Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

The other customers were rude and entitled - if you're cheeky enough to sit at a table with a 'reserved' sign on it, you know you're going to be asked to move as soon as those who reserved the table arrive. They should have left as soon as you arrived, particularly as they'd finished their meals.

The manager also behaved very inappropriately and clearly needs more customer service training. However, I do think you could have avoided some of the unpleasantness if you'd simply spoken to a member of staff upon arrival.

Seems kinda weird an able bodied person at the table you were sat at didn’t offer your elderly disabled parents their seats …. Just shoe horned the guests of honour in on some one else’s table 😂

It was poor etiquette and rude to behave as you did. You could easily have spoken to a member of staff but chose to make the other customers feel uncomfortable instead.

However, I can see we are all wasting our breath. You clearly don’t want to hear anyone unless they agree with you. Talk about thick skin.

It definitely isn't polite or appropriate to sit at a table that's reserved. The whole point of those signs is to let other diners know when a table/seat isn't available!

However like most on this thread, I'd have gone to staff immediately and asked them what to do-so they could ask the other people to leave OR direct me/us to sit somewhere else. That isn't my job to sort out a situation like that OP-it wasn't your place to. You go to staff and explain if there' a problem like this. You don't just sit down next to the people concerned. It was a strange thing to do, not socially the acceptable.

I haven't RTFT so I am not sure if you've explained exactly what the manager's attitude was like?

This is not what you do!! I’m face-palming. How uncomfortable for the people at the table! You ruined their night by being weird.

Aw, what a shame. Perhaps they should have realised the time and vacated their table, given they had finished eating.

It’s bizarre to sit down at a table where other parties are still seated and finishing up. Usual protocol is to inform staff you’ve arrived and wait to be seated. I agree that there must have been some sort of mistake if your name was on the reservation but that still doesn’t give you the right to basically gate crash someone else’s meal.

this, tbh.
the manager shouldn't have been rude (if she was) but what you did was just so far out of the realm of what most people would do in this scenario she was probably a bit surprised and off-put

You do not have to leave your table in a pub just because you have finished eating.

It was a building full of chairs. Stop using your disabled parents as some kind of pity card. Your behaviour was really strange.

OP you hopefully now realise you were the one who was rude. It’d love to hear the story from the other people’s point of view:

”Today we were sat at the end of a large table where we had been seated when we arrived. We had a good enough meal, although a Hungry Horse it was quite nice with plenty of food. During the meal a waitress put a reserved card on the far end of the table. After we had finished our main meal and were waiting to order dessert, a couple of people arrived and started to hover at the far end of the large table, whispering and glancing over at us. Then more people arrived and continued glancing at us, huffing and puffing and ostentatiously looking at the reserved sign for nearly 15 mins. They were pretty noisy and bumped into us as they then decided to sit down. One of the group said to us in a pompous and irritated manner ‘you know this table is booked for us? We will sit here now, you need to shuffle up’. They took ages to settle down and plonked high chairs next to us, and two elderly people talked in loud voices about how rude it was having people sitting at ‘their’ table. We decided to leave and whilst paying told the staff how rude the large table had been”. AIBU

@Redglitter "What on earth is the relevance of the colour of her top? Or would you have been less offended if it had been another colour"

At least read the first page Redglitter. Post 6 asked the same question as you (and rightly so), and in post 8 the OP explained that she'd copied and pasted her written complaint to the restaurant.

(I shall read on now. If someone else has already replied to you I apologise!)

OMG OP you sat down at a table where other people were still finishing their meal?!*!??? That is absolutely ridiculous - you should have talked to staff in order for them to seat you. You wouldn't even do that at MacDonalds. YABtotallyU

Well, the OP has flounced off as they haven't got the responses they wanted from this, which tells its own story.

It would be very interesting to hear the pubs and other patrons side of this occurrence; if the OP behaved in the pub in the manner that they have responded in this thread, I cam imagine a totally different version.

You really should have spoken to staff. They would have sorted it out with no ill feeling.

They should have posted it on FB where they'd have got omg huni that's afwul. U shud totally kick off. Which one is it I'll leave a review...

Then you go to the Google review page and there's 50 one star reviews about the evil manager who wants to kill old people.

🤣

You just ask the staff!!

Even if it was a mix-up it's for them to sort out!!

@EmptyTheFrickingBins If I was expecting disabled members of my party to arrive any minute then I would have looked for a member of staff as soon as I arrived to get either another table or to get the overstayers asked to free up the table if they had been told they only had until our booking time.

Then it may have been sorted out before your parents arrived.

I am wondering if the reason you are struggling to accept being wrong is that you were maybe thinking of a general pub, just drinking, situation where 3 peoole seated at a table for 10 would be less surprised at being asked if ok to share. I can see why you would have been shocked at the outcome if it had been such a situation.

If I had been one of the 3 and IF we were supposed to have vacated the table anyway (rather than another having been set up for you) and you had disabled parents desperate to sit, I'd like to think I would have interpreted that as you trying to just get seated and not trying to rush us.

You can't know what the staff have arranged though. So when a reservation is involved (or for a meal even if no booking but you wanted to ask another group to share a large table) then best go via the staff.

But...

It was still not OK for the manager to publicly embarass you like that. I imagine the other party maybe described it as you asking them to leave but even then the staff member should calmly, quietly, say that it's best to let staff deal with fulfilling reservations in future.

Also, has anyone on the thread pointed out that if they really had another table set up for you, they should have removed your name from that one? The situation simply doesn't arise then.

If they didn't have another table and had expected the other party to vacate the table by 4:30, then staff should have been gently encouraging them to finish up long before you finally said something, 15 mins after your reservation time.

You were still in the wrong to have not gone via staff though.

I suspect that in a formal restaurant you wouldn't have dreamt of approaching the other customers yourself and that it may be the crossover between some tables being 1st come 1st served in pub mode and some reserved that had you (wrongly) thinking it was ok to do that.

TLDR:

The manager was out of order, and unprofessional, in her handling of the situation and a complaint to the chain about that is valid imo. She WBU in that.

But you would BU to not accept that you should have gone via staff in the 1st place. It should be possible to have your reasons why you thought it should be fine to do what you did, but to also accept, in hindsight, that it was inappropriate.

On whether to vote YANBU to leave after that public dressing down (regardless of how that situation was reached) it depends who pushed that decision. It was a celebration for someone's ruby anniversary. So I think the celebrating couples' feelings on it should have taken priority. Does "because we no longer felt welcome" include them?

Sorry op YABU it is common practice to wait for people to finish and not hurry them up. I had a reservation booked and I had to wait 30 minutes for the table to be empty and cleared. You should have spoken to a member of staff.

I do think the manager was unreasonable in the way she spoke to you. It was a misunderstanding and as a result they lost your custom and your money.

There is no winners only losers.

You were SO unreasonable. My partner is disabled so I would have to get him a seat when entering the restaurant too but I would have pulled him a seat out and then gone to speak to a staff member. You 100% wouldn't just sit at the table other customers are sat at - regardless!!! It's SO RUDE.

But it is still rude…the people at table had probably booked table for their meal too….pub hadn’t cleared plates yet. They’re entitled to have their table until they’ve had bill and asked to leave because someone else needed table. That is the pubs call- never ever yours. It is NOT your table. It’s the pubs

in this situation, I’d have seen someone was still at table with my reservation on, and gone off to find a member of staff and asked what to do. Then waited politely at bar or somewhere for it to be sorted.

Breathing down the other customers necks and intruding on their privacy was not acceptable . Sorry, no, it’s just so rude. You may not have said a rude thing to them..it’s how you made the, feel by intruding in their space, and making them uncomfortable . The table isn’t “yours” even if it has your name on, and definitely not if someone else is still sat there no matter what booking time states or that the “plates were empty”. Maybe they wanted coffee, maybe they were eating on taxi arriving, etc etc.

. How old are you that you think that’s acceptable behaviour! You had a lesson in manners from “ lady in pink” - don’t imagine she as best pleased either in having pissed off customers complaining and having to school an adult in what are acceptable manners and that the tables belong to pub not you.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins do they share tables at hungry horse?. Is that what you are trying to tell us?. If so then YANBU

Agreed!

Whether upscale restaurant or a pub, if I have booked table always speak to the staff

Absolutely crazy to act like that. The establishment you were eating at and the guests sitting having a conversation after/during their meal could have had hundreds of reasons for being there that you were unaware of. But no, you just railroaded your elderly guests and plonked yourself at the table. Lucky it wasnt someone a bit more forthright who may have told you politely to bugger off.

I am wondering what kind of response you are expecting from emailing the Hungry Horse. They could come up with anything as a reason and make you look like an entitled idiot.

Sorry you have jumped to so many conclusions and ruined someone elses meal for the simple act of asking a manager to show you to your table. Wow.