Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

I'm here for the posters who haven't been to a hungry horse pub or have no idea what one is.

Those posters drink in places with beautiful wine glasses, local ales with gasto food on the menus created by head chefs that have gotten to the semi finals on masterchef professionals and have a seafood specials board, with Rick Stein recipes, don't you? In summer they've beautiful gardens that you can sit outside surrounded by freshly growing herbs and in winter, they have a real roaring fire you can take your spaniels in don't they?

In my local hungry horse, I've not been in 10 years or so, but they used to do a sharing ice cream sundae for 4 people. It would have fed over 200 mumsnetters.

Op, sorry hen that your night was ruined, I'd have had no concerns you sitting with us but I'm firmly in the minority here, so next time ask the staff.

I would never sit down when other peopleare at the table.
They might have been considering ordering tea or cheese and they would feel like they had to go.

You should have asked the wait staff to find your elderly parents a chair while you all waited to be seated.

OP's actual question is:

"Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?"

No you were not being unreasonable to leave. The manager should not have been rude to you and should have realised that there had been some kind of misunderstanding. It was their fault that your table was not ready in time and their fault that they had seated a other family at a table which had your name on.

Regardless of whether you should or shouldn't have spoken to the other family, the manager should have been sympathetic to the fact you were there with your elderly and disabled parents.

Do come back let us know how the restaurant deals with your written complaint.

When you have a reservation you let the staff know so that they'll bring you to your table

Yeah, this - you don't just plonk yourself at a table where there's already people sitting there!

Chain of retaurants. They sell fried corn on the cob.
From their website;
Whether you’re popping in for pints and one of our sensational sharers with a few mates or treating the family to a tasty after-school burger, our menu’s jam-packed with flavourful favourites.

I would've gone to the staff. It's weird to just sit down, even if your name is there.

If a reservation is made and a sign with people's names on the table why would it matter if it was a fast food restaurant or a 3 star michelin restaurant it is still a reservation and people sat there are still people
mind you I am not sure what is weirder people who actually sit down when others are at the table or people who think it is fine to do so (if there is any)

If you reserve a table, you tell staff when you get there and they take you to your table. Job done. What you did was weird.

"at no point were we rude"

>>sits at a table before the previous customers have left.....

@CatamaranViper You didn't unroll their cutlery? Surprised you were not sacked on the spot!!
I would have asked them if they wanted me to eat their fucking meal for them too!.

@Lwrenn

I'm here for the posters who haven't been to a hungry horse pub or have no idea what one is.

Those posters drink in places with beautiful wine glasses, local ales with gasto food on the menus created by head chefs that have gotten to the semi finals on masterchef professionals and have a seafood specials board, with Rick Stein recipes, don't you? In summer they've beautiful gardens that you can sit outside surrounded by freshly growing herbs and in winter, they have a real roaring fire you can take your spaniels in don't they?

That's quite a weird take on any pub that isn't a Hungry Horse. I haven't been to one because there aren't any around here. I go to perfectly ordinary pubs usually and sometimes they have real ales, specials boards, gardens or open fires - they aren't things I thought were particularly exceptional.

For all those saying that the OP should have spoken to staff first or waited to be seated - yes, that is often the expected procedure.
But in a pub-type setup the cultural norm is to find a table before you ever approach the bar or interact with staff.

And this table apparently had a sign with the OP's name on it. If that sign isn't to inform you which table has been allocated to your party, what is its purpose? Advertising that a particular table is for "Gutmann" isn't useful to anyone other than the Gutmann party! The staff would have a list with table numbers, so it doesn't help them particularly.

To be honest, if I saw a reserved sign on a table and my mealtime was likely to eat into the time on the sign I wouldn't sit there. Unless they were asked to sit there. Very annoying but id have gone to yhe bar and asked them to sort it out not approached the diners.

I do think YABU. You should have spoken to staff.

However, to the people who have piled on the OP in such a derisive manner, take a moment to think - if you weren't supposed to go in and find your own table there wouldn't be a bloody sign with your name in it, would there? Because that's not how restaurants operate.

Standard etiquette in pubs is that sitting at a pre booked table up until the time the booker arrives is fine, at which point you move.

So if the original thruple had chanced their arm at sitting at a table that had a reservation on it, it's down to them to shift to another table.

In this situation I would have said to the thruple ' Hi there, this is our reserved table and we're expecting more people in a few minutes, are you nearly done?'

Their reply would have dictated what I did next.

OP you’re not listening to everyone - YABU. Just take it on board and learn!

Sorry, see I Xposted with basically the same response, just typed it too slowly!!

I used to hate when customers would plonk themselves down at an already dirty table. Sooo irritating! Which is essentially what you did, as staff would have to wipe down the table after the other customer but before you. No one should ever sit themselves down at a dirty table. It's rude. Wait to be seated. Trust me, staff want to be able to quickly clear up and wipe down the table freely, without having to awkwardly dance around customers seated at the table. It's so much harder to wipe down then because you can't reach the angles you want to, and you have to be careful not to spill any crumbs on people. And it's just awkward as fuck. It's so rude.

YABU.

You should have spoken to the staff first. It's literally their job to gently move people on quickly if they have encroached on your reservation time - particularly if they know disabled people are waiting to sit down.

The manager was rude and you were within your rights to leave without further ado. If customers are paying, your job is to accommodate them. However it also was not the best idea to speak directly to other customers, as the normal and polite process is to ask staff to sort your reservation.

This.

Just sitting yourself down at a table with strangers is weird as fuck. Are you British? Just wondering if it's a cultural difference.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move..

What on earth is the relevance of the colour of her top? Or would you have been less offended if it had been another colour

If I'd booked a table at a restaurant I'd never dream of just seating myself, especially if people were already sitting there. You should have spoken to a member of staff, not the customers

@Lwrenn So, in your eyes MNs only eat/drink in bucolic-based gastro-pubs or scuzzy, cheap fried food based places, where kids run riot and people sit at other people's reserved tables?

@CasperGutman

For all those saying that the OP should have spoken to staff first or waited to be seated - yes, that is often the expected procedure.
But in a pub-type setup the cultural norm is to find a table before you ever approach the bar or interact with staff.

If you have booked a table the norm is to check with staff first. Most pubs don't write names on the tables, so how else would you know where to sit? if you haven't booked then yes in a pub the cultural norm is to look for a free table first before you go to the bar to make sure you get one.

And this table apparently had a sign with the OP's name on it. If that sign isn't to inform you which table has been allocated to your party, what is its purpose?

It doesn't matter, if the previous party hadn't yet left the table that had our name on it, I would ask the staff to sort it out, not go and sit down which could come across as passive aggressive and is just rude. If OP had gone straight to a member of staff when they had arrived then none of this would have happened.

I question the OP's version of how polite she actually was having stood around for 15 minutes assuming the other party had overrun. Also, if she nicely asked to join the table surely the other party would have just said "no" or "can you please wait until we leave" rather than angrily storming off and complaining. OP conveniently doesn't reveal what was said - surely there was some sort of interaction?

Maybe they were also disabled? Maybe they had told the staff that they were waiting for their taxi that was late and staff had told them that they could stay sitting at the table until their taxi arrived, and that when the unusual surname family turn up and let them know they have arrived, they can move some other tables together for them?

You’ll never know, because you seemingly never told staff you had arrived, stood around for 15 minutes and then just plonked yourself at the table and made them feel uncomfortable.