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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to read about nice, kind, thoughtful DPs now?

145 replies

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 25/02/2024 19:48

I have just read the 'glass by the dishwasher' thread and am shocked and horrified by the lazy, rude abusive bastards out there. My heart goes out to every woman who has been a victim of one (as indeed I was in my previous relationship). It has made me feel quite down and I thought we needed an antidote - so what has your DP done for you that has made you feel loved and cherished? I'll start: when I came home from hospital after an operation my DP (not the fuckwitted previous one, my lovely current one) brought me my meals in bed. On the first day I wanted just bread, ham and tomato - I was very specific that I didn't want it as a sandwich (operations do weird things to your brain). He brought up a beautifully laid out tray and on the plate was buttered bread covered with ham, all cut out in the shape of a reindeer with a cookie cutter. He had used a cherry tomato as the reindeer nose. It was adorable. He's a keeper.

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 25/02/2024 19:50

My dp cleaned and tidied the cupboard under the stairs yesterday. It's so neat and tidy and easy for me to find my gloves and hat now.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 25/02/2024 19:52

He's still a keeper, but not long after we were married I had to have a lump removed from my breast. He picked me up and looked after me that night, then he took the next day off work, settled me on the sofa with Dirty Dancing (which he'd bought specially, it was just out on video) and ran round after me all day.

Any time I've been ill over the past 40 years (not often thank goodness) he's stepped up and done everything. I wouldn't expect anything else from him.

Exasperatednow · 25/02/2024 19:52

Mine did the ironing today. As he does every Sunday afternoon.

Hiddenvoice · 25/02/2024 19:53

I took my little one to a class today and when I came
home my dh had changed all the bedding, washed it and hung it out to dry. He’d then made a little packed lunch for both the little one and myself before he’d left for work.
It might not seem lime major things but very much appreciated especially as it allowed me a chance to just sit and relax for a bit during nap time.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/02/2024 19:55

Mine drove home while I was on hospital with our newborn and had absolutely no food. He made a huge platter of food - hot and cold. It was just great and he just went to do much effort with it.

He gets up with the children every day to give me an hour or so in bed!

IggOrEgg · 25/02/2024 19:55

My husband is a beauty. A big one is that he never, ever makes me feel ‘less’ despite me struggling with a few chronic pain / fatigue conditions, he tells me all the time that I’m a great mum and a great wife, I’ve never felt anything less than absolutely adored by him. We’ve been together 9 years and he still looks at me like I hung the moon.

KingofCats · 25/02/2024 19:55

I dumped a glass by the dishwasher man.
Now I have a man who does all the little things all the time. He keeps a “KingofCats emergency pack” in his bag for days out with tampons, paracetamol and spare contact lenses (unprompted by me).

Ozgirl75 · 25/02/2024 19:57

I’ve been married 20 years to a kind, loving and thoughtful man. He always makes me a cup of tea in the morning, he is an equal partner in household things. He does about 1/3 of the school runs, he always clears up after I cook and cooks often as well. For my Christmas present he organised the most brilliant day out at an event that I’m sure I’d never mentioned but had always wanted to do. He’s a brilliant husband and father in every way.

GivingOutYards · 25/02/2024 19:57

My DH does all the laundry, half the cooking and cleaning and brings me tea in bed at the weekend.

Dacadactyl · 25/02/2024 19:58

Yeah, my DH did the ironing too. I loathe it with a vengeance.

Also sorted me out with some paracetamol and a hot water bottle after I got horrendous stabbing period pains out of nowhere.

Calypsocuckoo · 25/02/2024 19:58

My DH is just so lovely and kind, we usually do different but equal jobs around the house but if I have a flare up of my chronic pain condition, he will just step in and do everything. If I want to have a rest and a lazy day he will encourage me to stay in bed, and will bring me drinks, meals, snacks etc. after I had DD and I had a long stay in hospital he made me all the the foods I had missed and my favourite type of tea. he is a great cook, and generous in bed as well so he’s a keeper ❤️

Iamblossom · 25/02/2024 19:59

My DH makes me a coffee in bed every weekend morning.
He cooks every night.
He makes me laugh every day.

He is not perfect. I am not perfect. He can behave appallingly. As can I. But I know he loves me, he takes care of me, he is proud of me and he appreciates me and he misses me when I am away.

Mammma91 · 25/02/2024 19:59

I’ve just lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly this week. I’m heavily pregnant and we have a young child already. He works full time and has picked up all the slack, he’s been so gentle and patient with me. I could go on and on about how incredible he is. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect and he’s made mistakes but he is my very best friend and his love knows no bounds and I count my lucky blessings everyday I get to spend my life with him. I picked an incredible man for my children and I’ve been one of the lucky ones.

Emelene · 25/02/2024 20:00

My DH is amazing. Every week he does the food shop with our toddler and most of the cooking. Today he took both kids and did play doh etc so I could have a nap (I was up in the night with poorly one, as he was out early volunteering). He tells me I’m beautiful and he loves me every day. My 3 year old DS has started saying it too (first spontaneous “Mummy you’re booful” today). 🥰 They are small things but they add up. We’ve been married 7.5 years and are very happy.

RockAndRollerskate · 25/02/2024 20:00

We have two small children and I carry none of the mental load around finance, money, bills, shopping meal planning or cooking. I never cook. He even makes my lunches for work and makes sure I have snacks.

He earns a lot more than I do, but if the kids are sick, he takes equal time off with me (or more) and will pick up/drop off 50:50

Raccaccoonie · 25/02/2024 20:02

Sometimes we get the house tidy for the cleaner then she can't come on that day. DH hoovers all the rooms on his lunch break (works from home) so the tidying isn't wasted!

Justcallmebebes · 25/02/2024 20:02

I have an absolute gem who more than pulls his weight and always, always puts me and my family first even though my kids and gkids aren't his. Second time lucky cos first was a horror

My dds also have lovely partners who more than pull their weight. There are good men out there

DiveBombingSeagull · 25/02/2024 20:04

Loads of lovely little and big things.

He regularly goes down to my Mums to stack and move round logs and coal for her fire as he doesn't want her to do it herself.

He let the cat (that he is a bit scared of) sit on his lap when they are scared by the neighbours bigger cat, if me and DD are out.

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 25/02/2024 20:05

'he still looks at me like I hung the moon.'

This is so lovely!

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 25/02/2024 20:07

I used to get so envious when I read threads like this. However, I now have the current Mr Pony who looks after me like I am Queen of the World. He makes me coffee every morning, loads the dishwasher and does the washing. He redesigned our garden, looks after the cars and does all the DIY we need. He also makes sure that whatever we are doing doesn't overly aggravate my bad back, and is always ready to help me over gates or down uneven steps. He's kind, considerate, funny and generous. He buys me flowers regularly and eats my experimental cooking without complaint 🙂.

He really is totally wonderful, and he is my world.

DanielGault · 25/02/2024 20:07

Mine does everything for me as I'm pretty much incapacitated. When we met, I was totally physically able, and he was a complete gent. If Carlsberg did husbands 😊

Justcashnosweets · 25/02/2024 20:07

My DP is not perfect, but he is a wonderful man. He's kind, caring and he works as many hours as he can so i can work part time, but still more than pulls his weight when it comes to household chores. He parents without being asked, which has always been a given. He frequently tells me to rest when he see's that I am knackered from shift work, or just the menopause kicking my arse. He puts mine and Dd's needs above his own. On top of that, he is great in bed and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. ❤️

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 25/02/2024 20:10

I go away for work a lot.

He does the lions share of everything.
kids hobbies, after school stuff, parents evenings, school runs, diy, laundry, shopping, general tidying, cooking.

When I’m home, I do my bit too but he is pretty much the parent, plus he WFH 4 days a week.

He absolutely adores our kids, they come first over everything and every one.
Always been this way.

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 25/02/2024 20:11

I’ve been away again, he is picking me up from the station and has a takeaway warming in the oven for me.
School uniforms will be done and ready.
He has had a non stop weekend with kids hobbies.

Wisterical · 25/02/2024 20:11

I am happily single so can't contribute except to say I hope all the women on mumsnet who are in crap relationships read this thread and realise that posters are describing how a relationship should be and raise their standards.

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