to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

Not forgetting the poster who claims to know better than a consultant dermatologist! Must be something in the MN air today..

I am not particularly sweaty or smelly. I shower every day because I like it and it makes me feel good, and apply deodorant and body lotion, but I don’t think I’d honk if I missed a day.

Also by that logic all disabled people must smell.

of course people can shower 3 times a week and not smell.

Exactly. And that's just not the case. I've had surgeries where I haven't showered for weeks and managed with a flannel and the sink. Never did I smell. There must be some people with serious body odor issues

Do you actually have some sort of deeply ingrained issue where you can’t comprehend that not everybody lives the same life as you or has the same body as you?

Glad to see that migraines are so hilarious to you, very mature! Even my own sweat gives me a migraine so you’ll be very glad to know that I can assure you it’s not the case that I simply can’t smell myself. Happy now?

Haha,yes,unperfumed soap! The damn phone really didn't like that and changed it 4 times. I was waiting for someone to ask if his name was Andrew!

I agree, and I only wash mine (short) once a week also.

I hope none of the competitive hygiene/cleanliness freaks on here never find themselves in the midst of a disaster, where there is no water for days/weeks, let alone hot water. They will be having breakdowns. 😂😂

I also wonder how many of them are wearing synthetic fabrics, as they increase sweating. Some of us wear mostly natural fabrics so we aren't dripping in sweat at the end of each day and don't need to be excessively washing our bodies, or our clothes.

so true. I actually had no water there one weekend a few weeks ago. burst pipe in middle of street most of street out. Big storm that weekend and weather made repair so slow. had to use bottle water and boil it for washing. I survived without washing etc. the worst was actually not able to flush toilets 🤣
can not wear most polyester clothes. like a freak in shops constantly checking labels to see what materials it's made off

This. I rarely ever smell anyone, and if I do I can tell by looking at them that their clothes and hair aren't regularly washed and that deodorant is not on their shopping list. I doubt everyone I see on a daily basis is showering once/twice a day and washing their hair at the same time.

Of course this is MN, which seems to attract more than its fair share of neurotic types and those who are prone to exaggeration.

I don’t think it’s neurotic to wash daily ! Nor to say there are a lot of folk who smell. Honestly the London underground trains in the summer are stomach churning every day.

People are washing daily! It is a bit neurotic to call people some of the names that have been used on this thread to those who wash once, twice or possibly more a day but don't feel they need to actually shower.

Of course when it's hot out people, who have worked all day (possibly in the heat), haven't had a chance to get home and wash/shower and are crammed together on public transport may be a bit whiffy!

They do smell , they just don’t know it

Exactly

I think you're way over the top OP. My skin would be wrecked with your routine.

It's not the daily washing that's weird it's scrubbing yourself with a loofah

Do you go outside, ever?

Usually it's in supermarkets and such, or on public transport.

I'll absolutely agree though that the ones doused in perfume to disguise their smell, are even worse. A poster upthread mentioned fusty coats/jackets, and I agree not enough people wash their coats.

Have you ever worked in retail? I'm guessing not. If you had, you'd know all about the great unwashed and meet them pretty much every, single, day unfortunately. The guilty parties have no idea they smell, which is actually horrendous when they get close to you.

I'm more aghast at the poster who suggested only ever washing your vulva in plain water, and not every day. That is vile. I agree harsh soaps aren't for use on your vulva, but there are gentle options specifically designed for this area, and if you can't use them either because the person is just soooo 'sensitive', then a wash of your privates every single day in water is absolutely necessary. More so if you pubic hair, which is exactly designed to retain fluids and sweat from your groin.

I'd say the exact same if a man only ever washed his privates in water, and not every day. Are women not aware that whilst yes, your pH balance shouldn't be upset, you do still need to wash it thoroughly, and water alone is just not enough to properly clean? Women also have problems with smegma at times - this thread absolutely explains why.

I go outside a lot - more than many on MN I suspect, I'm hardly ever home. I had a full time job for over 20 years based in a retail store, it was a farmers supply store and farmers would come straight from the farm to the store. The only smells were the occasional whiff of pig or dairy cow.

The people I generally (rarely) do smell are in supermarkets, or sometimes those who came into my most recent workplace, which had all sorts in, including the homeless. Incidentally, I visit a supermarket almost every day, in fact I've just returned from one. Didn't smell a single person.

I also find these comments about not being able to smell yourself weird. If I'm out walking on a very hot, sunny, day I can tell if I am starting to smell a bit.

I find the competitive "I'm cleaner than you are" people on MN very odd. I stand by my comment about the neurotic and those prone to exaggeration.

this is why there needs to be a "laugh" option 😂👊

I can smell myself. That's why I wash daily

If my deodorant fails for some reason, I can defo smell myself.

No no no. Exfoliating once a week is good. Daily and you'll disrupt the skin barrier. Ask any dermatologist. You don't want squeaky skin after every wash.
I wash daily. Soap pits, groin, around neck, under boob and feet daily. About twice a week I wash my hair go over my entire body with bamboo scrub gloves which are waaaay gentler than a loofah.

For those that wash every other day or less, what did or do you do when you have your period?? Not the same surely ?

I haven't had a period for over 10 years. HTH

I have a wash at the basin, using a flannel, soap and hot water.

@Beautiful3 I have a wash at the basin, using a flannel, soap and hot water.
Is this not more faff than jumping into the shower? How do you straddle the basin to rinse properly? Dont you end up with soapy, bloody water running down your legs? I would have thought a quick jump in the shower would be faster and easier

@K0OLA1D I haven't had a period for over 10 years. HTH
So you washed more often when you did have periods?