat and met up with them one evening for drinks.

It really wasn't an issue for us.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2024 11:04

Opyou said you get on well. Is their a frisson? A. It of flirty banter to get through the day? That partners don't know about?

TraitorsGate · 28/02/2024 11:09

xsquared · 28/02/2024 08:35

This is either a reverse or a wind up.

You booked a hotel that was recommended by said colleague, so it makes sense he would book somewhere he know he likes. Why should he change hotels just because of your issue?

There was an almost identical thread before

GrandHighPoohbah · 28/02/2024 11:11

I would arrange to meet for dinner or a drink for one evening half way through the holiday. That way it limits and defines the socialising expectation, so you're not awkwardly wondering whether to suggest meeting outside of that.

clothearedpotatohead · 28/02/2024 11:18

Hmm definitely get why it’s annoying!

I suppose given that he knew you were already going there this year, this time he has knowingly chosen to go on the same holiday at the same time.

Just because he went there last year it’s not ‘his’ place. Obvs it’s not your place either OP but I do think it’s annoying of him to booked for the same place at the same time when he’s known for 4 months you’re already going there

If it was me I’d have just looked for something different (there are a million options out there!), I wouldn’t want to be on a school trip for my annual leave. Surprised he didn’t feel the same way.

clothearedpotatohead · 28/02/2024 11:22

Sunnydays0101 · 28/02/2024 10:18

If you feel awkward about this, you change the hotel. Your colleague went there last Easter, enjoyed it - did you not think he might rebook for this year?

I think changing hotels now would be even more awkward!!!

Cosyblankets · 28/02/2024 11:22

He recommended the hotel because he likes it.
You booked it because he recommended it.
You're off at the same time because you both work in same school
It's hardly unusual.
Just say hello
Or god forbid..... have a drink with them

Aviee · 28/02/2024 11:31

I hated Cape Verde and I've always loved everywhere I've been so I'd change it totally if I were you.

The massive TUI hotel had a brothel with very very young girls working in it next door and the reps just said yes we always cross over the road when walking past.

Beezknees · 28/02/2024 11:44

Aviee · 28/02/2024 11:31

I hated Cape Verde and I've always loved everywhere I've been so I'd change it totally if I were you.

The massive TUI hotel had a brothel with very very young girls working in it next door and the reps just said yes we always cross over the road when walking past.

Same here. I found it very boring as well!

harriethoyle · 28/02/2024 11:57

Hold on - it was HIS recommendation! You should be apologising to him not vice versa! 😂

user1469908675642 · 28/02/2024 11:58

I’m old enough to have been travelling before the internet, so you had to buy guide books, one, The Lonely Planet…they used to say “If you like it here, don’t tell anyone”. Good advice!

boatgirl81 · 28/02/2024 12:02

I am being nosey, we are going to Cape Verde at Easter as well. What hotel is it? We are going to the Rui on Boa Vista.

BreatheAndFocus · 28/02/2024 12:08

YABU to be annoyed. Just go. Don’t change your hotel. It’s not a big deal. If anyone copied anyone else, it was you copying him. You probably won’t even see him anyway.

Bournetilly · 28/02/2024 12:08

He went to that hotel at the same time last year so I think it’s very unreasonable to expect him not to go again. You have the same holidays so it’s not as though he could go at any time in the year.

I wouldn’t want to stay at the same hotel as a colleague though so if you want to change hotels that’s understandable. It depends how big the hotel is, is there multiple pools etc? If it’s a big resort you probably won’t see him much and just say hi if you do.

Hadjab · 28/02/2024 12:10

I went to Cape Verde 15 years ago. Quite frankly, I'm annoyed that you, your colleague and the Cape Verdeans have the temerity to copy me!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/02/2024 12:11

YABU and ridiculous

Flamingofeathers · 28/02/2024 12:15

“Why should I?” Maybe because you’re the one who’s bothered about him being there?

Quizine · 28/02/2024 12:24

If you feel awkward and irritated about it then my advice is to change hotels pronto. I think you will be on tenterhooks during the stay and might feel obligated to be social with him and wife.

Personally I would hate being in the same resort (not to mind hotel!) as a colleague or even acquaintance. It can get awkward as I feel the need to avoid them or feel I have to talk to them every time I see them and they probably feel the same.

It did happen once in funny circumstances actually. Years ago my friend and I being young and adventurous took a ferry to Israel (Tel Aviv) from Cyprus during our two week package holiday. It was an overnight trip and a four berth cabin that we had to share. Now guess what.... a boss at my company at the time and his wife were doing the same trip from a different part of Cyprus and were allocated our cabin. OMFG I think we both nearly died. We got through it but it was so so awkward. So I get it.

Trinity65 · 28/02/2024 12:28

Fucking Hell

YABU

clothearedpotatohead · 28/02/2024 12:41

Quizine · 28/02/2024 12:24

If you feel awkward and irritated about it then my advice is to change hotels pronto. I think you will be on tenterhooks during the stay and might feel obligated to be social with him and wife.

Personally I would hate being in the same resort (not to mind hotel!) as a colleague or even acquaintance. It can get awkward as I feel the need to avoid them or feel I have to talk to them every time I see them and they probably feel the same.

It did happen once in funny circumstances actually. Years ago my friend and I being young and adventurous took a ferry to Israel (Tel Aviv) from Cyprus during our two week package holiday. It was an overnight trip and a four berth cabin that we had to share. Now guess what.... a boss at my company at the time and his wife were doing the same trip from a different part of Cyprus and were allocated our cabin. OMFG I think we both nearly died. We got through it but it was so so awkward. So I get it.

That is hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

hottchocolate · 28/02/2024 12:44

You booked it in his recommendation but now he's not allowed to go back because you're going? Sounds a bit odd

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 28/02/2024 12:48

GreyCarpet · 28/02/2024 07:23

Tbh, he went on holiday past year, liked it so much he and his wife booked it again for this year.

You liked the sound of it and booked at the same hotel.

If anyone has a 'right' to be irritated by this I would say its him not you. After all, you're the one who's 'copied' his holiday!

Edited

This. I would be more embarrassed than annoyed tbh.