Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

But it wasn't the only table big enough, as you said staff had reserved another table for you. It's rude to sit at a table with people you don't know. I'm sure your disabled parents could have sat at a smaller table why you got everything cleared up by just bothering to speak to the staff.

Also you and 9 other people including 2 kids isn't other people's idea of a good night, so expecting to join them was self centred

Like Greene King or Marsdens and Ive never been told to wait unless its a pub with one of them lecterns at the entrance. Its pretty obvious if someone elses name is on reservation card that theyre coming to eat at 4.30 and other guests should shift. Why anyone thinks its acceptable for anyone to sit and not move when its clearly someone elses table and for staff to get chewy, needs their head looking at.

Theres a right odd bunch on here today.
You are definitely not being unreasonable. It may have been better to ask staff where you should sit as someone had nicked your table but they prob complained as they knew they were in the wrong. The manager was a complete arse and needs retraining. The other custs need to find their manners and you had a couple of choices none of which were wrong: Speak to custs or staff or wait til they moved or sit at the end of a 10 seat table. Ignore the oddballs

Everyone is missing the point. Was it unreasonable to leave after being embarrassed by the way staff had told them off? Staff should not do this. They may point out the error, or say they understand how the situation arose. The prior behaviour was not ideal, but it does not give staff the green light to embarrass someone who, at worst, was a bit clumsy.

It was perfectly reasonable to leave after being embarrassed by the staff.

The OP got off lightly by the sounds of it!

Because they were leaving soon??? Dear God what a load of petty nitpickers on here tonight. Some nights the ridiculous gets supportive comments and then theres this tirade of crap. Unbelievable.

OP I think you’re getting a hard time on here tbh, you booked and reserved a table.. your name was on that table.. when will people stop making excuses for lazy arse people who think “ah I don’t care if it’s reserved I’ll sit here anyway!”

people keep on at the OP and yes OP you could have asked a member of staff sooner.. however, offering to share the table is not unreasonable considering you booked this table in the first place.. you didn't ask them to move, or complain to them you just asked to share the table because by the sounds of things there were no other tables available.

why didn’t the people who came in and PLONKED there arses on the table that OP reserved ask if there was any others available? The sign was clearly stated on that table that it’s reserved.. it’s not rocket science to know people will be turning up for that table🤷‍♀️ so no OP I don’t think you are being unreasonable.

this is the fault of the people who came in before you and just took a reserved table that DIDNT have there name on it.. but also a management issue by the pub/restaurant.. members of staff should have taken the previous people to a table that was free OR explained that there was no tables available at that time.

the only thing you could have done differently was asked, but if you’ve been advised to come in and take a seat at your booked table then this is hardly your fault OP..

the previous people got pissed off and complained because they got caught on someone else’s table! Normal people would see a reservation sign on there and go “oh no we can’t sit there”..

definitely complain about how this was handled! They should change there policy and not advise people to just sit at there booked table incase this situation happened, when I worked in a pub/restaurant I was advised to find the people somewhere else to sit OR explain we had no room for them.. a member of staff should have told them this.

You were unreasonable to go and just sit down without speaking to a member of staff first when you found someone at your table, although honestly and truthfully, as someone who has to deal with people sitting themselves on reserved tables and then the people it's reserved for coming to me and I get it on the neck from both parties, I kinda wish more people would do what you did to point out to the interlopers that they were the ones who caused the problem, not me or the people who booked the table.
Of course I don't know if they were told they could sit there, so that secret little wish is just from my own experience of people being selfish arseholes, sitting at clearly marked reserved tables, and then kicking off when they need to move.

As for your question, well you weren't unreasonable to leave if you felt unwelcome, but again only in my experience, people do not like being told things even politely, that they don't want to hear, especially things they realise in retrospect should have realised and didn't take any responsibility for themselves, and feel embarrassed and aggrieved, no matter what the actual words tone, manner, facial expressions or colour of the person's top telling them. I'm not saying that's what's happened here but it happens regularly enough to make me wonder.

And indeed if the manager was actually rude about it, then no, that's not on because they should have moved the reserved sign from that table when someone else sat there, regardless of the reason, if they were going to let them sit there, though they may not have had a choice because I've literally had people sit on a reserved table and then tell me they'll go when they're ready and short of getting physical or calling the police, there's not a lot you can do when people point blank refuse to move!

And although I agree were the manager genuinely rude, then they shouldn't have been, but I can see how they might be frustrated at the situation caused by two different sets of people, not because they have to sort it out as such, but because they are getting the blame for other people's thoughtless and rude behaviour and that is more and more common these days. No one wants to listen when asked to do something by "The staff" but also want them to solve the problem when other customers are causing issues to them.

I don't think anyone behaved particularly well here to be honest.

Although I have previously posted, and think the OP was unreasonable, it feels like this is turning into a pile on now. Maybe we should all move on?

You were weird. Reserved sign was probably put on shortly before you arrived but before the others were ready to leave. Happens frequently.

Reservation or not they’re not going to push paying customers off their table

"I'm not a rude person" says OP after taking actions most consider rude

Child sat on your knee? Not easy to eat. Group with no children now have children there and people on their table. Joining them was rude.

Maybe staff had or were planning to push tables together to make a big enough table. Like restaurants and pubs often do.

Exactly

Party of ten arrives at 3, seated at said table because an hour and a half is plenty of time to eat

Party eat and most leave around 4. 3 stick around to order dessert or finish a drink

Staff stick a sign on around this time because they aren't going to block the table off all day for a booking and loose revenue off other customers. Maybe give remaining party a heads up

Remaining 3 are waiting for their taxi and figure people are never on time so stay on the table. Staff notice this and begin to set up another table, figure Reservations will come and speak to them.

OP turns up and starts to (in their eyes) passively aggressively set the table up

Taxi arrives and remaining 3 leave. Mention to staff on the way out "watch that party. Think they might be trouble. Just started sitting at the table with us passive agressively"

Pink shirt comes over - "excuse me Mrs Unusual Name, I've just had some customers complain about your attitude. Please do not be rude to others and make them move from their table whilst they finish their drink. We had arranged another table as we could see there were still customers here but we had a free table and if had just let us know we'd have shown you to it. In the future if you have a problem please speak to myself or a member of my team. Thank you."

Other patrons are watching because they'd seen batshit Mrs Unusual Name setting up around the other customers and are invested now. Or because its natural reactions to watch when the manager comes over, good or bad.

I find these responses really bizarre. Even reservations and everything else aside, if you’re a party of 3 in a busy establishment sitting at a table for 10, surely, it’s utterly unreasonable NOT to expect you’ll have to share. You have to be a right CF to block a table more than 3 times your party size and I don’t believe for a second that a staff member would sit down 3 people at such a large table without at least splitting the table. They’d be losing too much potential income.

Five adults and two children is seven people.

This is such a dumb first world problem. Noone will die from having to share a table. Everyone needs to chill out and stop harrassing the OP.

TBF, when you put it like that it does sound more reasonable

Since you jumped straight at the "another table" part, you maybe missed the point it was making that it would have involved staff 15 mins earlier.

"If I was expecting disabled members of my party to arrive any minute then I would have looked for a member of staff as soon as I arrived to get either another table or to get the overstayers asked to free up the table if they had been told they only had until our booking time.

Then it may have been sorted out before your parents arrived."

If you had sought out a staff member at 4:30 (when you arrived), it could have been all sorted out before 4:45. Your parents would have arrived to a table to yourselves and straight into celebrating.

(By the way, the rest of the post was mostly supportive of your position on the manager. Edited to add: So even the part you have objected to was just an additional reason to head for staff right away in future, not having a go at you).

A bit like a parking thread, I would like a diagram!

@EmptyTheFrickingBins - do you acknowledge that you should have spoken to a member of staff when you saw there were people sitting at your reserved table?
That is the normal way to handle these things.

As an ex-Hospitality worker, OP, YANBU. This is because the table reservation markers should have been kept up to date; when they initially moved the 3 guests to the table with your name on it (presumably a very large table if it was for 10pax), they ought to have removed your reservation sign and placed on the new table.

If pub staff want to prevent that happening, they should have general, non-named reservation markers to allow them to pivot and move guests around in the moment, in which instance I'm sure you would have asked which table was yours and been none the wiser your table was swapped.

(Though I do agree, a lil strange you didn't ask the staff to move the other guests but that's neither here nor there as you didn't cause the confusion).

@Lotus3 Apparently there was no other table. OP is adamant that there cannot have been another big enough. As she keeps saying so, I'm assuming that she is also ruling out tables pushed together to make one big enough.

I know the bit about other table is not your main point. It wasn't mine either but that's the bit OP responded to (quoted here) from a suggestion that fetching staff at 4:30 to either give another table, or hurry up the overstayers, may have had it all cleared up by the time her parents arrived.

As an ex hospitality worker I would of sorted this myself if I’d been asked
rather than have OP unnecessarily torpedoing in

There a 1001 and 1 reasons they were sat there ranging from being a twat , not noticing and being told too

all could of been dealt with and tbh thing like this happened all the time generally OP would of got an apology and a free drink

You just said it yourself- you would have sorted it. Thats after the fact. Had the pub manager done as I suggested, there would be nothing that needed sorting. 🤷‍♀️

These places are pubs that sell food not restaurants with a Maitre de managing the floor full time which is obviously reflected in the price

I understand that, but I still expect a good level of service and management standards within a pub environment. It would have been as simple as whipping the reservation card off the table and replacing on the new table. Or noticing that you have a booking arriving shortly and giving the table a heads up they may need to move. Or noticing a large group that's walked in looking awkward and ask if they need assistance. That's not Michelin service, that's the basics.

(I'm not ranting at you btw- this just gets my goat. We in the UK are constantly subjected to half-assed service and it drives me nuts 😅)

I think service isn't really that great anymore.