Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

Not quite sure why you didn't speak to the manager if 3 people were sitting at your booked table? They were there for a nice time. You were there for a nice time? So let the establishment sort it out???

I think it would have been best to ask the staff to sort it out

But I also think the manager was unnecessarily rude.

I am thinking it is probably a case of the management saying they could sit there. I definitely would have gone to management or a worker and asked what was up before just sitting and talking to whoever was already there. While I think your behavior a little odd in talking to the other customers yourself and just sitting down, it is ultimately the management who are at fault for not ensuring the table was cleared by the time of your reservation and for not removing the name tag if they weren't able to clear the table.

So you went and sat at a table where other people were eating. Very rude and entitled! You should have waited to be seated and let the staff sort it out.

I'm a waitress and I don't think I've actually seen someone sit at a table with people already at it. It's very rude. These people might have wanted a dessert, coffee or a drink, after their meal.

I have had people come in and we've given them a table we've reserved and then went and reserved somewhere else for the other people. We would allocate tables 2 hours before a party arrives so often squeeze people in if we know other tables are about to become available.

But still where was the staff? Even if I was rushed off my feet, I'd still try to greet everyone that comes through the door. They could have explained they are running slightly late and asked you to take a seat somewhere and they'll be with you asap. The kitchen might have been a bit slow that day or they were understaffed more often than not. It's hard to get people to work in hospitality now.

Weird I wouldn't of spoken to the guest while they were eating that's extremely rude. Why didn't you get a member of staff to escort you to your table. I feel you had a hand in ruining your evening.

What a funny thread. Totally unhinged to plonk yourself down on a table where other customers were already sitting. (Regardless of if it was meant to be reserved for you). OP you were in the wrong.

If people were sat at a table I'd reserved, I would ask a member of staff, that's their job to sort.
I do find it a little odd that you joined other people at their table just because 'it was your specified booking time'. Sometimes things run over as we know at meals. I'd find it incredibly rude and intrusive if people started sitting at my table before I was ready to leave and it would make me feel rushed and uncomfortable.
Put yourself in their shoes - strangers start seating themselves at your table. Just awkward. Def YABU imo anyway.

If you were a party of 4, then putting 4 of you on the other end of a table for 10 is fairly normal. With a polite, "is it okay if we sit here"

You take spaces when available in busy London pubs!

Agree it's a bit weird to go and sit at your table when the other guests hadn't finished. The manager was right in that you definitely should have just asked the staff where your table was, or if that was your table they should have dealt with it for you.

YABVU you should have spoken to the staff

This is so weird and even weirder that the OP doesn’t think they did anything wrong. Strange behaviour.

Well I don't think YABU. If you go to a pub and sit at a table that has a sign saying it's reserved for someone else at whatever time, you make sure you leave before. Some chain pubs - you just walk in and find the table with your name on (although it is usual to speak to the bar staff first, so yeah that's a bit unreasonable). But the staff should not have spoken to you like that

I’m sorry but what the heck is wrong with you!!! If you can’t already see you were in the wrong then there’s no use on posting on here and going back at each person telling you YES YABU

Plus they might’ve wanted dessert/coffee!!! Waw this is shocking and I would’ve told you straight if you approached my table…

You wait at the bar to be taken to your seat. You don’t just walk in and sit down whether your name is in the table or not. Very odd. The guests at the table were probably finishing off and with you coming over, sitting down then asking them to share is highly unreasonable given you didn’t wait to be seated and taken to your seat by staff. They have paid for either their meals and drinks by this point so it is rude of you to basically oust them and they would feel uncomfortable and pissed off.
The pub obviously were aware of your booking and had made arrangements for you but you didn’t wait to be seated and taken to the correct table. You have been rude and behaved as such.

What bizarre behaviour! I've had this happen, but I approached staff and there has either been a short wait, or we've been reseated. There's no way I'd have sat down while the other guests were sitting there! How rude and intimidating, never mind the fact you said there was room to sit down! I bet it would have been another story if someone had done that to you and your party! I'm truly embarrassed for you! Yes, YAB totally U!!! I also can't believe that a couple of other people on here think you're not! Bonkers!

Totally off topic, but there were two threads in the last couple of days asking mners what annoys them most about posts and one of the top irritants was "posters quoting the whole OP because everybody's already seen it".

Sorry, yours is the first example I've seen since then.

I'll get my coat ...

FWIW I've voted YANBU as I would be very pissed off too.
However, I would have gone to the bar first to find out what was going on with the table reservation. I wouldn't speak to the other guests myself, I'd have let the pub manager deal with it.
The venue seems a bit disorganised tbh 🙄 I wouldn't bother going back in a hurry.

First thing I would do is enquire with staff and say table booked for 7 but not enough room, especially being a ruby celebration and expecting my parents to have enough space to be comfortable. If it was just drinks I would politely ask next table if we could squeeze in but not if they were eating. Lesson learnt. Also if someone asked to share space me and DH wouldn't make a scene but would find it inconvenient and not be happy.

We do in our hungry Horse pub most of the time and definitely at peak times. If it is quiet or at a time that it doesn't get busy like mid week for breakfast then we can sit ourselves. There is always a sign to say either way. I wouldn't have sat with people at the table, I would have been mortified if this happened to me having strangers come and sit at my table while I was eating.

Am I the only one who is surprised at a hungry horse pub being so packed out at 4.30pm that there’s not enough space for OP to fit her guests at any other tables, even if pushed together?

I haven’t been to one for years but clearly they’re doing something right if they’re so busy that they have indirectly caused a mammoth of a MN thread!

Also OP seems to have zero self reflection on the matter, my best guess is that she assumed she would be voted 100% YANBU but IMO.. YABVVU. Something tells me that if OP was a member of the other party we’d be hearing on here about how VU the intruding party had been!

Even if it’s not normal when you book a table to wait to be seated. Even if ‘usually’ you do xyz.
At the point when you realised there were people still sat at ‘your reserved’ table wouldn’t this be the point when you let a staff member know you had arrived for your booking and mention there are people at the table that looks reserved for you.

the senario is likely that the table had been booked before your or even if it was a walk in, the people already seated still had the table even if they had finished and were just chatting.

you say you didn’t ask them to
move but sitting at someone else’s table is countermand to doing just that. It makes the other people feel awkward.

as a pp said maybe they were being slow and debating on coffees etc and the staff were getting another area ready for you.

many scenarios may have taken place that these people were at ‘your’ table.

the only thing you should have done is speak to a member of staff first, there really wasn’t anything else to do. Your disabled parents could have been brought a chair or sat at another vacant table whilst you all waited for the staff to sort your table out.

i can’t really stand Hungry Horse pubs but they do cheap kids food so we used to frequent when my kids were younger. When it’s busy I’ve always waited to be seated or mentioned to a member of staff we were there (on occasion when I’ve booked I’ve nodded to staff just to 100% make sure that even when my name is on the table that it’s ok to sit down/this is defo for me!)

Regardless of how anyone thinks you behaved towards the other patrons, the manager was massively out of line. I hope you reported her, and she was disciplined.

I think it unlikely there were zero other tables, our family goes out as a group of 6 we often find staff just push 2 tables together for us to make one large enough.
I think OP is looking at the situation through blinkers. That said, it's a bit of pub grub and a special occasion. Let it go. You was wrong, the manager was also wrong. Your evening was spoiled by the manager, you spoiled the evening for the group of three in turn. Its all swings and roundabouts. In this situation retrospectively, no one wins and a thread moaning about it where you dont respect the consensus that you were unreasonable, is also pointless if you don't pay heed and address your self serving behaviour.
Of course you could have sat your parents and kids on any available free seats whilst finding a staff member. You didn't want to. Regardless, what's done is done.
You don't want to remember the special occasion for the drama created after, so draw a line and move on.
Wagamama next year - then you can sit next to whomever you want :)