to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

You're weirdly invested

@Toenailz sense of smell is a scale and it sounds as if yours is incredibly sensitive whereas the average person sense of smell is no where near picking up what you do

i do wonder if there is a correlation between washing and sense of smell

I think that washing daily and scrubbing your skin with a loofah is a bit OTT.

I shower or bathe daily. I do use a bath sponge and shower gel, and wash my hair 2/3 times a week.

On the days I go to the gym or have been active, I have a full wash and make sure everywhere has been scrubbed (3 days a week) and the other 4 days I have a quick shower and mainly focus on the smelly areas - armpits, under breasts, groin area and feet.

I do apply deodorant after a shower and a second time during the day if necessary, e.g. if I had a shower the night before and need a top up the next morning.

I post this with some trepidation that the “ist” police who lurk on these threads might all wail “ ageist”; but I think we are not so twitchy that we are not still allowed to address biological fact to some degree?

This post caused me to reflect that I wonder if some of the “ not daily “ showerers on this thread are post menopausal. The reason I say this is that hormones are responsible for much of our bodily stink. It is even hormone that makes male urine smell so much whiffier than female urine.

I understand that post the main hormone producing phase of life, people don’t smell as much or as quickly. A bit like children don’t .

Maybe this is why some are declaring others “ must stink.”

I'm 33.

Yes. But there are others besides you

I don't have a shower, just a bath. It's more faff to run it.

If you read my post properly I covered those that are still having periods and those that used to. Now when the next poster asks when used to get them, you’re getting all funny about it.

I’m shocked people are saying op is ott - what?! It’s normal, why would you not wash yourself properly. Rinsing in water and not washing all the body is not enough - I am with you op, confused why people don’t think it’s necessary and normal to scrub all areas when in the shower?!
as for your friend, she knew she had a problem that’s why she asked so I think she will probably try to adjust her habits

@Firawla

I am with you op, confused why people don’t think it’s necessary and normal to scrub all areas when in the shower?!

Because it's not necessary and, from posters on this thread, it's not normal ie not abnormal not to. The only part of me that gets scrubbed in the shower is my back because I can't reach it. Everywhere else is shower gel and my hands. Legs just get 'rinsed'. Never been a problem, come out clean and have good skin.

I'm more thorough than the OP's friend, but her problem area is her armpits which she is soaping, so there is something more going on - probably just needs to use a good but gentle deoderant all the time, but maybe has overactive sweat glands. OP says she doesn't smell and mustn't look noticably dirty.

It does say she uses shower gel applied with hands - I would smell if I did that
The first thing I would try is soap and a flannel as sometimes antiperspirant gets stuck on especially if it's one of the longer lasting ones

I used to use a shower puff (which I assume is what OP means rather that a loofah- I hope so anyway!) but got rid as they as they’re a disgusting home of germs and bacteria.

I replaced it with one of these for when I want a good scrub, which is much more hygienic https://amzn.eu/d/iZDKy4d

For my routine I lather everywhere with a bar soap, then go over with a nice smelling shower gel on the above scrubber, then when the shower is off I go over everywhere with a body oil. Twice a week I’ll also do a gentle body scrub during my shower.

I don’t do all this every day (if I am wfh not seeing anyone I don’t bother) but if I skip a day I still smell nice from the previous shower because of the above routine- although I think it’s mainly the oil!

Not showering every day isn’t disgusting, and it’s actually better for the environment and your skin.

For those saying it’s better for the environment or skin or whatever, be honest, you’re just lazy !

No that's just your opinion. I don't shower every day (but wash thoroughly) because it isn't necessary. The fact that there are added benefits is just a bonus. Having a shower isn't arduous, in fact if you are able bodied it's pretty easy (and pleasurable), so I don't understand how anyone could think they are being particularly industrious/virtuous taking one or how someone could have a petty moral judgement about people who don't.

Another thing I don't understand are posters saying shower gel isn't effective enough to cleanse you. It is a cleanser, it has been designed to clean skin. Some shower gels contain soap. I only use shower gel (on my body) and it is just as effective as soap.

Her washing routine is adequate and she's right, failure to scrub at her skin with a loofah isn't going to cause the armpit odour she's worried about. If it's a new problem it's most likely hormonal and the only things she can do is wash her armpits more frequently, never skip deoderant and consider dress shields for her clothes that absorb the sweat. Removing meat, fish, dairy and alcohol from her diet also stops sweat smelling bad. But most people prefer extra showers to doing that!

I am lazy am i? I lay on my bed last night after a bath, shower was Sunday, waiting for creams to soak in as my skin was on fire. Couldn't sleep as still in pain in some parts with my skin. I pay 80e a month for prescription tablets and creams for my skin aswell as over the counter creams specializing in eczema ect. Also pay 50e to get a repeat prescription and 250e every time to see a dermatologist who tells me not to wash too often. You do not know what goes in in peoples lives so therefore get back in your box and stop judging people.

@Wexone i’m not talking about you but the general mn on here who aren’t claiming any skin issue. It’s a choice not to shower. I think that’s just being lazy in the main tbh. And no one answered except one about what happens when there was/is period. I think not showering then is beyond lazy

So you literally scrub all naturai skin oil off with soap AND shower gel and than put extra oil on for your body to recover.

No wonder cosmetic industry is thriving with people doing routines like this.

Yeah, all these lazy people who pretend to care about the environment. They only walk everywhere because they're too lazy to get petrol and eat left overs because they can't be bothered to bin them and cook again. And don't get me started on the way they reuse stuff all the time because they're too idle to go out and buy new.

And as people said its not necessary- unless you are working in a mine, doing vigorous exercise etc. - you do not need to wash every day! Medical experts say showering every pother day is fine. You do not know what goes on in people's lives, people have a choice, if you want to wash every day go ahead, but don't you dare judge people who dont.

I can judge when I have to commute with people that don’t wash enough and it’s every day. It’s offensive. Most people don’t realise they smell evidently.
I, and many many people I know wash daily and don’t have dry skin and also recycle and look after the environment.. it is possible !

Probably yes I used to commute and apart from the odd occasion never thought anyone smelt - it sounds as if you have a particularly sensitive sense of smell which picks this up

@Lucklin

I can judge when I have to commute with people that don’t wash enough and it’s every day. It’s offensive.

I think you are starting to sound precious. Commuters obviously aren't trying to offend anyone, the fact that you choose to be is up to you. You have no idea whether the people you commute with shower daily or not or what is going on in their lives. Maybe they have come off a strenuous shift or you are smelling their outer clothes? Maybe you don't realise that to them you smell? Many many people have now said on here that they are perfectly clean and odourless after a good wash - not sure what else there is to be said now?

Not that it is any of your business, but back when I had periods (you asked) I carried on as I do now. It's possible that if I had a very heavy period I may have skipped that day 😱but I don't ever remember doing that. Anyway women on their period go on expeditions or to festivals and survive somehow without showers. You seem very invested in other people's bits and pieces.

And... you can't offset water usage with a bit of recycling - you're not BA. Environmental degradation doesn't work like that - the damage is done.

Are you suggesting you leave the shower with absolutely all of your sebum intact @katepilar?

Also I put on the body oil because it smells nice, nothing to do with recovery 🤷🏻‍♀️