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AIBU?

Child free event - assume or specify?

121 replies

PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:42

If you were throwing a daytime party (birthday, baby shower, bbq on a summers day or whatever - that sort of thing) do you think you need to explicitly say that it's child free or should people assume it is unless they have received an explicit invitation for their children?

Random vote:

YABU - it's up to the party planner to specify its child free otherwise you should expect children to come with parents

YANBU - Guests should assume child free unless they are told otherwise.

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Shamalar · 26/02/2024 15:43

Daytime event in the summer where there wouldn’t be a set number of spaces, I would assume children are invited unless otherwise stated.

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BadSkiingMum · 26/02/2024 15:43

Yes, I think you need to specify that it is child free. But there are probably nice ways of wording it that others will be along to suggest.

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Christmastree455555 · 26/02/2024 15:44

YABU- If you are inviting people with children , unless you specifically say for a daytime event- ie a BBQ etc the assumption would be that kids are allowed

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Shinyandnew1 · 26/02/2024 15:45

For a daytime event, I think it’s better to specific to avoid any confusion.

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Herdinggoats · 26/02/2024 15:45

if the invite has specific names on and the kids aren’t listed I’d assume it’s child free. If it’s just a standard card with event details then I would expect it should specify child free.
So if at the top it says Sarah and Darren then they would be dicks to take the kids, if no names are mentioned I’d assume whole tribe unless child free was set out

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inappropriateraspberry · 26/02/2024 15:45

YABU. If you are inviting people that have children, you need to make it clear whether they are included or not.
I hate those ambiguous invitations that don't specify. We end up having to chase it up to find out as don't want to assume. If it's not specified, lots will assume one way or the other and there will be disappointment.

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BristolBorn · 26/02/2024 15:45

Knowing what people are like these days, I think you have to specify.
Never, when receiving an invite for Mr & Mrs Born, did we ever assume our children were (or ask if they could be) included, but judging by many posts on here it’s probably best to specify.

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PuttingDownRoots · 26/02/2024 15:45

Formal event with named invitations... I would presume just the people named, but would check if not sure (I have received wedding invitations without the children's names but they've been invited)

Casual invitation like to attend bbq... I would presume the invite was to the family.

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Crumpleton · 26/02/2024 15:47

Going on the fact you've planned it as daytime rather than evening I'd assume you've done it to allow for children to be included then families can leave early evening when children may be tired.

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PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:48

Not a formal event with named invitees. Just a text to say X happening at X time at X place hope you can make it kind of thing, daytime, very chilled and informal.

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Halfemptyhalfling · 26/02/2024 15:48

I would specify child free because BBQs are often relaxed events with a garden to run round in. I would always specify because people have to arrange childcare or not come. All these child free things is new. Have you had a bad experience or are you just trying to cut costs?

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ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:48

100% assume children invited

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mynameiscalypso · 26/02/2024 15:49

I'd assume children are invited.

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PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:49

Halfemptyhalfling · 26/02/2024 15:48

I would specify child free because BBQs are often relaxed events with a garden to run round in. I would always specify because people have to arrange childcare or not come. All these child free things is new. Have you had a bad experience or are you just trying to cut costs?

Edited

It's not something I'm planning. I turned up to something with DC as it was never specified it was child free and everything I'd been to in the past similar had always welcomed children (day time informal gathering, not a named invite) and was made to feel quite shit about it.

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Herdinggoats · 26/02/2024 15:50

PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:48

Not a formal event with named invitees. Just a text to say X happening at X time at X place hope you can make it kind of thing, daytime, very chilled and informal.

Well then this needs to specify one way or the other. This sort of chilled invite just leaves people scratching their heads wondering.

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ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:50

not a baby shower

but a summer bbq absolutely!!

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Midnlghtrain · 26/02/2024 15:50

If it's an informal non named invite event I think people would assume you're inviting them and their family unless it's a clear "girls brunch and games with drinks" or "men's bbq game night" that's quite obviously not a family sort of time!

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inappropriateraspberry · 26/02/2024 15:50

PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:48

Not a formal event with named invitees. Just a text to say X happening at X time at X place hope you can make it kind of thing, daytime, very chilled and informal.

Is it child free or not? If not, then easy to just say the 'all the family are welcome.' If it is child free I'd just specify adults only. Prepare for many not to come though as childcare is not always easy!

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ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:50

PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:49

It's not something I'm planning. I turned up to something with DC as it was never specified it was child free and everything I'd been to in the past similar had always welcomed children (day time informal gathering, not a named invite) and was made to feel quite shit about it.

this was last summer and you’re starting a thread about it in… Feb?!

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HectorGloop · 26/02/2024 15:51

If it's just a text and not a named invitation, and for a daytime event, I would definitetly assume kids were invited.

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ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:51

How big was the event OP? did anyone else bring children along?

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PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:51

ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:50

this was last summer and you’re starting a thread about it in… Feb?!

I never said anything about last summer? I was giving examples of the type of event I was talking about so people didn't think it was a formal wedding breakfast or something.

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MixingPlaydough · 26/02/2024 15:51

PickledWotsit · 26/02/2024 15:49

It's not something I'm planning. I turned up to something with DC as it was never specified it was child free and everything I'd been to in the past similar had always welcomed children (day time informal gathering, not a named invite) and was made to feel quite shit about it.

The hosts were in the wrong here. No need to feel shit at all I'd be very surprised to find such an event to be child free and I suspect most people would assume the children were also invited.

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ion08 · 26/02/2024 15:52

what was the event?

baby shower? i’d assume no children

Summer bbq i’d assume children

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Aquamarine1029 · 26/02/2024 15:52

For a daytime event like the one you've described, I would assume the whole family was invited. That's why if it's kid free, you definitely have to specify that on the invite.

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