Child free event - assume or specify?

[PickledWotsit]

If you were throwing a daytime party (birthday, baby shower, bbq on a summers day or whatever - that sort of thing) do you think you need to explicitly say that it's child free or should people assume it is unless they have received an explicit invitation for their children?

Random vote:

YABU - it's up to the party planner to specify its child free otherwise you should expect children to come with parents

YANBU - Guests should assume child free unless they are told otherwise.

If a friend with children invited me to their house in the afternoon I'd absolutely assume I could take my children, where else would they be but with me? And who has a daytime birthday party with no alcohol but makes it child free? Weird. And she was very rude as well, talking about you in stage whispers etc.

I would assume children are invited and turn up with mine unless it said "child free/no kids". If I had to RSVP it would be from all of us so they would known in advance we were bringing DC.

As others have said for daytime bbq type event would assume children also invited. You would need to specifically state children free event if that is the case.

I think if the host wants child free then the onus is on the host to state so.

A wedding I would base on who's named on invite

A baby shower/hen/stag do/night in town I'd assume no kids.

An evening event at someone's house is check first

A day time event I would assume unless told otherwise that kids were fine particularly if the host has kids.

You didn't do anything wrong

@ion08 Alright Miss Marple 😂

The host should have said unless it was a hen do or something along those lines where it’s obvious it’s for adults.

A casual daytime event hosted by someone with kids, I would assume was a family invitation.

Summer BBQ if you are inviting people who have children, they will assume you mean the whole family. I would think you were weird to expect people to organise childcare for a BBQ because you felt you needed to exclude them, and we would decline.

Baby shower etiquette I am less familiar with, but I would assume only one named person was invited unless the invitation said otherwise.

Was it a hen or a baby shower?

Yabu

If I wanted to host something child free, I'd definitely be very explicit about it. However, if I was going to something where it was a text invite or similar I'd always double check whether it was just me, me and DH, both plus DCs.

Where else could they be -she has a DH!

Who works at the weekend, which the host knows hence why I said I have limited childcare options during the time it took place.

That's going to depend on who the host is.

I no longer have small dc, so I would host, or invite people to things during the day and not want children there.
When my dc were small, I would also be aware that other people didn't necessarily want small children at every event.

sif i we’re you, and i valued this friendship

i would drop her a handwritten note to say

“thank you for the lovely birthday celebration and I hope you enjoyed. Apologies if i got the wrong end of the stick re bringing Jacob (?).

See you soon x

I’d never assume my children were invited anywhere unless specifically invited themselves.

But not everyone is blessed with good manners or common sense so it’s usually good to be explicit for those hard of understanding

I voted YABU to be cautious but for me it would depend on the event and who was inviting me. Baby shower i would always assume childfree, a friend wiThout Children I’d check what type of an event it was, my friends with children and in the daytime I would assume it’s a family type event

Never assume anything. Specify!

I love child free weddings and don't understand people complaining about these, but I do find it ironic that most people seem to think a baby shower is childfree. If anything was child friendly I would think it would be that.

How is it ironic?

Most baby showers are definitely not child friendly! More akin to a hen party

I had no idea, I've only been to a couple and they were extremely dull

Daytime event, I'd probably assume kids too unless told otherwise.

I think there are some things that I would expect to be old free, even if they are held in the day. For example a baby shower, I wouldnt expect children at those and maybe a relaxed afternoon hen party - think afternoon tea type occasion.

On you to have checked, imo.

Relaxed daytime event in a home with young children? Wouldn't think twice about bringing mine along (unless as has been said it was a baby shower or hen party but it doesn't seem to have been).

A relaxed bbq in the afternoon I'd automatically assume it was a general family invitation unless it was phrased as a girls only get together or something like that but this doesn't seem to be the case. Obviously a formal event with actual written invitations then it's only the named individuals who would go. I think the host was actually rude to you.