Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

I agree.

OP, remember that a lot of people make aggressive posts on AIBU, presumably to let off steam. Don’t take nasty comments to heart.

I eat out quite often, and know that in many places you’re expected to wait for a staff member to show you to your table. I’ve also worked in restaurants.

But I’m not surprised you went straight to the table marked Reserved for you. Why was another couple sitting there? I’d I would never sit at a table clearly marked Reserved for someone else. The staff were wrong in letting someone else take your table and in leaving your reservation on it. The manager obviously tried to cover this mistake up by doubling down and accusing you. Very bad behaviour to a customer, and worth a complaint.

Ageism may be involved too, as the manager clearly felt fine about picking on a family with old people.

I'm sorry OP. I would have spoken to staff. I do think your decision not to do this, but to sit at the table was socially abnormal, and that being told that on MN is uncomfortable.

However it's my honest answer

You are not listening, why post if you don't listen

Sure you have every right not to agree but you keep on drip feeding 'yeah but....' so what is the point?

The restaurant should have been more on the ball about getting your table available for your arrival at the reservation time, I’ve worked in restaurants and a booking should be respected.

but definitely should have approached staff rather than the customers

Your OP is confusing in that I had to reread it a couple of times before realising it wasn't the other members of your party sat at the table already!

The words used by the manager don't sound rude at all, just informative and I'd put money on it that she also didn't have a rude tone but she wasn't pandering to you so obviously she was rude....

Just drawing on personal experience of such reviews.

Maybe original party had ordered coffees or desserts and they spoke to staff to cancel them saying "that lady sat at the table making us uncomfortable and we aren't staying here". Or maybe they apologised to staff for sitting in the reserved seats. Or maybe they just complained about the batshit woman who came and sat at their table.

You have a reservation, you speak to the staff. If you find your table and someone is on it, you speak to the staff. If another customer is rude, you speak to the staff.

You could have seated your parents at another table, "just sit here for a moment whilst I ask what's going on". You're using them as some kind of righteous weapon (I half expect you to bring up that one DC is ND tbh)

Your actions were rude and I hope the reply from the venue calls you out on it.

It isn't agist to call someone out on their rude behaviour just because they've had old people with them 🤣

@CatamaranViper

I work in hospitality - you and @HeddaGarbled have got it spot on!!
Do you also work in same sector?

Inevitably, this will reach management levels as it always does…

The ousted party will (hopefully) get some sort of apology
OP will (sadly) also get some sort of compensation and apology
The pink-top lady will get hauled over the coals, and told off.

All of this could have been avoided if OP had just spoken to a member of staff!!

I've seen people say they've been "told off" when they actually haven't been. I've witnessed totally innocuous conversations being paraphrased as "she had a go at me!"

Judging by OP's tone it's possible she is the sort of person to react like this, so I don't think she is able to accept she may have behaved strangely at all.

OP, when you arrive at an eatery, you go to the bar/reception and say "hello, we've got a booking for ten under the name ....." and things will run smoothly from there.

BTW. The word "plonk" has started to sound funny after these responses.

I did for many years from FOH to management.

We used to have a wall in the staff room where we'd print out and stick up the most ridiculous complaints. It helped newbies not feel so bad when they get their first complaint because we've allllllll been there.

My first was when my rudeness made a customer cry because I didn't unroll her cutlery from the paper napkin. It's a shame I still carry to this day.

Has the word "plonk" ever not sounded funny? I've never seriously plonked before. Maybe I plonk too lightheartedly?

Yabu

the other customers clearly went to the staff to complain about you, so you obviously did speak to them rudely. It’s rich you complain about being “told off” by the management when that’s how the other guests felt about you?

Next to "plonk" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of the op and her family.

It sounds like some people just like to drama everything up. You asked to share the large table, not forced them off or asked them to move.

As for someone saying have you never been to a restaurant before, well clearly they've never been to a HH before if they think it's a restaurant.

I work in hospitality and have the same kind of booking system they have in a HH, and we have many guests who will see their reservation sign and just sit themselves down without letting anyone know that they were there so you're definitely not alone there.

Saying that though, I'm not sure why you waited so long to let anyone know you were there. At 15 mins past your reservation time you would be on the cusp of me 'no-showing' your booking and going over to remove the reservation sign and let the other guests know that there was no longer any rush and they could order desserts after all. Maybe they were more annoyed that they had been told if no-one turned up by 15 mins past the reservation time then the table was there's and they thought they were settled in for the evening.

No-shows are still a big issue in our industry and we record them as such so I could see if you booked in my pub if you had been a no-show somewhere else previously and choose to then either decline your booking or ask for a deposit. Are you sure that the pink top lady wasn't just advising you of the importance of 'checking in', rather than telling you off?

However, if she was genuinely rude to you then that is not acceptable.

Though on a Sunday evening of a possibly very busy weekend, where I'd guess at least one person, if not more, had called in sick then I'd cut her a little slack and not just left before giving the evening a chance.

Also if you'd given her a chance to breathe and reflect (we're not infallible, even after 20+ yrs in the industry I can still get stressed and behave in a less than perfect way on occasion), they may well have even brought over a glass of Prosecco for the couple celebrating their anniversary, I know we would have.

I think you were extremely rude to the other patrons and behaved very oddly. It is normal to speak to staff about your reservation, not take it upon yourself to passive aggressively bully other people from their table. Have you never been out before?

You were rude! You don’t just go and sit at a table where people are already seated! even if it did have your name on.

Anyone with any manners would have spoken to a member of staff.Doubt they will have regretted losing your custom.Sounds like something from a comedy show.

I work in hospitality and managing bookings/Vs walk-ins is an actual nightmare, particularly on a Saturday. We are stretched thinly with one host for around 40 indoor tables, most of which are booked out back to back by our bookings hub.

It is almost impossible to police each table with a reserved sign on- they get hidden, ignored and thrown away constantly! You can always guarantee that a walk-in group will gravitate to the tables that are set up for a booking, rather than an empty table.

When a table booking finishes (usually 90 mins-2hrs) you can guarantee that they kick up a fuss and expect that you'll find them another table. In the meantime, a new set of customers have walked in and plonked themselves on the table you're frantically trying to turn around for the next booking that are awkwardly hovering near the bar.

Cue a torrent of abuse from three offended parties!

Can you tell I love my job? 😂

You ruined someone else’s experience and YOU’RE the one that feels hard done by? lol

You should have approached staff rather than diner's still sitting there.

YABU. Once you saw that there were people at your reserved table, you should have immediately found a staff member. You took a mole hill and turned this into a mountain, my friend.

Once you had found a staff member, they would have apologized that your original table had been moved and shown you to the new correct table.

You are using the young children and your disabled parents as an excuse for your poor behavior. If you parents are disabled to the point that standing for a few minutes are taxing, they/you should have brought a mobility aid (cane/walker/wheelchair). This is just common sense anywhere they are going.

YABU for going to a hungry horse pub for a ruby wedding anniversary.

YABU for sitting down at a table where others were finishing their meal. Regardless of whether it was reserved for you or not, just speak to a member of staff ffs. Have you ever had someone plonk themselves next to you at your table in a restaurant? Would you find that acceptable?

As for someone saying have you never been to a restaurant before, well clearly they've never been to a HH before if they think it's a restaurant
What is it, then?

So why didn’t you use your words and ask staff which is your table?

I think this is another case that will be blamed on Covid and the resultant social anxiety.

This. It was the pubs mistake not these customers. You embarrassed yourself and your poor parents.

Google is your friend.