Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

Your actions were a bit weird to be honest and I don’t blame the manager for having a word. You should have highlighted your arrival to staff and they would have sorted you a table. I don’t think the fact you had young children or elderly with you know a a factor it would not have taken them long to sort the situation.

I fell out with them for stopping their fajita burger and chicken and waffles, and comment about it everytime I see a post from them!

They were wrong for sitting at a reserved table and not vacating when you arrived.
Manager was wrong for having a go at you, once the others left she should have apologised to them and not said a word to you… because at the end of the day they’d finished their meals and were table blocking !
I do think though that you should’ve gone to staff and told them your reserved table was taken and just sat your parents down at another table until the staff had asked them to leave. But if there were no tables at all I don’t see the issue in you politely asking if they’d mind your disabled parents just sitting on the end till they were ready to leave. Seems like a huge over reaction them ‘storming off to complain to staff’ when they knew they were sat at someone else’s table past the time it had it reserved from… that was rude of them! If I sat at a table I’d be sure to be gone way before the 4.30 it was reserved from! But then I wouldn’t sit on a table for 10 if there were only 3 of us anyway!… that in itself is rude

I can't imagine ever arriving somewhere where and not telling the staff i was there. I wouldn't just go looking for the table

Does it matter?

Very strange that you sat at a table with people already seated regardless of whether your name was on it. I’d have spoken to staff to find out if it was still reserved for us and it would have been their job to move them, or move us.

It screams this is my table, move. No wonder they spoke to staff

What was wrong??

people were sitting there that’s what was wrong, why not speak to staff about your issues, not the people sat at the table!!!

Sorry, but HH pubs are limited time slots as they are so busy. If they were still sitting there 15 minutes past their time slot then they were being rude. If there were only three of them, they probably arrived to a very busy pub and decided to take the only empty space - staff would have told them that they would have to leave by booking time.
She only offered to share the table, while they were finishing up - she did not ask them to leave. As to the staff finding another table, the reservation was on that table, so they had NOT done so, whatever they said.
It sounds to me as if the manager was being greedy, by fitting in another family without a thought for her original booking, and inefficient by not sorting it up front, then blaming her bad service on her customers

"Already seated" "Viewing the menu" - at a quarter to five? Stormed off?
What kind of place was this? Do tell.

Much as i think the OP was out of order with what she did, I don't think people should be criticising her for going to a HH for a celebration. Maybe she's on a budget, maybe her parents just like it there? Maybe they just fancied a casual meal? (I know I like my fine dining but I am also happy as larry in a chain pub sometimes where I know what I am getting and I can relax more!) Maybe it is local and easy for her parents. Stop with the snobbery (I've never even been in a Hungry Horse either)!

I’m sorry but I’m almost crying with laughter.
There’s Mrs Unpronounceable name barging in to the cafe and spots table marked Reserved with people sat at it. So Mrs U decided to sit at the table and glare at the other people so they leave.
Mrs U gets shouted at by the waitress so she leaves as well to the general amusement all the other diners.
Well Mrs U won’t be able to reserve a table in there again 😄😄

Are you usually this impatient? I'm afraid if I was still sitting at a table that I had booked and someone came over and asked me to leave, no matter how "polite" they were, I'm not done until I'm done. You were a little impatient and judged it all wrong, maybe just ask the staff next time?

Reminds me of one of the best anecdotes amongst my DH and his friends. Friend checked into hotel and went to his room to walk in and find a bloke sat on the toilet having a poo. And no, he didn’t just crack on and use the bathroom; he went and took it up with reception who had obviously messed up.

Thanks for clarifying..I wondered this too.

Have to say though, as much as people are right that OP should have approached staff rather than the other diners, other diners were shitty to get huffy and complain when it was obvious that OP was the party on the reservation, at the correct time of the reservation, and all OP was doing was asking if she could sit there. I would have just said ‘oh, are you the ones with a reservation at 4.30? Not sure what’s happened, but they’ve seated us here and not given us a time limit, so do you think you could ask the staff about it?’. Instead of huffing off.

So where did you up eating OP ?

My local is a Hungry Horse and I was honestly once served by someone in pyjamas and slippers and not for Red Nose Day or in an ironic way or anything else. It's just that much of a shithole.

Re: the OP. Your behaviour was odd, you should have spoken to someone about the situation instead of cramming kids on your knee and interrupting others etc.

Sorry, but HH pubs are limited time slots as they are so busy.

Our local usually closes half the place up about 3 hours before close and seem to resent you going in there 🤣

I’m feeling a bit sorry for the OP here. Your AIBU was about whether you should have left the pub. I actually don’t blame you for leaving the pub - the manager was very rude. I also think that it’s quite common to share tables in pubs - not sure what a hungry horse is but a country pub with table for 10, 4 people one end. Seems reasonable to me to sit 3 people at the far end.

OP, I think you're being given a bit of a hard time here, because you seem genuinely not to understand that it is strange to not have asked the staff to sort out a table for you. I think some people on here forget that there are many who haven't had the opportunity to eat out much and so haven't yet learned the appropriate etiquette.

I also think that it was strange of the other party to sit at a table that was clearly reserved for someone else and then crack the shits and complain to the manager. I would be super apologetic if I found I was keeping someone from the table they'd booked.

I think you'll know now, for future reference, that staff should always be approached before other patrons.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins Yes you were unreasonable.
You let your embarrassment at being picked up on your inappropriate behaviour, spoil the celebratory meal out for your parents' Ruby Wedding Anniversary.

You could have handled this so much better.

The people already sitting at the table were rude by not leaving when they knew the table had a reservation. OP was totally justified in sitting there.

I think the snobbery about HH speaks volumes about the response OP is getting here. I think many responders genuinely don’t know the etiquette for eating in this type of place. As someone who eats in pubs a lot, it really isn’t like a restaurant at all. You don’t wait to be seated. You find a free table and sit there. Sometimes you can see it’s reserved for someone else so you either finish on time or accept that when the time slot comes up you’ll be asked to move (either by staff or the customers). When you reserve a table, you move round the pub to find your table and say to the people sitting there, “sorry, we’ve reserved this from 4:30.” I’ve never known anyone not to move at that point.
If you’re not used to doing this though, I completely understand why you’d think the OP was BU. In a more formal setting it would be really odd!

So people would know enough to make a reservation and find a table with their name on it without asking, but not enough to think 'our table is taken maybe I will ask' yeah sure right it's snobishness ok then

Ah I get you now sorry