Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

Bloody hell! You had NO right to ask other customers if you could sit at their table whilst they were enjoying a (possibly family) meal out. How can they continue their private conversation and continue eating with strangers at the table?! I certainly wouldn't be able to finish eating and would also have left.
Also you've no idea what other people are there for or what they're discussing. They may be discussing private health issues, financial concerns or have lost a loved one and be discussing funeral arrangements fgs! Have some consideration for others

But this was 3 people sat at one assumes a long table for 10?

so 3 up one end - space by left of each person, then 4 who arrived with OP at other end

ie 12x45
3xx67

Thats faily normal to sit down at a table for 10 if the other end is clearlty free (never mind that they had reserved the whole thing)

I reckon the cheeky HH had actually said - oh those 3 will fit onto that table for 10 with the 7 who reserved it.

(and in most pubs they reserve the tables with a beer mat - SURNAME from 7pm, so you know you can grab it until 7 and that at 7, someone will turn up (and generally be british and point at the beer mat and say oh thats me) and you will politely get up and move.

If you had reserved a table you needed to ask the staff where your table was.

Sorry OP I think you were rude to sit at the table that other people were finishing up their meal. It doesn’t matter if you had reservations you should have spoken to the staff before taking it upon yourself to ruin someone else’s evening.

All you had to was speak to a member of staff and I’m sure your parents could have either stood for a few minutes or sat at a seat near the bar until your table was ready.

No eating place would allow anyone to intrude on someone else’s table instead of waiting on their table being ready no matter if they were elderly, disabled or like you a bit entitled.

You just do not plonk yourself down in the middle of someone else’s dining experience ever

Posters are just following the time that was set at the start the of the thread. Op your message to the pub calling the other people guests was confusing it made it sound like they were part of your group , other customers would have been better.
They were wrong to be at your table they either sat their without asking or were told to leave by x time and they didn't.
Logically you should have spoke to staff to make it easier for yourself but you did nothing wrong. The other people were embarrassed at how rude they were by not letting you share when really they should have apologised and left.

It baffles me when people come on AIBU when they are SO DETERMINED that they are right and literally hundreds of people telling them otherwise and explaining why will make no difference! Just go into an echoey room and shout, you'll get more agreement 😀

I don't think YABU at all, I had a similar experience this weekend in a pub, very young bar staff ignoring patrons then issues arising where customers are vocal about it and then leaving upset. I think there may be an issue socially now where the Gen Z attitudes aren't harmonious with older citizens expectations and the cultural attitudes aren't translating well!

Nasty and sneery. You've no idea about their financial situation, maybe this was pushing the boat out for them, maybe they had saved up for it. Not everyone can afford fine dining these days.

Totally in the wrong, @EmptyTheFrickingBins . If I've understood your posts correctly. I'm not surprised the other "guests" were fuming.

Do you feel proud of yourself by mocking someone else's budget or choice of food they enjoy?

Well said. I’ve never even been to a HH but this is a completely unnecessary dig.

To add, in my experience working in pubs and restaurants tables will always be free for those who have booked ahead and reserved, if anyone is still sitting there when they arrive they'd know to shift asap!

@EmptyTheFrickingBins take heart - the comments may be against you 😆 but almost 40% don’t agree you were BU. It’s not as unanimous as some are saying.

@GreySantaRabbit how very mean of you! I thought the OP was rude but you’ve now taken that award! What did you get out of being sneery and snobby in your post? There was just need to stoop that low towards a stranger on the internet. I dot know what a HH pub is but I’m sure it is quite suitable for a family celebration meal. It is just unfortunate for the OP there was an issue with their name being at a table that others were already using

It's usual to wait to be seated when you go into a restaurant.

You need to get the staff to sort these sort of issues out. Customers shouldn't be approaching each other like this, it never goes well. If ever you have a problem with a service you're being provided with, even when that's caused by other people, refer it to the service provider as its their responsibility to resolve it.

A Hungry Horse for a ruby weddding anniversary??
<misses point of thread>

But seriously OP, you wait to be seated. You don't go over to already seated guests and ask to join them! Have you never been out before?

Your behaviour was really odd. Your poor parents. Not much of a celebration for them...

i think this answer nails it

I'd certainly have approached the staff. It's standard practice to "check in" with staff when you have a reservation. Even if it's just to confirm, "so, we're table 17, by that window, right?"
And even more so when you find other people sat at the table with your name on! I'd have presumed some sort of mix up and gone to find a staff member. Certainly not started a conversation with the people already sat there, and then asked to share...? That's really weird.

To then flounce out and spoil a lovely family occasion for the sake of a bit more mis-communication? Very silly.

I work in a Hungry Horse and bookings go wrong all the time. We put out reservation signs with names and times but people sit there anyway, or say they'll be finished by x time but are still eating dessert etc. It happens all the time and where possible we just reserve a different table for the booking, I'm sure if you had told a member of staff you were there for your booking they would have had a table for you, or dealt with the other customers if necessary. You had a booked a table, it didn't have to be that one.

sexist???

Are you ok!

A Hungry Horse for a ruby weddding anniversary??
<misses point of thread>

Could you expand a bit more on this?

What is the problem with their choice of venue, particularly during a COL crisis? Or any time for that matter?

Except many are probably answering the OP's question Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager? I think OP was rude to sit at their table but not BU for leaving. Other posters may be voting that OP's behaviour was BU. The title and OP are going to produce mixed voting results.

I have to reserve a table in my local pub and, like you OP, they put a little chalk sign on the table with my name, how many people and what time. Often, I've arrived to find other people there but I still sit at that table (I book for 10 to 13 people so not many tables can fit that many). As other guests arrive, they also sit at the table until the people who were originally there have to leave because we point to our reserved sign.

I've never been told off by staff for doing that - and nor have I asked to wait before seating.

So, no. I don't think YABU in the slightest.