Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

She handled it badly, but I think you should have spoken to the staff before the people themselves.

Well, yes you should have asked staff to deal with it. That said, I have no idea what the manager thought she was achieving by telling you off. You're just a customer, same as the other customers. It's the staff's job to manage these situations and that includes heading off interactions like the one you had by being observant. The only thing the manager has achieved here is creating two sets of pissed off customers rather than one.

Wow, overreaction much?

Honestly OP like everyone else is saying, I think the way you dealt with this was odd. I'm not saying you were rude to the other customers, or that the manager was in reason to be rude to you, but it just feels like a strange way of dealing with something which didn't need to become an issue, it sounds like the pub were dealing with it. Most people in this scenario would literally just speak to a member of staff, and it could all be solved quickly and without fuss. If there were people sitting at the table I had reserved I wouldn't just sit down, I would just speak to a member of staff saying I'm so and so and have a reservation at x time.

I have just seen that a pp said : "and in most pubs they reserve the tables with a beer mat - SURNAME from 7pm, so you know you can grab it until 7 and that at 7, someone will turn up (and generally be british and point at the beer mat and say oh thats me) and you will politely get up and move."

If that is widespread then I reduce my saying that OP was BU (already only for part of it) to say only accidentally BU. I can understand it seeming reasonable to her if that's the norm in some other pubs and if HH are not clear on policy in that location.

Either way, I still say the manager was BU in her clumsy handling of it

This has got to be a wind up!! I have never in my life known anyone to be as rude as sitting down at someone else's table in a pub because they've not actually left yet. OP is being so short sighted as to keep saying "But it was our table!!". My local is a Hungry Horse and it's families like this coming in for their special occasions that ruin it for the regulars. The sense of entitlement is astounding!!

@SoapiesChoice

I have just seen that a pp said : "and in most pubs they reserve the tables with a beer mat - SURNAME from 7pm

That just isn't true. I have never seen a name and time written on a beer mat - it would probably get overlooked as there tend to be lots of beer mats in pubs! Most pubs put a reserved sign on tables, so you have to ask which table is yours. Two pubs near me have little blackboard signs that they write the name and time on but we would still initially approach staff to ask - people don't usually wander all around the pub tables looking for their named table.

Okay let me say

Most pubs in London who put reserved mats down our surname or first name and time. So you basically know which table is yours when you arrive. Theses are not "hosted venues" likes fancy restaurant with a greeter on the door. Things like youngs chains etc

Very common for things like Sunday lunch service.

YABVVU

Ok, from my perspective both sides were in the wrong here.

OP shouldn’t have just sat down whilst other people were still at the table and instead should’ve approached a member of staff to ask what was happening with their table. Just sitting down at the table like that is weird behaviour.

But I also think the pub wasn’t completely in the right here either. If the pub was already in the process of arranging another table for OP’s party, then they should’ve taken the name reservation sign off the original table. The Manager also was out of line for shouting at a customer over something, that frankly, she could’ve just discussed calmly with them.

They sound silly getting so worked up about it, but the manager was the one who was really rude. Totally unprofessional. YANBU.

The regulars don't own it.

Fuck me. There's some right nippy folk on here today. So I missed the OPs post. Shoot me. I'm sure I'm not the first person to do so on a thread 🙄

Of course not. But generally they get to know other tables and parties who are also regulars and hence are decent to each other, and the staff, and aren't rude. If there's ever a table being difficult with staff, rude, pushing in in front of other customers, being loud, shouting across the dining area and generally being obnoxious you can near enough guarantee it's a family who've come specially for a big meal out. High expectations and low manners.

Our local HH will just leave reserved signs out even hours later when presumably the people have been and gone

And there's a review of a staff member at my workplace which says they were rude and surly... I was there for the incident and they calmly told the customer they had been in the wrong with their actions.... as I say, some people feel anyone telling them they're unreasonable are rude

If I intended to be "nippy" (which means cold where I live), my post would have been very different.

I wouldn't have said your question was a good one and I wouldn't have apologised in advance if someone else had already responded to you.

Your response to me was much snippier.

Here: At least read the first fucking page before coming in after ten pages, arrogantly assuming you're the first person to spot something in the OP.

How's that for snippy?

Much nippier
Thanks. I thought so

(which means more than just cold where I live, hence my usage of the word)
Well that's perfectly fair enough.

Doesn't take away from you being a pedantic....
I question whether answering your question was pedantry

...pita
Evidently

It's definitely time for my nap now.

Sorry but yabu completely op.
i agree with others that i hope the pink top lady does not get in trouble, but no doubt will.
you could have avoided all this, and your family standing around for 15mins if you had just asked.
i think maybe if you really looked back, were you rude to the other couple? This can’t have come from nowhere.

’nippy’ means more than one thing here too.
it means array, aggressive, rude etc
”did you mean to be so nippy?”

If the OP had been standing around waiting for 15 minutes s surely some staff would've approached her in this time. I know service standards are slipping greatly these days but even so... 15 minds and no one acknowledged incoming customers?

Had my table I reserved had others sat on it the first thing I would have done was gone and spoke to a member of staff.

Put yourself in the others place had you been eating a meal and someone came and sat at your table how would you feel? Rushed? Uncomfortable? Spoiling the end of a nice meal out?

I don’t think you handled the situation right.

This is odd - at no restaurant ever have I just made my way to a table - you wait to be escorted? It doesn’t matter if its in their policy or not - its polite and it lets the restaurant staff know you have arrived.

OP, it’s not the other guests’ fault. They are just relaxing at the restaurant after eating their meal. They have no idea when/if another party is arriving. Table allocation is not their problem and nothing to do with them.

It is weird that you sat at the table while they were there (and probably passive aggressive, though I expect you’ll deny that).

You should have told a member of staff that your booked table was occupied and let them sort it out. That’s their job.

I think you need to accept you were weird and just move on.