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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague going to same hotel

144 replies

BG2015 · 28/02/2024 07:12

Last year my colleague (male teacher) went to Cape Verde during the Easter holidays. We're both in our 50's. He's a great colleague and we have always got on being similar ages.

I talked to him about his holiday at the time and he said the hotel was great and he'd recommend it. So my DP and I decided to book it for the 2 week Easter school holidays, as we wanted to go to Cape Verde and the reviews, plus the personal recommendation swung it.

We booked it last year, a good 10 months ago.

Yesterday my colleague asked me when we were going and I told him and said how much we were looking forward to it.

He then told me that he and his wife have also booked a last minute weeks break to the same hotel.

Initially I found this quite amusing (as did many of the other staff) but now I'm a bit annoyed.

I know he's within his rights to book what ever holiday and hotel he wants to but this has really put a dampener on my holiday and will make things really awkward.

Friends have said I should change hotel, but why should I?

OP posts:
ButWhatAboutTheBees · 28/02/2024 08:57

I thought it was going to be some sleazy colleague who you suspect deliberately booked the same holiday to make a move on you...

But no. You booked HIS hotel, he didn't even remember when you were going and you both work in a school so have limited options for holidays.

YABSU, he's the one who should be annoyed if anything but these big resort holiday places are usually MASSIVE and the liklihood of constantly meeting other people is very unlikely

MiltonNorthern · 28/02/2024 08:57

You're both teachers so it's reasonable to assume he will go away the same time you are, and he went to that resort first! YABU, you don't need to hang out with him!

PansyOatZebra · 28/02/2024 08:57

Londonrach1 · 28/02/2024 08:08

It's his hotel not yours. Yabu. He returning to a hotel he liked enough to recommend to you. Limited holidays for teachers. There be enough space to avoid him

This he literally recommended it to you. And with you both being teachers it’s more likely you would end up there together given you’re restricted to holidays. I can’t believe you are annoyed!!!

IncompleteSenten · 28/02/2024 09:08

Why the big reaction?
Have you and he crossed a line in the past or something?

Planesmistakenforstars · 28/02/2024 09:18

Why will it make things awkward? Have you booked the same room?

skygradient · 28/02/2024 09:19

He went before you so you're the one copying him, no? Are you a troll?

Mercurial123 · 28/02/2024 09:41

Weird. All you have to do is say hi. Are you worried he'll see you in your bikini?!

WhamBamThankU · 28/02/2024 09:48

If we're resorting to 'copying' then you've done it to him, and he should be the one annoyed.

toomuchfaff · 28/02/2024 09:49

Skiphopbump · 28/02/2024 07:14

Why will it make things awkward? Surely if you cross paths you can just say hello and carry on with your day.

This

There is no expectation that you will buddy up on the holiday - its not a couples jaunt - you simply know each other. There is no reason for annoyance or changing bookings

If you do bump into each other - don't stop, don't hesitate because its the stop and hesitate that allows and enable the awkward ooh we should meet up and go for dinner stuff. Just say "hello! " and carry on walking!. Its a hotel - you're all on holiday. You're not mates, you're colleagues.

Janehasamane · 28/02/2024 09:52

I’m also unsure why you’re annoyed, you do know you don’t have exclusive use of the hotel? There will be other guests, and he’s not asked you to baby sit him. I’m assuming as teachers you’ve limited break opportunity. If this week works for him, so be it, he can’t be banned from going as you’re there. That’s ludicrous.

DragonGypsyDoris · 28/02/2024 09:54

You're being a precious hun. Why are you surprised that a fellow teacher is going on holiday during the school holidays, to a hotel he has been to before and which he likes? Unless the evening entertainment involves a fruit bowl and car keys, I think everything should work out fine.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 28/02/2024 09:55

They'll have their own agenda which, amazingly, won't involve you! Don't sweat it.

Redglitter · 28/02/2024 09:59

Are you kidding. He was going to the hotel before you. YOU went on his recommendation now you're pissed off because he has the audacity to go again this year.

Don't you see how utterly ridiculous you're being

andymary · 28/02/2024 10:02

You've said that him and his wife have booked a 'last minute weeks break', but are they actually going during the same week as you during the Easter holidays? Or they going during a different week half term or summer holidays week?

Kinneddar · 28/02/2024 10:04

Fulshaw · 28/02/2024 08:25

I dunno. He booked it after he knew the OP was going there. Why not book a different place or different week? There’s plenty of places in the world he can go. I think it’s a bit intrusive and thoughtless.

Why would he book a different hotel when he's being going there long before the OP. They're teachers so don't have much choice when to go.

If anything you could say the OP is being thoughtless & intrusive going to a hotel she knows he's been visiting for years

That said, it's a hotel, not a caravan, there's plenty room for both

But really if it bothers OP that much she should find her own hotels not go on a recommendation then be surprised when the person recommending it continues to visit it

similarminimer · 28/02/2024 10:05

I'm not clear from your post if he booked it before your conversation yesterday - in which case you cant legitimately be annoyed with him - or rushed off and booked it for the same week after he found out you were going - in which case you can be annoyed with him!

ThisHonestQuail · 28/02/2024 10:05

It doesn’t matter if you booked 10 months or 10 days ago, he didn’t know until yesterday, so how can you be annoyed?

Also it was his hotel first 🤣

Tempnamechng · 28/02/2024 10:11

Ooh, you're going to a swingers hotel, aren't you!!

ViaRia01 · 28/02/2024 10:11

Your question is “… but why should I (change hotels)”

The answer is that it isn’t that you SHOULD but you’re the one who feels annoyed about seeing this colleague while on holiday and so you have the OPTION to do so.

DistingusedSocialCommentator · 28/02/2024 10:11

PansyOatZebra · 28/02/2024 08:57

This he literally recommended it to you. And with you both being teachers it’s more likely you would end up there together given you’re restricted to holidays. I can’t believe you are annoyed!!!

Show quote history

TBH

I had to read the OP several times.

OP, are you not capable of avoiding, or ignoring? Any self-respecting human would so get the message and trust me, they too would avoid the other person.

It's your choice if you want to go there but I honestly cannot see it as a problem but your choice

If you do go, PLEASE stay away and do tell them as a last resort and please do trust me that is the person is half decent, they may even leave the hotel, not really, but you know where I am coming from

Enjoy your hols

MumHereAgain2023 · 28/02/2024 10:12

I get it, would be weird to change but hopefully you aren't too close on the sun beds Confused

betterangels · 28/02/2024 10:12

Sirzy · 28/02/2024 07:20

You have booked to go to somewhere he went the same time last year and enjoyed but your annoyed he is going back ?

Yeah. This is a 'you problem'.

Herdinggoats · 28/02/2024 10:13

He’s not your scout!!! He found a hotel, he liked the hotel, why on earth would you think you now have dibs?

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 28/02/2024 10:17

Stop stressing!
Neither DH nor I are teachers, but we once bumped into my (older) boss (and his wife) in a hotel. Yes, in the swimming pool. We were the only ones using it at the time, awkward! My body is never bikini-ready anyway, and 6 months post-partum would have made most people avert their eyes. Boss and wife kindly volunteered to look after our baby for a few minutes, so that we could enjoy the sauna together. We survived, and so will you.

saveforthat · 28/02/2024 10:18

I've been looking at Cape Verde for ages but never been yet. What's the hotel?

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