Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

Because people you don't know were sitting there. It didn't occur to you that there might have been a mistake and/or some confusion, therefore speaking to a member of staff is in order to sort it out. Not just plopping yourself down at a table with people you don't know.

And if they were done eating like you claim, why wouldn't you have just waited for a few more minutes until they left?

Sorry OP, it was still very odd to sit with them.

I realise you want people to say you were in the right, but you did make a mistake in not talking to staff imho. I do think the rude staff member should have been more diplomatic later on though, there was no need to embarrass you at that stage. You can get the same message across in a nice way instead of a rude way sometimes.

Classic

Op:am I unreasonable?
Mumsnet:Yes
Op:no I’m not!

My surname isn't a common one, and there were no other tables reserved in any way.

Sorry OP but it's really weird to plonk yourself at a table with others already sitting at it. Doesn't matter if they've almost or actually finished.

Your name being on the table does not indicate ownership of the table. It's an indication for staff organisation not an invitation to oust other paying customers.

You should have gone to a member of staff and asked what was happening. In this case you'd have been escorted to a different table.

They were still talking over 15 min later, and my disabled parents needed to sit!

Your behaviour was very strange. Were there no staff members around that you could ask?

You should've spoken to the staff and let them deal with it.

And deep down I think you know that.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins Why did you post if you don’t want to hear that you were wrong? Everyone has told you that you handled it the wrong way. So… maybe accept it? You asked and you’ve had an answer. Get over it.

But that wasn’t your table!
they had another one for you if you’d have just bothered to ask

So you had 15 minutes to speak to a member of staff but didn’t do so?

It doesn't matter what your surname is. It should have been obvious that there was a mix-up or some confusion that needed sorting. The answer was not to gate crash someone else's dinner.

Genuinely don't know what's wrong with sitting St the table with our name on it!

There were people sitting there already. Eating or not, it was in use.

What would you do in a hotel op? You rock up to a Premier Inn, get your key card and when you enter there's a couple sleeping in the room. Would you go in, maybe jump into bed beside them? Because afterall it's your room in your name.

OR would you maybe, I don't know - think to yourself there's clearly been an error and approach a member of staff.

The fact you can't see anything wrong in your behaviour with hindsight is even stranger than your initial actions.

Sorry, Empty, that's really bad behaviour on your part. If the restaurant is running a little late, you need to wait at the bar. Those poor people finishing up their meal. They may have been talking, but given plates were still on the table, (drinks unfinished?) it's unbelievably rude to have sat down and forced them out.

It was the only large table made up. And we didn't oust anyone, we could have sat around one end and left a gap between us and them!

OP you have been given quite a few different perspectives on why what you did may not have been the best approach

When you asked whether you had been unreasonable was it to just hear affirmation that you were right, or to genuinely welcome other dispassionate views?

It’s not normal behaviour to go and plonk yourself down on a table that other people are using and ask them to leave. If there was a mix-up with the table reservations, any normal person would talk to the staff about it not try and evict other customers.

It didn't occur to you to speak to a member of staff after waiting for 15 minutes?

Why ask if you’re unreasonable if you aren’t willing to even briefly entertain the possibility that you might be?!?

If you'd been waiting 15 mins why didn't you speak to a staff member? Really odd behaviour.

I'd never plonk myself on a table where others were sitting. You were rude op.

You should have just asked staff and said there’s been a mix up. I can’t believe you just sat there that’s mad.

Bloody hell - very rude to plonk yourself down at the table whilst the previous diners were still sitting there.

I'm not surprised they were angry and complained nor that the manager spoke to you about it.

Any normal person would go up to a member of staff and say “we have a booking, can I just check if it’s that table as there are some people at it?”

At which point the staff would have said yes there is room for you both, get yourself settled or they would have asked the people there to wrap up as the booking had arrived

I am not surprised they complained and not surprised the manager spoke to you.

But you obviously think you are in the right so thread is pointless

So do you believe that the bar manager was lying when she said they'd set up another table for you if it was the only large table?

Eitherway, it doesn't matter how big the table was it was already in use

You should have gone to a member of staff.

The people already there obviously felt pushed out as they've complained on the way out.

The majority of people responding have said it's odd behaviour so you might just have to accept that YABU

OP does not want anyone's opinion if it's different to her own.
Iam confused as to why she's asking here AIBU. Clearly she doesn't think she was.
But seriously who even does that??